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The Charlie Sheen experience continues courtesy of 20/20 Tuesday

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller-Sheen
Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller-Sheen – alas no more. Pic credit: ©ImageCollect.com/StarMaxWorldwide

Charlie Sheen’s quotes are fun to revisit.

The “gnarly gnarlington Vatican ninja Octagon fighter” entertained us last week on radio, and via “exclusives” with Radar and TMZ.

More to come, as we will see Carlos Estevez (Charlie before he was a Sheen) chit-chat with ABC News’ Andrea Canning on a special one hour 20/20 set to air Tuesday at 10 p.m. ET.

According to ABC, Sheen will elaborate on his controversial remarks “and his public feud with (Two and A Half Men’s) creator, Chuck Lorre, which resulted in the hit show’s suspension, as well as his notorious headline-making actions.”

Because when you insult a big showrunner, that is, like, at LEAST as bad as 10 incidents of brutal spousal abuse.  Charlie was only up to about two or three allegedly, the latest (allegedly) wielding a knife at his then wife Brooke at Christmas, and scaring some hooker into a locked bathroom while he wreaked havoc on a poor hotel suite.

CBS finally pulled the plug after the Lorre insult straw broke the camel’s back.

We want Carlos Estevez back. He was amazing in ‘Wall Street,” “Platoon” and “Major League.” Seriously. Even in “Hot Shots Part Deux,” so we are sincerely hoping it all shakes out in his favor.

Let’s revisit the Sheen-tastic radio quotes from last week:

I think it was Nails that said, and I was really flattered that he got it right, he might be Nails, but I’m bayonets. I’m battle tested bayonets.

I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee … they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, ‘I can’t process it.’

Let me say this about the Goddesses, I don’t think the term is good enough, but when you’re bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best term available. So if you think about it, dude, I’m 0-for-3 in marriage, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn’t lie. Never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the hearts. And to sully, contaminate, or radically disrespect this unit with a shameful contract is something I’ll leave to the amateurs and bible grippers.

Where there were four, there are now three. Good-bye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels; you’re going to need it. Badly … She’s not there now and we are and I don’t know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry man, didn’t make the rules. Oops.

Portions of the interview will also air Monday on Good Morning America.

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April is an accredited entertainment writer, interviewer and television critic. She is a current member of the Television Critics Association (TCA), Gay and Lesbian Entertainment... read more
April Neale
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