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Below Deck Mediterranean recap: The Captain Sandy has her eye on Chef Adam edition

Captain Sandy has to watch everything Chef Adam does because he’s isn’t trustworthy

Chief Stew Hannah and Chef Adam are at each other’s throats on Below Deck Mediterranean, and Hannah’s winning.

She tattles to Captain Sandy about Adam wearing his hat and apron on deck to talk to the guests.

“I don’t know what’s going on with Adam and Hannah. But Hannah needs to wear his f**king uniform,” Captain Sandy says.

She’s told him to clean up his act (and wear his uniform) two charters in a row.

Captain Sandy agrees with Hannah that Chef Adam needs to up his game

Instead of upping his game, Adam’s still throwing himself at Malia.

He bakes for the guests, and delivers warm cookies to Malia during her nap, because he hasn’t given up on that yet.

Meanwhile, Adam’s talking s**t about Hannah to anybody who will listen. And they all want to listen.

We’re learning just how bored yachties get by how they’ve grabbed onto this little thing and made it such a HUGE drama.

Adam’s feeling emboldened by the knowledge that Hannah screwed up by crossing the line with their primary charter guests on the last charter, and he tells Hannah that she’s got no room to give him a hard time after her antics with Jason.

The current clients own a tequila company, and there’s a tequila pairing dinner.

Adam wants Bugsy to do the service. He’s trying to make Hannah’s life miserable, and it’s working.

Hannah struggles to pull a menu out of Chef Adam, because he’s never done a tequila pairing before

“I’ve never done a tequila pairing before,” Adam admits.

But he can make Mexican food, so that’s enough expertise, right?

Meanwhile, Malia is trying to make time with Adam’s much-nicer-guy roommate Wes.

“We doesn’t know that Adam and I knew each other before,” Malia says in interview.

Hannah sees another opportunity to embarrass Adam with the captain, and she snags it.

“Cookies for me are snacks, not dessert,” Hannah tells the captain.

Max listens in as Hannah tells Captain Sandy that Chef Adam’s food isn’t impressive

Unfortunately for Hannah, Max is listening in on every word.

“I’d really like to start putting down food that I’m really excited to serve,” Hannah says

The captain agrees.

Max rats out what he overheard to the deck crew.

“I don’t think any guests are complaining,” Max says.

“I’m so tired of her,” Malia says.

Then Max tells Adam what Hannah said.

“I’m having the hardest time with Hannah. It’s just non-stop,” Adam responds calmly. Which is good since it’s the middle of dinner service.

Bugsy doesn’t think it’s fair the captain is making her take late service because Hannah can’t be trusted.

Max tries to recruit Lauren to the Hannah Haters team, but she’s not throwing her roomie under the bus.

Lauren tells Max she’s not upset with Hannah, and that her hookup improved their tip.

“Hannah Hefner, who’d have thought it?” Max says. Ouch. But funny.

Hannah goes out for a ciggie with Lauren, and the Chief Stew says they’re going to war – everybody has to pick their sides.

“We should be giving guests a Med experience and we’re not,” Hannah says, complaining about Adam’s food again.

The s**t is going to hit the fan – it’s all a matter of when.

The tequila dinner goes well, not that anybody would have known if it hadn’t. The primary charter guest gets so trashed that she doesn’t even make sense. Pretty funny, though.

The primary charter guest gets so drunk that she didn’t even know what she was eating

Up on night watch on the bridge, Wes asks Malia for some alone time, and she rejects him. Poor guy. But he gets some smooches in.

After taking the night to get even bitterer, Adam confronts Hannah during breakfast service.

“You seem to like to stir s**t,” Adam says.

He tells her she’s losing all her friends.

“These aren’t my friends. These are my work colleagues,” Hannah says.

Hannah isn’t worried about the opinions of her crewmates

“Cutthroat Hannah,” Adam snarks.

She says she’s drowning in boredom from all the soup she’s served because Adam gives all the guests the same menu over and over.

“I’m just used to a different standard I guess,” Hannah hits back.

