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The Amazing Race recap: The don’t get your testicles in a wad edition

The Amazing Race competitors must rappel down a building to clean windows in the Roadblock

Making, and breaking, alliances in The Amazing Race can have unfortunate consequences, but that doesn’t seem to matter to Matt and Redmond.

Apparently, they made a deal with Vanck and Ashton to stick together upon arrival in Brazil, their next destination.

But the #TheBoys didn’t keep up their end of the bargain.

I say “apparently” because the first few minutes of tonight’s episode were pre-empted by the President’s press conference about dropping warheads on Syria.

“Nobody would be smart to wait for another team,” Redmond says, when they decide to go ahead.

Matt and Redmond made and broke an alliance in one leg of the race.

“It’s a race. We were expecting you to do the same thing,” Matt says.

“We’re hoping on TV right now, under our names, it says CURRENTLY IN 1ST PLACE,” Matt says.

It does. But not for long.

Quite a few of the competitors start this leg of the race in pissy moods.

But not Team Geek – Becca and Floyd are in 8th place, but that doesn’t stop them from posing for selfies with their taxi driver because they’re fun.

Shamir, the Wall Street Banker, gets worked up when he’s not on the flight he wants to be on with his teammate Sara.

We’re learning quickly that he has a serious attitude and a bit of a temper.

Jessie and Francesca are the only team on the last flight, and it doesn’t bode well for the only all-girl pair.

Jessie and Francesca started out at the back of the pack in Brazil

They’re racing to helicopters that will take them to the top of a building to get their next Detour.

The Detour choices are Keep The Beat or Work Your Feet

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Work Your Feet requires the team to assemble a makeshift gym out of junk supplies like car rims and an old fridge, following an example provided.

Keep the Beat means they have to learn how to play two percussion instruments and perform with a samba group.

Redmond and Matt choose Work Your Feet. Vanck and Ashton are right behind them.

Red and Matt lose time they forgot to put water in their barrel at the end. And it takes a few minutes to figure out what they missed.

When they do, they try to be sneaky so Vanck and Ashton don’t figure it out from watching them. But that was a waste of time because Vanck and Ashton figured it out on their own, with no time lost.

Shamir and Sara are the first to try to do Keep the Beat. And they flunk. So does almost everybody else, so they still finish the Detour first.

Becca and Floyd get the beat in one try. Floyd’s a drum major.

“The fun meter is in the red zone people. In the red zone,” Becca says.

Scott and Brooke are lost. And frustrated. And screaming at each other.

She trips and falls and bruises her elbow.

“Pain is temporary, elimination is forever,” Brooke yells as they run to Work Your Feet.

But once they get to the Detour, she’s not much help lifting things and building the gym.

Because Karma does exist, Vanck and Ashton beat Redmond and Matt to the challenge.

They’re cleaning windows on the side of a tall building, by rappelling down the side.

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Vanck and Ashton finish second.

Matt and Redmond finish third. #Karma

“We finished ahead of Matt and Red, so I’m pumped,” Ashton says.

She carries a grudge.

Scott has to do the windows even though he’s afraid of heights because Brooke hurt her elbow, and he’s in tears in the elevator on the way up.

Scott breaks down over the rappelling Roadblock challenge on this week's The Amazing Race
Scott breaks down over the rappelling Roadblock challenge on this week’s The Amazing Race

“I cried the first 20 minutes of this challenge. I cried before it, and I cried during it,” Scott admits.

But he did it!

Becca flies down the side of the building because she climbs rocks for a living.

Becca flew down the side of the building like the rock-climbing pro she is

Next, they all have to run to the Urban Rainforest to find Phil at the finish line.

After finishing last and almost getting eliminated last week, Liz and Michael take first place this week.

After almost being eliminated the first leg, Mike and Liz take first place

They win a trip to Barbados, too!

“We crushed it,” Mike says. I was impressed.

But back at the building, window cleaning isn’t going well for everybody.

Cocky Shamir is suffering.

Shamir had serious problems with his junk during the Roadblock

“I think my testicles are swollen,” Shamir complains.

He’s is seriously whining about the harness cutting into his private parts.

Nobody else complained about problems with that. Hard to believe this jerk has a BIGGER problem than his competitors.

He fails in his first attempt, and has to do it again.

But he can’t.

“Oh my God, My testicle is about to rupture,” Shamir says, and screams for help to get down. Also, he accidentally breaks the window in the process.

“I need a doctor, I need an ambulance,” he says the minute he hits the ground.

You can hear him bellyaching in the ambulance.

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“He got a little testy, no pun intended,” Logan says. Not nice. Bahahaha!

But his teammate Sara is not impressed.

“If a million dollars were on the line and I had some discomfort, I’d probably suck it up,” Sara says.

Jessie and Francesca show up and ask Shamir’s partner for help, and she sends them in the totally wrong direction.

“Shamir, remember the girls are on your tail, okay?” Sara yells.

“My balls hurt. What do you want me to do?” Shamir asks.

This is the opportunity Francesca and Jessie need to pass Shamir and Sara, but Francesca botches the window and has to do it again.

Shamir actually finishes the window, and they make it to the mat as Team 9 – the last ones to stay in the race.

He has words for Phil, and comes off as a pissy little bitch.

Host Phil Keoghan is not impressed with Shamir’s attitude at the finish

“Let’s move on from this,” Phil says.

Sara is in tears trying to answer Phil’s questions.

“I think I’ve learned a lot about him. And I’m going to figure out how to handle things from here on out,” Sara says.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Sadly, Jessie and Francesca get eliminated. It’s sad to see them go.

I would have been much happier watching Shamir hobbling in last. #JustSaying

Things we’re left wondering

What the hell was Shamir’s problem? Why couldn’t they fix the harness?

Will Scott and Brooke spend the entire leg arguing next week, too?

The Amazing Races airs Thursdays at 10/9c on CBS.

Sandy Malone is a reality TV star, expert wedding planner, more

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