The RHOBH Red Wine Recap: From a Lambo to a Range Rover

Erika Jayne discusses her divorce on RHOBH
Erika addressed the “elephant in the room” in last night’s RHOBH. Pic credit: Bravo

Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Long recaps The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season 11, Episode 6, The Liberation of Erika Jayne, with a little help from a glass of Rose (or two) …

Hello my dah-lings. Well, for what we lacked in Erika Jayne last week – we sure made up for it this week!

She dished the dirt on Tom, she moved into her “downgraded” rental, and she got “lit” off of CBD treats. Talk about a liberation.

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Of course, we had the side drama between Dorit and Kyle that subsided while the weirdness between Sutton and Crystal ramped up – but that pales in comparison to the spotlight on Erika.

Let’s recap.

Erika addresses the elephant in the room

Well, we picked up from last week when Erika gave us her dramatic entrance into Sutton’s Parisian luncheon. She breezed in and asked “what’s going on” as if to build the suspense of her news. And, believe you me, none of the ladies peeped up to ask Erika “what the heck IS going on?!”

Erika held court, in her long fabulous dress (and it was fabulous because even Crystal swooned over it), and spoke about the “elephant in the room” when she was good and ready. And it seemed no matter what she said or what she was about to say, the ladies were going to agree with her no matter what. (Of course, if LVP was at the lunch, things might have been a different story.)

But Erika regaled the ladies with her tale of how her life has changed dramatically in the past week and how she gave up the “lambo, the mansion, and her marriage” because of how things have become, and “he left her no room.” And by this, she means that Tom uses one-word answers when speaking with her, treats her like an employee, and basically is dismissive.

Erika Jayne
He told someone, “if you can afford her, you can have her.” Pic credit: Bravo

Hearing Erika now speaking ill of Tom is, of course, foreign to our ears being that even on the Tahoe trip, she always praised her husband.

And I couldn’t help it if my mind drifted to the last time we saw Tom on Housewives when he hosted the matching pink-dressed ladies at his mansion and was the giddy little storyteller, captivating them all.

But then Bravo producers reminded us of the times Tom has been snappy, showing us a clip of that dinner with LVP where Tom cut Erika off, “excuse me – I was talking.” (Okay, so Ms. Jayne ain’t lying.)

Of course, the REAL elephant in the room is the legal drama surrounding Tom and Erika, but none of that was spoken of last night.

The only hint we got of it was when Erika vaguely said to Rinna, “He’s got some real challenges ahead of him.”

Erika also revealed to Rinna that she dropped Tom off at work, told him she loved him, he said “thanks hon,” she went home, packed her bags and was out the next day. No note. No Dear John. Nothing. Drove off and he was served the next morning.

Erika “downgrades” her lifestyle

Erika’s old house versus Erika’s new house – I’m more shocked her old house only had 4 bedrooms! Pic credit: Bravo

Erika also told the ladies she got a new Range Rover (because she got rid of the Lambo), and I guess this is supposed to be a downgrade, when, in fact, a Range Rover is my dream car.

Erika also had her “creative team” (glam squad) help her design her new 2,015 square foot home that she is renting, and, once again, this is far beyond anything I could ever afford. A downgrade to Erika. A dream to most.

And though Erika is not ready to meet Garcelle’s dating coach just yet, she does already have a time-stamp for when she would be ready to have sex again. I’m not going to lie, it might be pretty fun to see “single Erika” – especially when she comes “lit” to Crystal’s dumpling-making party and talks about putting CBD oil on her lady-parts to really liven things up.

Of course, we still had the drama between Sutton and Crystal and things are just getting weird in this department. Though Sutton has proven to be a little sensitive, now Crystal is showing some questionable attributes saying Sutton merely walking into Crystal’s room to return her coat made her feel “violated.” Those were the words from Dorit’s mouth, so who knows if this is actually true … at least we have single Erika to look forward to because otherwise, this episode was rather dull.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t highlight Kyle’s killer impression of Kathy’s “shorthand” way of talking…

“Kyle, you know the thing – about that thing …” Kathy teaches us it’s better to “allude to a situation because you never know who is listening. Pic credit: Bravo

I’m starting to realize Kyle is quite good at impressions (remember her one of Teddy’s walk?!)…

So, yeah … that was about it for this week, my friends. Stock up on your hot-toddies (Erika’s new drink of choice) because, by the looks of it, she and (we) are going to need them – things are just heating up!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on Bravo.

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