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The Real Housewives of Potomac recap: The Karen is the Grand Dame of absolutely nothing edition

Karen Huger’s face when Ashley Darby tells her she has been dethroned by Monique Samuels on RHOP

The finale of Real Housewives of Potomac picks back up with the ladies bickering at Charrisse’s champagne room reveal.

“They’re concerned about why I moved to Great Falls,” Karen says.

“Karen, it just feels like you’re lying about a lot of things… I’m Scooby Doo-ing it right now trying to find out the real mystery,” Ashley says.

“I think karma is just coming back to bite her right in the booty,” Ashley says Karen is the one who laid down all the rules about behavior, and now she’s breaking them.

“I don’t have to tell anyone…” Karen rants about how she doesn’t need to share the details of her move. But she’s the one who told everybody she had a cash offer in Bermuda.

Karen’s reaction to being grilled about her move to Great Falls, Virginia from Potomac, Maryland

Then she starts talking about her upcoming anniversary party, as if she and Ray are planning something. Poor guy doesn’t know that she’s feeling insecure and needs to drop 50k of his money to prove she’s not.

“I’m not sure I’m going to invite everyone, to be honest,” Karen says, after announcing that she’s going to have a 20th anniversary party.

So why did she tell everybody? Rude, rude, rude.

And then she tells them about the theme – “exotic.” Lady is talking straight out of her butt here, winging it as she goes along.

“She needs to focus on the home front,” Karen snarks about Ashley’s marriage.

Then Ashley practically begs for an invite. Not a good look.

Poor Ray Huger. He married this thing. And now she’s home.

“I know you wanted to downsize – this is resizing though,” Karen says her new, bigger house is totally “befitting me.” But they’re renting.

“If I don’t like it here, I can always build or buy again in Potomac,” Karen says.

Ray’s face when Karen tells him they can always buy another home in Potomac

Ray gives her the are-you-crazy look. But proof he’s a good husband is that he doesn’t humiliate her on national television.

Then she tells Ray they’re having a 20th anniversary party, with an “exotic” theme.

“A little Bollywood if you will,” Karen says.

“We’re not Indian… we’re African American,” Ray is baffled by her bizarre “exotic” idea.

He’s not the only one who is confused. I feel sorry for all the guests.

Meanwhile, Gizelle goes to lunch with her dorky boyfriend Kevin. To dump him.

He tells her he wants to speed up their relationship. She tells him she doesn’t want to mess up that friendship. #KissOfDeath

“Can you take it to the next level and make it that much better?” Kevin asks.

Kevin doesn’t recognize the “friend” remark as the kiss of death on his relationship with Gizelle

It’s sad to watch.

Monique and Chris have closed on their new $5 million Potomac home, and she invites the girls over to see it, even though they’re gutting it and renovating before they move in.

“I could live in a box, I’d still be flipping my hair and looking like this,” Monique says of moving into the 20854 zip code. She’s not affected by her location.

“Monique is just a breath of fresh air,” Charrisse says.

“We’re like swapping,” Monique points out that she’s just moved from Vienna, which is over on the other side of the river by Great Falls, where Karen just moved.

Karen looks like she’s been slapped. It’s awesome. Bahaha!

“I think Monique is going to bring some life and some zest and some fun into Potomac,” Ashley says.

I happen to agree.

Karen’s face when she realizes her crown has slipped off her wig

But shut up Ashley, you don’t even live in Potomac. You don’t get to have an opinion. #WannaBe

Charrisse wants to sage the house, so all the girls follow her around waving the smoke through the air to evict bad energy.

“In with the bad energy, out with the bad. Just like in with Monique, out with Karen,” Ashley snarks.

That was fabulous!

Karen starts talking about her party again. As if anybody really cares.

“And you know what Ashley, you’re invited,” Karen says. Lucky Ashley. Not. If she didn’t suffer from FOMO, she’d know she’d be luckier to skip it.

Charrisse suggests Monique needs to add a champagne room. Monique says she’s planning to use Charrisse’s. #SmartWoman

The girls start joking about making Monique and Chris the “Duchess and Duke of Potomac.”

Karen has a tough time keeping her face neutral. She’s dying.

Some of the girls go shopping for costumes for Karen’s anniversary party.

Robyn, Charrisse and Ashley dissect what’s actually going on in Karen’s life.

Ashley, Robyn and Charrisse throw shade at Karen as they shop for costumes to wear to her party

“We can see through that… It almost makes you immediately think is she hiding something? Is she having money troubles?” Robyn asks.

The party is a typical Karen Huger-planned party.

This woman doesn’t know what she’s doing. She thinks it’s enough to rent a nice venue, and hire a caterer. Or in this case, provide an empty house and hire a caterer.

