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Chicago Fire Season 5 Episode 20 recap: The one where Kelly Severide suffers again

Kelly Severide mourns his girlfriend Anna’s death on this week’s Chicago Fire

Recap of Chicago Fire Season 5 Episode 20, Carry Me, from 5/2/17.

We were not ready for last night’s Chicago Fire. Not at all. Ever since we found out about Anna’s cancer returning, I didn’t quite want to believe that they would go there, that the would actually kill her off.

What was the point of this entire storyline, then? Just to make poor Kelly Severide suffer again? I mean, can’t the guy catch a break and be happy for a little while at least?

I had hope. I truly had hope that this would only be another hurdle in their relationship and that, together, they would be able to beat it. Because Anna brought the best out in him and Severide had been so incredibly happy with her.

Why would you introduce Anna into his life, only to have her ripped away in the worst possible way? Hasn’t he suffered enough with Shay and his sister? I fear for what might happen to him in the aftermath of Anna’s death.

She had been getting treatment at Med and Kelly refused to leave her side. The doctor said her numbers were looking good, so they were optmistic about it, that maybe she would be able to bounce back from this.

She was in a good mood, even if the chemo was tearing through her body and she felt absolutely awful. But she put up a good front; told him to go to work and that she would be fine.

During that shift, Squad 3 gets a call about a house on fire and, when they get there, they see an old lady running frantically around the house in flames, trying to save photos and other objects.

Severide and Cruz go looking for her and soon find her passed out in the living room. Once she was out there in the ambulance, Kelly tells her that risking her life like this was not worth it to save just a couple of pictures, but she tells him that that house is her life and all she has left.

Later on, the old lady’s daughter shows up at the Firehouse with some cookies for Severide, to thank him for saving her mother. He tells him that she’s an incredibly stubborn woman and that she’s already back at the house, even though it’s not safe.

The fire damaged the structure, so the whole place was at risk of coming down. There’s not much Kelly can do, though. If she wants to stay there, it’s her call.

He tells Anna that story later that day at the hospital and she tells him that there is probably more than meets the eye with this woman, and that maybe he should go find out what her story is.

He had brought in a nice burger for her and those cookies, and they share such a sweet moment, confessing their love for each other. Right then, I knew for sure things would not go well, because it felt like goodbye.

He goes back to the old lady’s house, anyway, and tries to explain the risks of her staying there. And that’s when we find out that her husband died last summer, so the house and all the things in it are all she has left of him, along with nearly 40 years of memories.

She can’t just up and leave like that. She does pick up, however, on the fact that something is weighing on Severide and asks him about it. He opens up about Anna and she tells him that all he can do is be there for her and cherish the memories they have together.

He goes back to the hospital, but Anna has been sleeping more and more, trying to fight an infection.

He spends the night and, when he wakes up the next day, he sees a DNR sign on her door and a bracelet on her wrist, indicating that she should not be ressuscitaded.

Kelly confronts her doctor, but he just tells him that it’s Anna’s decision — although they’re just preparing for a worst case scenario and that he shouldn’t worry so much just yet.

Severide reflects about what one of the fire victims he saved told him.

During his next shift, he is out on a call when Boden shows up, telling him that the hospital called. It’s Anna and it’s serious and he should hurry.

And that moment right there was probably Taylor Kinney’s most incredible performance to date on Chicago Fire. When he gets to the hospital, the doctor tells him the infection has spread and there’s nothing more they can do.

Anna is barely awake, but she asks him about the old lady and he tells her the story and how she told him that they should cherish the memories they have together.

And then she just fades away and I was sobbing like a child by then, because Taylor Kinney made me feel like I had just lost a family member at that moment.

The pain was so raw and real that my heart was in pieces for Kelly Severide. His desperation was nothing short of incredible and utterly heartbreaking and had me crying big fat tears for him and for Anna and their short lived story, and just how incredibly unfair life can be.

Later, after the funeral, Kidd gives him an envelope full of photos from Anna’s bulletin board that her father thought he should have. Memories.

Because that was all he had left of her, and he finally understood what the old lady was talking about.

So he goes over to her place, tools in hand, determined to help her pack away the memories to take with her, but he couldn’t just leave her there.

When he tells her that his girlfriend died and she hugs him like a mother would, he breaks down and had all of us crying right along with him.

I just hope this doesn’t set him on a path for self destruction. We all remember how he was after Shay died. Please, TPTB, don’t do this to him again.

Chicago Fire: Other things to note

1. Elsewhere, Casey was trying to help his friend Jason Kanell after last week’s tragic turn of events. He talks to Chief Boden and they manage to settle the case without any implications to Kanell or the fallen Lieutenant Doyle, so Jason could come back to work. It takes some convincing, but Kanell shows up at the Firehouse by the end of the episode and Casey offers him a position with Squad 3.

2. Brett moved in with Cruz and Otis and it’s hilarious. She changes everything in the house, pisses them off and things are pretty touch and go for a while, but they work things out – especially after the sobering reality of Anna’s death – and now they’re all roomies.

3. My heart is still completely broken for Severide.

Chicago Fire airs every Tuesday at 10/9c on NBC.

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