Monsters & Critics columnist Liz Long recaps Married at First Sight, New Orleans, Season 11, Episode 12, One Month Down and a Quarantine to Go, with a little help from a glass of pinot (or two) …
Greetings my MAFS-Lovers! And welcome to your weekly recap of Married at First Sight! Tonight, we are toasting to one-month anniversaries with what else, red wine! Henry drinks it. Woody drinks it. Ah, heck, they all pretty much drink it.
So pour your glass, and let’s recap!
For our anniversary gifts, one wife got diamonds, another got a t-shirt, another got a blender, and two got nothing.
Based on how this season is going, I’ll give you one guess who got the diamonds …
Woody and Amani – Killing the marriage game
Could it be that Woody and Amani are the best couple in Married at First Sight history?
Five minutes into the episode, I realized I hadn’t smiled until these two embraced my screen. “Sweets,” Woody acknowledges as Amani enters the kitchen for her “favorite time” – breakfast mornings with her husband.
These two are really after my heart: They drink mimosas on the regular, Woody often plants bouquets of flowers for her in the fridge, and they make even the little things like a budget fun. It’s #TheRandallWay.
And for the record, the main reason they’re partaking in a boring budget activity is because the good champagne is adding up quickly. And can we just pause to note they have Disney+ in the budget.
Yes, my beady little eyes inspected their budget.
And, yes, Woody’s habit of spending almost $1000 a month on clothes could be problematic for the more reserved Amani, but these two have that whole effective communication thing going, I’m not going to sweat it.
Plus, Woody buying his Sweets diamonds for her anniversary present is a sure-fire way to keep Sweets happy.
Top it off with both of them swooning over Amani in their wedding photos (“I look cuuuuuute!” and “Dang girl, let me look at you”), and I’m left smiling ear-to-ear, just like I did when they bantered over that first bottle of champagne.
Now, mind you, because we are at the beginning phases of quarantine, Woody and Amani can’t step out on the town like they normally do. But did that stop them from cooking up a nice dinner and having fun indoors? Of course not.
Me watching The Randalls, wishing I was part of TheRandallWay:
You guys captured my heart in Episode 1. You don’t need to keep going through Episode 12, but I appreciate the extra credit you’re putting in.
Olivia and Brett – Am I in the Twilight Zone?
Now, onto Olivia and Brett, who are night and day from Woody and Amani (but aren’t they all really?).
Olivia’s frustration with Brett has reached such a peak, the girl is literally breaking out in hives. Am I the only one who noticed this?
During their call with Pastor Cal, a large red spot kept coming and going as Olivia’s frustrations and confusions waxed and waned.
Though Olivia was the one who initiated the call, hoping the Good Pastor would cure her worries of whether Brett is in this for the right reasons, the call backfired on her a bit. It was as if Brett took a page from Karen’s book, pulling his own Jedi-mind tricks on Pastor Cal. Toward the end of the call, the good Pastor seemed to suggest that perhaps Olivia was the one coming off mean!
I think the problem was Olivia not being able to fully articulate how Brett is making her feel bad. But should that matter? I wanted to scream on Olivia’s behalf, words don’t matter! Just look at his body language! Listen to his tone! SEE the faces he makes!
Thankfully, Pastor Cal revealed how he really felt about Brett during an Unfiltered episode, but I just wish he would have set Brett straight during this episode to save Olivia from her hives.
To be fair, there were some nice moments for this couple tonight. First, we learned that Brett and Olivia are sometimes playful — and they even kiss — off camera (which is precisely Olivia’s hang-up: who is the real Brett?).
There was also this tender moment once Olivia finally articulated her frustrations to Brett concerning his sarcasm:
She spoke in such a raw, real manner about how she felt, Brett had to receive it. And thank the Lord he did. But even though he agreed to drop the sarcasm, there was still a disconnect shortly after this hug (Brett: “You’ll have to point out the moments I’m sarcastic because I’m not seeing it”). Oy vey.