Why do none of the guests at Karen and Ray’s anniversary party have drinks? #PartyFail

But if nobody is serving drinks upon arrival, and there’s nothing to munch, and no décor other than your guests’ costumes, it’s a poorly-planned fiesta. #TotalPartyFail

The anniversary party theme is confusing to look at, and I can’t imagine how the guests felt.

“Why would Ray and Karen need all this space?” Charrisse asks.

Monique and Chris Samuels arrive, and the new girl has had some fun with her costume.

“It’s an Indian theme. As in saris. Not the Village People,” Gizelle snarks.

Monique, wife of a legendary Redskins player, rocked an “exotic” American Indian costume at the party

“I think Monique is trying to make light of everything,” Charrisse says.

“This is just feeling like a little much,” Robyn says, looking around for a drink.

“Where’s the hostess, where’s the drinks, where’s the valet, where’s the godd**ned food,” Gizelle rants, shredding Karen’s hostessing ability.

For once, I totally agree with Gizelle.

There’s an unacceptable number of people standing around with nothing to eat or drink, and the hostess is late making her grand entrance. She’s still getting beautiful.

No amount of war paint will move you back to Potomac, Karen. Don’t waste your time. #OutOfSightOutOfMind

Karen makes a really pretentious and stupid-looking entrance. Waving like she’s the Queen. #Not

Karen and Ray make a big entrance, but look really silly doing it

Her parties are so poorly executed – she doesn’t get the finishing touches – and she thinks they’re so fabulous. I feel embarrassed for her just watching this mess.

“I love you,” Karen tells Gizelle, when she greets her.

“You live far as s**t from me,” Gizelle says.

It’s just one backhanded compliment after another on this show.

Karen snarks about Monique’s American Indian costume.

Am I the ONLY person who gets it that Chris Samuels was a legendary Redskin? Monique’s costume is HILARIOUS given the ambiguity of the stupid party theme. #HTTR

“I’m dressed up as an Indian. I’m not white too,” Michael Darby jokes with the other husbands, who are speculating as to why the Huger house is completely empty after they’ve moved in.

There’s a big tent in the back yard, but the food isn’t that great.

Michael says he’d rather be eating emu. Bahaha!

“They need to just go get some sex,” Monique says when Karen and Ray share an uncomfortable-to-watch dance. Her daughter must be mortified.

Karen’s kids had to be dying while their mom put on a show on the dance floor

“Twenty years and I still look good, don’t I?” Karen asks, during the toast.

How about “thank you for paying for all my Botox and cosmetic surgery, Ray.” That would be a more appropriate toast.

Then Karen tries to eat Ray’s face. Or kiss him. #Awkward

“I don’t ever want to see that again,” Gizelle snarks.

Oh shut up, Gizealous – at least somebody is kissing Karen!

Charrisse and Karen exchange backhanded compliments when they chat. It’s the equivalent of saying “bless your heart” to somebody’s face in the South.

I’m dying as I watch this whole party. It’s straight-up Karen’s 45-years-too-late debutante ball.

Karen reveals her mother is suffering from dementia, and can’t attend the party. She sends a love message they play aloud. Then Karen dissolves in tears. Again, very awkward.

But it doesn’t win her any sympathy with the other housewives. She’s been too big a b***h for too long.

Nobody is sad she has moved to Virginia.

“Karen can definitely call herself the grand dame of Great Falls,” Monique says. #Ouch!

Next week, the #RHOP reunion gets nasty.

Andy Cohen has to tell Karen she’s not the hostess.

And Andy grills Juan about his relationship with Robyn, and gets told “there are two sides to every story.”

Charrisse declares Karen is the “grand dame of not a damned thing.”

And she gets down and dirty with Karen. Which is surprising, since Karen stood up for her last year when Gizelle did the same thing to Charrisse.

“People say you have a boyfriend, and do I talk about that? Blue eyes, or whatever his name is,” Charrisse announces. Jaws drop!

“You’re a damned liar,” Karen yells.

Not gonna miss this battle royale for the title (and crown) of Potomac.

Rumor has it

The new season of the The Real Housewives of Potomac starts filming this month – just a couple weeks after the reunion. Cuz that’s not going to be awkward with this group. Guess we’ll know who the grand dame of Potomac is soon. Bahaha!

Things we’re left wondering

Why is Robyn still letting Juan run her life? He wasn’t interested in her until he found out somebody else was. Once he destroys her self-esteem again, he’ll cheat.

What’s Charrisse’s shady sex party history that Ashley refers to on the reunion teaser? Very interesting! No, that’s not typical of Potomac.

Does Monique GAF about anything these women say about her? I wish I could have as much confidence around #MeanGirls as she does. Pass her the crown!

The Real Housewives of Potomac airs Sundays at 8/7c on Bravo.

Sandy Malone is a reality TV star, expert wedding planner, and internationally-syndicated columnist for Conde Nast's BRIDES and The Huffington Post, in addition to Monsters... read more
Sandy Malone

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