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The Amazing Race recap: The Shamir is THAT GUY edition

Shamir is doomed to be THAT GUY this season as he complains about his injuries each week

Redmond and Matt burned some big bridges last week on The Amazing Race when they violated their alliance with Vanck and Ashton.

It’s only Week 3, and lots of teams are bickering.

“I don’t like drama, and there’s already a lot of drama going on with some of these other teams,” London says.

Shamir’s still talking about his squished testicles during last week’s Roadblock.

“Last leg I was injured a bit, and I’m just really frustrated,” Shamir says.  Bahaha!

He’s such a puss.

Sara’s already sick of him.

“There’s no drama with this team because we’re ‘Team Man’,” Redmond says.

Alrighty then. The one-legged veteran is a male chauvinist pig. Lovely.

I was cheering for him right up until he said that. And I’m not even a feminist.

“We’ve gotta get Vanck and Ashton on our side in case we need them,” Matt says.

Fat chance.

“I just don’t like it when people screw me over,” Ashton says.

Nobody does.

#TeamFun, Becca and Floyd, are still getting along just fine. But I predicted that.

For the next leg of the race, everybody has to fly from Brazil to Tanzania, where they’re in search of a monument to World War I soldiers.

And, to keep things interesting, there’s a blind double U-Turn ahead.

Only one team is on the first flight.

“It’s going to be a mad dash from the airport once we get there,” Matt says.

Matt and Redmond broke a deal they had with Vanck and Ashton last week

Matt and Redmond cut in line at the fast ferry terminal, and their competitors aren’t happy.

They didn’t see it until it was too late.

But cheating doesn’t help them.

Tara and Joey U-Turn Seth and Olive.

Vanck and Ashton U-Turn Matt and Redmond, as expected. #Karma

One Detour requires them to build and deliver a desk to a school, then learn four phases in the Tunisian language from the kids.

The other Detour requires them to weave baskets from palm fronds.

They have to catch boats to the location of the detours, and there’s a lot of smack talk, back and forth between teams.

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“We’re going to get you. Are you scared? Because you should be scared,” Redmond bullies Vanck.

“Oh Redmond, stop,” Ashton says.

Everybody’s talking about the battle between those two teams.

“They’re just afraid of us because we’re so much stronger,” Redmond says.

Ashton tells Vanck to ignore them, and not let them get into his head.

The BUILD detour is tricky.

“I’m horrible at building things,” Shamir says, after they’ve chosen it and arrived.

Apparently, he struggles with IKEA.

Sara’s face is hilarious. I feel sorry for her.

Shamir gets a boo boo. He’s going to be THAT GUY this season, isn’t he?

Seth and Olive build their desk first, and tackle part two of their U-Turn.

Mike and Liz are second.

Seth and Olive start the second detour long before most teams have finished their first.

But the WEAVE challenge isn’t easy either.

London knits for a living, and she was VERY cocky going into it.

“I’m an artist, and I crochet crazy things out of yarn… so when I saw the weaving challenge, I was pretty confident,” London says.

But then she gets nervous, and freaks, and her teammate Logan have to switch Detours.

I think that’s the only team that had to switch.

Matt and Redmond finish their basket before anybody else doing that Detour.

“We showed up expecting to be last, but we weren’t. That was an amazing confidence booster,” Redmond says.

This guy may talk BIG, but so far he’s living up to his promises.

Shamir and Sara argue their way through building a desk. It’s painful to watch.

Sara really drew the short straw with her teammate.

Redmond and Matt arrive at the BUILD challenge, where they start AND finish their desk (their second Detour) before Shamir and Sara finish theirs.

Shamir and Sara finish last. They can’t even carry the desk without fighting.

“Sara, come on, push!” Shamir yells at her.

The Roadblock requires one person (the one who didn’t wash windows last week) to collect all the ingredients for a Tunisian dish, in a local outside market. #WhatsforDinner

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Mike-the-Butcher knows all the items on the list.

His performance last week is the reason they started out in last place.

“Mike knows everything about this,” Liz says.

Mike and Liz are the first to finish and head to the mat at the Pit Stop.

Mike and Liz are the first to the finish thanks to Mike’s kitchen skills

“Liz and Michael, I am pleased to tell you that you are Team #1,” Host Phil Keoghan announces.

They also win a trip to Amsterdam.

“So far, you’re the best performing team in this race,” Phil says.

“I have never in my life seen or heard of any of this,” Joey says, looking for the shopping list of items he can’t identify.

“What’s halal?” Joey asks.

He asks a vendor if his chicken is halal, clearly not understanding that it’s a butchering process.

The vendor says yes, and sells it to him, but he doesn’t have it butchered.

So he has to go back and try again.

Tara and Joey are in second place at the finish.

Back at the market, some of the competitors pair up for shopping, but it doesn’t work well.

They’re getting screwed on prices by the locals. Some pay in local currency, some use American dollars.

Not everybody has enough money, and nobody wants to kick in more. Bad plan.

London is irate that the teamwork shopping cost them time, instead of helping them.

Seth and Olive are in last place finish the second Detour of their U-Turn.

Shamir and Sara are barely ahead of them, and I’m hoping he’ll trip.

In the market, Sara and Shamir run out of money, and Sara goes back and begs other vendors to give her some money back.

And they do!

But Seth and Olive arrive before she solves her financial problems, making it a real possibility that Sara will finish last.

“Who’s behind us?” Seth asks Shamir, as they wait for their partners.

“No one,” Shamir says.

Vanck and Ashton make it to the finish just ahead of Matt and Redmond, and they’re gloating.

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“There was some bad blood between them and us from earlier in the race. I don’t see why they’re so surprised by it,” Ashton says.

“You made the most sense to U-Turn because you lied to our face,” Ashton says.

“I just don’t like Ashton,” Redmond says.

“I have plenty of other friends,” Ashton replies.

Wow, such venom on the mat in Week Three.

Olive is trying to pay at a Tunisian market with Brazilian money. And they let her. WTF?

“We can’t use this money,” vendors keep telling her.

They follow her back to Seth, who convinces them they can exchange it. #Lucky

Host Phil Keoghan won’t check in #TeamFun until Floyd finds his passport

Floyd has lost his passport. Phil can’t check them in.

“You are an absolute idiot,” Becca says, as Floyd tries to call their taxi driver.

It’s the first time #TeamFun has looked unhappy.

“Did anyone turn in a passport here?” he asks at a hotel desk.

Like ANYONE in that country would turn in a U.S. passport. That’s worth a lot of money.

But their taxi driver saves the day when he shows up with the passport.

Their delay allows Sara and Shamir check in ahead of them, but Becca and Floyd are hot on their heels.

“This is the first time I haven’t seen a big smile on your face,” Phil says to Becca.

Floyd promises not to lose his passport again because he’s killing their fun meter.

Seth and Olive are last, and they get eliminated.

“The U-Turn took us down,” Seth says.

But they’re ending on a positive note.

“I never had a moment where I regretted picking her as a partner,” Seth says.

Things we’re left wondering

Will Shamir hurt himself on every leg of the race? He’s in the lead to take the whiner prize this season.

Will Karma go after Matt and Redmond as they continue to lie and cheat?

The Amazing Race airs Thursdays at 10/9c on CBS.

Sandy Malone is a reality TV star, expert wedding planner, more

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