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The Bachelorette Red Wine Recap: It’s a drag being the bad kisser

Connor B goes home on The Bachelorette
Katie sent home poor little lovable bad kisser Connor B. last night on The Bachelorette. Pic credit: ABC

Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Long recaps The Bachelorette, Season 17, Episode 6, with a little help from a glass of pinot (or two) …

Well, folks, I’m going to keep this Bachelorette recap short and sweet. Our girl Katie is getting down to business in finding her man, and there’s no time to waste.

In fact, she is cutting out the excess tonight: and by excess, that sadly means our lovable cat Connor B. And if the ALL of the guys’ reactions to his departure didn’t tell you something about this man’s character, I suggest you put down the pinot and regain a little clarity.

Ah scratch that – bottoms up my Rose-Lovers. Let’s recap.

Connor B. gets a one-on-one but his kiss can’t save him

So I don’t know about you, but I could tell Katie just wasn’t feeling Connor B.’s kisses. I mean, I pretty much always cringe when I have to watch close-ups of people frenching on The Bachelor, but poor Connor’s kisses were all over the place.

He went from being the frontrunner of limo entrances (remember Katie telling Kaitlyn and Tayshia she couldn’t get him out of her head after he came out in a full-on cat suit?) to being Greg’s boy-toy.

Connor Brennan and Greg Grippo
What is this “boy-toy” you speak of, Liz. Pic credit: ABC

Now don’t get me wrong, I loved seeing Greg and Connor’s blossoming bromance, but as that relationship grew stronger, Katie’s connection with Connor grew weaker.

And you gotta love Katie. You could tell she wanted it to be there – giving Connor a last Hail Mary one-on-one, complete with a double-date with Kaitlyn and Jason, but it just wasn’t there.

Best part about this date? Kaitlyn and Jason watching from afar Katie kissing Connor.

Kaitlynn Bristowe and Jason Tartick
But we’re gonna watch anyway, Jason. Pic credit: ABC

Katie is too good of a person to put Connor through the dinner portion of their date, and so she comes a-knockin at his chamber doors, only to find him looking snazzier and more manly looking than he ever has before!

But it’s too late. And to add insult to injury, Katie is totally honest with Connor, telling him it was their kissing that was his demise.

Life’s a drag for most but Greg (and Blake)

Now that Greg is without Connor, he rushes to Katie to get confirmation that their relationship is good, and Katie gives him just that. In fact, she tells him she is falling for him.

Katie Thurston on The Bachelorette
It’s great! Pic credit: ABC

There. That’s my truth, Greg. And I mean, how could you not girl. The man’s jawline. His adorable sad puppy face. And let us not forget the way he looked during Ball Bash – the full package in my book.

But then we have Blake trying to put a wrench in this whole thing for me.

Come on Blake. I mean, I know you guys have some chemistry here, but is it just me, guys? Or does Blake come off as a big ol’ horn-ball to you too?

Katie Thurston and Blake Moynes
I do, Blake. It’s ruined by you making Katie forget about Greg. Pic credit: ABC

For some random reason, Katie issues a WOWO challenge to the men (“Week Off Whacking Off”), and leave it to Blake to tell Katie how “hard” it has been for him.

We can’t forget that an element to our girl is her “sex-positivity” so she actually relates to this part of Blake and plays right into his sexual puns. THEN, Blake has the nerve to bust out the clutch “Say Anything” move (using that country song from their private one-on-one concert) no less, and it lands for Katie. (I gotta admit, it was good – but geez – I need Greg over Blake here you guys).

And then, of course, we still have Michael A. And I leave you with his reaction to the drag queens, who were a part of the group date. Michael A., seriously? We didn’t need any more reason to love you, but alright. Carry on with your amazing self.

In addition to Connor B., we had Aaron (our handsome eyes and ears) also leaving us as well as the controversial Hunter – the guy who incredulously included himself in Katie’s Top Four … the guy who is apparently a Bachelor megafan … the guy who apparently comments on Bachelor/Bachelorette fan-boards(!) Why oh why would anybody care THAT much about this show … and then I look in the mirror and realize that that person is me … and I pour myself another.

Til’ next week, my loves!

The Bachelorette airs on Monday nights at 8/7c on ABC.

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