The only time I heard Mr. Daniel Edgar swear so much was when his son Dwaine did something that set him off, but lawd, you steal from Mr. Daniel and you are gonna be hunted down like the yellow-bellied loser that you are.
And tonight’s Swamp People turned into a high speed chase straight outta Miami Vice. It was wild!
But we have jumped ahead.
It is day 24 in the 30-day hunting season in Louisiana. We have the Molineres, the Edgars and the Landrys with Terral “Twisted Steel and Sex Appeal” Evans at the ready. Willie Edwards, Ashley and Ronnie are taking a break.
Over at Pierre Part, Troy, Jacob, Holden and Terral are prepping to head to Cow Island. This is a place where bigguns breed and cows are actually around grazing when they aren’t in a death roll with a gator equally as girthy.
In other words, you won’t be booking a vacation here anytime soon.
Jacob is paired with Holey Boley and we learn he cannot shoot like Jay Paul Molinere.
His new nickname is, “Three clip wonder Holey Boley,” but having said that he managed to bag a big female. He makes Jacob laugh. Wonder where Chase is these days?
Meanwhile, Terral is all wide eyed as he spins tales of the fetid Cow Island where gators are the size of cows they say.
This is a lake surrounded by high grounds and the team MacGuyvers boats and ATVs and uses all available spit to get the gear up and over the snake-infested dry land and into the murky pit of no return.
They bag a metric ton of huge animals by show end. How Troy gets one of the boats up and over the land berm is hysterical despite the fact he nearly killed Jacob.
Fans can breathe a sigh of relief as Big Tee is back with Mr. Daniel. His knee has healed up and he’s back in the saddle. Tee is a monster sniper too and he and Mr. Daniel are in for a sobering outing.
Some jackhole is poaching all their lines, cutting them down and the putting up lines with pink ribbons and letting the gators die on them.
It’s like a scene from Apocalypse Now but with reptile carcasses. Pan to at least a dozen dead gators.
Mr. Daniel loses his s**t entirely.
Then he gets super crafty and hatches a sting operation with Big Tee gunned up and ready to face off and snare the idiots doing this.
The place they are at is called Crook Chene. Appropriately named, natch.
Daniel Edgar says: “It’s got a terrible reputation for poachers…and over and over they just continue to steal.”
Outside Franklin, Joey Edgar and his partner Zac Catchem (real name) are hunting Joey’s home town.
Neighbor Mr. John gives Joey a handy catfish (it’s Louisiana come on!) and Joey surmises that the gator has a taste for it. “Where you at monster?” he says. “I owe the community to get this gator before it wrecks somebodies life.” Then Joey and Zac get a two-fer on one line, no hook. It was like gator Christmas.
The gun show was had with the buff Molineres, both father and son are ripped like iceberg lettuce and are dealing with fish kill — where the oxygen depletion has caused a nasty smelly mass of dead fish.
Jay resorts to sniping and they catch the gators this way. Jay is a natural born killer for real, like he would likely say, “Imma natchul bonn killah for reeeeel.” Just like that.
In the end, the Landrys cleaned up as Cow Island was filled with huge gators.
As for the bad guys? Along came nightfall at Crook Chene where Mr. Daniel and Big Tee were gunned up and ready for bear.
Their sting operation was afoot.
“We got guns in this boat. The good lord willing it won’t come to that,” says Mr. Daniel to Big Tee. In ‘Murica y’all don’t be stealing no gators from hard-working folk.
The poachers were totally busted by Mr. Daniel and they ran like the wind in a high-speed pursuit. Insane!
“I don’t think they liked the feeling when I yelled,” says Mr. Daniel. “I think its better for them that I didn’t catch them…now they know I might be out there at anytime. Mission accomplished.”
[[“Fin.”]]
See y’all next week.
Swamp People airs Thursdays at 9/8c on History.