Episode 1 of American Horror Story: Double Feature set up the premise just nicely as to what to expect in the first six episodes of Season 10.
For a quick recap, the Gardners arrived in town. Harry (Finn Wittrock) has writer’s block. His wife, Doris (Lily Rabe), is pregnant and into fixer-uppers, and their daughter, Alma (Ryan Kiera Armstrong), is deliciously creepy.
Episode 1 ended with Harry taking a little black pill that is neither FDA approved or has a name. So, let’s see what happens next.
Harry’s jagged little pill fixes writer’s block
It comes as no surprise that the pill that Harry took, given to him by Austin (Evan Peters), fixes his writer’s block right up. So, there’s no need to leave Provincetown now. Also, now Harry is officially an a**hole.
Meanwhile, Alma tells her mother about the little black pill that her father took and wonders if maybe it will also fix her music anxiety.
Needless to say, it appears that Harry may have just turned his soul over the devil. He may be able to write now, but the rest of his life is quickly going to hell in a handbasket.
Also, food seems to make him hurl now.
Do those black pills make you a vampire?
Harry may suck, but his writing doesn’t
After writing day and night, Doris finally gets a chance to read it. And, while Harry may now be a sh**ty human being, his writing isn’t.
He then apologizes for being a jerk and replacing his muse with Provincetown over his wife. And head’s off to the supermarket for something to eat — since he hasn’t done so since that nausea-inflicting sub previously.
Along the way, he comes across one of those creepy clicky-boned creatures just casually drinking the blood out of an animal. Quickly, a bunch of them turn up, but things get weird when it appears Harry’s blood isn’t good enough for them.
Finally, he gets to the supermarket — and loads up on all of the red meat goodness that he can lay his hands on to make a Santa Clarita Diet smoothie.
But not before TB Karen (Sarah Paulson) can turn up now and give him a lecture on what thirsty really means now that he’s downed one of Austin’s pills.
Now that he has gotten his blood fix, he gets back to work. Meanwhile, Alma, who wanted to stay in the first place, is now on the Team Go Home bandwagon. Doris tells her to give him a few more days.
Because no one ever listens to the kid, and that’s why they always end up in a big hot mess.
Alma is also still itching to try one of the black pills. I feel like I know where this is headed.
While a week has passed and Harry has sent off his writing to Ursula (Leslie Grossman), he still wants to hang around for at least another week. But we all know he’s a junkie already, and his word is worth sh*t to anyone else.
Then, Doris cuts her hand while prepping dinner, and it becomes apparent that the Gardners also have a new problem when Harry sucks her like an iced lolly.
It’s a little too late to be asking questions, Harry
It’s only now that Harry thinks to question Austin about what was in the pills he gave him.
Not only do we seem to get way too many closeups of Austin’s loaded gun, but we also get a bit of a backstory about the pills. It turns out those clicky-boned creatures lurking around town are those that took the pills but had no talent.
Austin then informs Harry that it’s about time he tried live food; now he’s into blood. The other option is to stop taking the pills and lose all his inspiration.
Wow, what a deal with the devil you’ve signed there, Harry.
Returning home, he tells Doris that they will leave in the morning — but not before Ursula calls to tell him that Netflix is offering him a deal, and Doris gets all excited about how rich they are going to be now.
*sigh* They were so close to leaving.
(Solo) date night: part two
Cue the celebrations because Doris is now totally down with ignoring all of the weird sh*t now that the green notes are laid out in front of her.
Meanwhile, Harry goes on a “writer’s trip” with Austin and Belle — but, really, it’s all about the live feed.
The ground rules are also laid out. You don’t need to take the black pills — or Muse as Austin has now named them — all the time, and you only need to feed once a week.
This works out to be half a human. Also, the pair are big on snacking on the usual types, those that are often considered “less than dead” by cops and serial killers. You know, druggies and sex workers.
So, they feast on a junkie.
Mickey and TB Karen shack up
Speaking of those that society is okay with ignoring, Mickey (Macaulay Culkin) has offered TB Karen a place to stay in his shack during the particularly cold stretch.
It turns out Mickey also touts himself as a writer and dares Karen to take one along with him. She flips out and warns him against it, but, alas, it’s no use because Karen is a painter, and Mickey has bought a bunch of her work. A fact that he only just now reveals to her.
While Karen doesn’t drop the Muse, Mickey does — because what is worse than living in his hovel anyway?
Harry goes full vampire
Now that Harry is all snacked up on human blood, he heads off to visit the dentist recommended to him by Belle to get his teeth filed.
It turns out the dentist, Lark (Billie Lourd), is also a bloodsucker. She is also a tattoo artist, and that’s all thanks to taking Muse.
While he’s getting his teeth filed, his daughter is at home taking the Muse. Needless to say, her music instantly improves.
But she’s also an insta-a**hole, just like her dad.
Doris doesn’t pick up on this, though, and decides they are all leaving tomorrow. *rolls eyes* But, not before Alma is busted eating a bunny in the cemetery.
However, viewers will have to wait until next week to find out what happens next in American Horror Story: Double Feature.
American Horror Story airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on FX.