P.S., in case it wasn’t obvious, Olivia and Brett were one of the two couples who didn’t exchange any anniversary presents tonight.
Bennett and Amelia: I love you
Okay, so we first had to get past the whole Yoop stuffed duck and tarot card reading with Bennett’s sister, Molly (who makes me slightly uncomfortable in ways I cannot explain). But at the end of the day, Molly is Team Amelia, which makes her good in my book.
I thought the best part of tonight’s episode would be when Bennett told Amelia he loved her. We were teased about this moment in the previews and it felt a lot more exciting then.
So, when the moment finally arrived tonight, and there wasn’t the inspirational music playing with it, I don’t know, it left me wanting a little more. It didn’t help that they cut to a commercial break basically right after Amelia told Bennett she loved him too. But look at me splitting hairs here.
The point is, Amelia and Bennett love each other! We have a solid couple on our little MAFS hands and that’s a reason for celebration, my friends.
So what if Bennett’s anniversary gift for Amelia was a blender, it’s Bennett and Amelia we’re talking about here guys! And, yes, he saved himself by following that up with another present: a cute little jaw harp finger thing, but Amelia stole the show with a song she wrote for Bennett about their love story.
I seriously almost cried when she sang it, and you could tell that Bennett was truly touched by it. All in all, the night was a win for these two.
And can we just take a moment for Dr. Fatsi’s serious look:
Alright now, Amelia. We see you and your many layers. (Bennett just happens to bring out that colorful, musical layer to her, as she noted.)
Okay, and now the rest.
As we enter the quarantine, and things get a little stale, I perk up for a handful of moments surrounding our remaining couples. I’ll point out the positives.
Karen and Miles: Well, they look good together
For what Karen and Miles lack in the connection department, they sure do make up for in the looks department. I mean, can we take a moment for Miss Karen in this outfit? The woman is stunning and her outfits are always on point. Tonight, her and Miles even matched as they joined Woody and Amani for a little check-in.
No surprise, Woody and Amani are all cute while Miles and Karen sing the same old burnt out tune. As Miles gets overly excited talking about how Karen is reserved, Karen’s annoyance subtly grows, but, hey, at least they look good.
What’s more, for their anniversary, Miles presents Karen with a t-shirt, which he explained, “I’m not saying I want us to be a TV couple, but these were role models to me and maybe we can be a TV couple on that list.”
It was cute, and Karen did seem to appreciate the gift. However, she didn’t have anything in return for Miles except a peck on the cheek for his thoughtfulness. Sorry, guys, I’m sorta over it, and I fear for these two in official lock-down mode.
Christina and Henry: Same ol’ same ol’
Christina and Henry also appeared on this episode, but they were so uneventful, I darn near forgot what happened with them. Oh yes, Henry’s ever-present gal pal Kristin stopped by to low-key bash his relationship with Christina.
Similarly, Christina’s guy pal from the housewarming party stopped over, but to my pleasant surprise, talked Henry up a bit (“he’s a good guy!”). Nonetheless, Christina admitted out loud to her friend that maybe she and Henry are just friends – a truth that seemed to hit her like a ton of bricks.
With that revelation spoken into the universe, Christina felt free to just let er’ rip as she and Henry paged through their wedding album. “Happier times then, huh, Henry?”
Henry didn’t take kindly to Christina’s brazenness, and like Miles and Karen, I’m kinda over it. I mean, really, how many times will we ping back and forth of “you’re just not the one” and “maybe you are the one I need.”
Next week, we officially settle into our stay-at-home orders and by all accounts, it looks like most of our couples (including my beloved Randalls) lose their s**t. Expect a lot of couch-sitting’ and a lot of getting on each others dang nerves. Happy quarantining, guys!
Til’ next week my MAFS-Lovers!
Married at First Sight airs on Wednesdays at 8/7c on Lifetime.
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