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Below Deck recap: The hideous blue rose bouquet for Emily edition

Kate Chastain's plan — to have Ben give Emily a bouquet of blue roses for Valentine's Day
Kate Chastain’s plan — to have Ben give Emily a bouquet of blue roses for Valentine’s Day

So my blog’s late because I was floating around in the Caribbean, on Nevis Island in the West Indies, last week.

With that said, I got caught up on my BravoTV Below Deck today, and I didn’t miss much.

The show opens with Kelley still not getting that Emily isn’t into him.

“Kelley makes me feel awkward,” Emily confides in Sierra.

Meanwhile, he’s making Valentine’s Day comments at her and trying too hard.

On the back side, Kate conspires with Ben and sets him up with an absolutely hideous bouquet of blue roses for Emily for Valentine’s Day.

“I’ll be smiling all day,” Emily loves the ugly dyed-blue blossoms, and Ben scores a lingering hug.

Later, Ben asks Emily out, and she says yes — “It would be lovely!” — and, apparently, Kelley won’t find out till next week. Oh, the agony of defeat.

Kelley is having a rough charter season. Captain Lee calls him in for a little chat before the next cruise. He’s not impressed with his bosun’s performance.

A new slide is delivered to the boat. Kelley has prior history with slides, none of it good.

“That slide changed me life,” Kyle says after he becomes its first casualty on the Valor. But it doesn’t slow his game with Sierra. Until he tells her he’s got a daughter, conceived in an alley trash can.

“It’s kind of a red flag,” Sierra says.

“Did you know that Kyle has a daughter?” Sierra asks Emily. Em knew.

Kate, Ben, and Kelley meet with the captain to review the upcoming charter’s preferences. The primary charter guest is going to pop the question to his girlfriend after dinner the first night.

They joke about what to do if she doesn’t say yes.

“We should have a contingency plan in case…” Captain Lee says.

Kelley decides to be “pro-active” and set up the inflatable toys without asking the guests what they want to do — like the captain instructed.

Turns out, the guests want to go snorkelling. But the pool is already inflated and in the way. The guests are watching the utter incompetence and do not look impressed.

Kelley gets all pissy because Captain Lee starts micromanaging him.

“You could f*** up a goddamn two-car funeral. It’s not that tough,” the captain says.

“We really don’t look like seasoned professional,” he says.

“Wonder what the return policy is,” one of the guests jokes.

“I’ve worked on big boats and I’ve never really seen such a shit show,” Nico says after they cast off without one of the guests.

Nobody’s happy about having to put away a pool the guests didn’t ask for — Kelley’s losing the support of his crew.

Best line of the night was Ben talking about Kate’s girlfriend.

“I like women as well, I don’t blame her to be honest. I would be a big, big lesbian, given the chance,” Ben proclaims. Sounds like my husband.

Worst offense of the night was Kate trying on the primary charter guest’s about-to-be-given engagement ring, right before he popped the question.

Does anybody else feel that was a little violating? Maybe it’s the wedding planner in me, but it doesn’t belong on anybody else’s hand that day. #Classless

This week, Kate will tell Sierra she needs to date Kyle because he is the “British Ryan Gosling”. Yep, that’s about all that was interesting in the teaser. And thus concludes the shortest reality blog I’ve ever written, due to lack of interesting material.

Below Deck airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.


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