The primary wakes up and drinks more tequila for breakfast. She’s a pro.

They leave a big tip when they depart, and the captain tells the crew the next charter won’t be so easy.

The guests want to be picked up at their hotel.

“They wanted the yacht brought to them,” Captain Sandy says these guests are setting a standard for what they expect. Meanwhile, below deck, her crew is dividing into sides.

“Don’t associate yourself with anything that’s going on,” Bugsy counsels Lauren, like a perfect hypocrite. She started the iPad drama.

The captain asks Wes who he would choose for his second in command.

He says it won’t be Max, and that he’s not confident in Bobby, but Malia is very new. He fails to mention that he’s hooking up with Malia.

He’s afraid his choice will “rock the boat.”

The crew goes ashore for dinner by the hotel where they’re picking up the guests in the morning.

Is it EVER a good idea for Below Deck crews to socialize with alcohol? Eight of a 10 times it doesn’t end up well.

As they’re having cocktails, Hannah gets a message from Jason, the charter guest about whom #iPadGate is centered.

She shows it to everybody. To make a point about their need to read her messages.

Then Bobby says they were just pranking her, and she flips.

Hannah flips when Bobby tells her iPadGate was just supposed to be a prank

“Why were you reading a primary charter guest’s messages?” Hannah asks.

“This is bulls**t,” Hannah says.

Max tells her she shouldn’t be messaging with a guest.

“Hold on a minute, you’re the one that messed up,” Max says.

Hannah bugs out early, but tells Lauren she should stay.

Hannah bails out on the crew dinner and goes back to the boat, feeling done with the season

Hannah says she’s over this charter season.

Captain Sandy calls in Hannah, Adam and Wes for a preference meeting about the new clients.

The new charter guests are bringing their realtor and yacht broker along, and the captain is freaked.

Captain Sandy says the yacht broker knows her, and will have her under a microscope.

The captain calls Adam aside for a meeting, and tells him that she wants to see his very best.

“I’m just trying to redeem myself with Sandy, and I’m right back in the hot seat. Thanks Hannah,” Adam complains.

Gee, Adam. Maybe you should have served something a little more sophisticated than cookies for tens of thousands of dollars a day.

Hannah pulls Bugsy aside for a chat.

Bugsy’s stink face is getting a little old with Chief Stew Hannah

She tells her number two that they have to get it together for these guests. And she tells Bugsy that she wasn’t messaging with Jason while he was aboard.

Bugsy totally doesn’t believe her. But she fakes it.

“Let’s hug it out,” Bugsy says. Such a hypocrite.

Hannah should worry about a knife in her back during that hug!

“It’s my reputation on the line,” Captain Sandy says, worried about their new arrivals.

Captain Sandy is freaked out by the yacht broker joining the new charter guests

“Oh my God, the pressure’s on with this one,” the captain jokes as they arrive.

Captain Sandy tells the charter guests she’s going to make their “wildest dreams come true.”

Seriously?

Captain Sandy tells their new guests she’s going to make their “wildest dreams come true”

In interview, Wes agonizes over whom to promote to his second.

“Malia wants to know everything. And you have to give it to somebody who wants to go farther,” Wes says.

“You can’t tell me that she’s not the right decision,” he says.

I call bulls**t.

“Bobby is a good worker. But if you don’t tell him what to do, he’s stuck,” Wes says.

Bobby has noticed Wes giving Malia extra attention when they’re working.

“I want to move up and be a captain… the fact that you’re playing favorites right now is f**king bulls**t,” Bobby says.

Everybody is walking on eggshells with the new guests.

“The charter broker is picking up on everything,” Hannah says.

Captain Sandy hovers in the kitchen while Adam preps. She sooo doesn’t trust him. Good move.

The broker asks Hannah if the dessert – a watermelon granita – was from a box. That can’t be good.

“It’s from an actual watermelon,” Hannah assures her.

Wes tells Malia that Captain Sandy told him to rank the deckhands

Wes makes the rookie mistake of telling Malia about Captain Sandy asking him to rate the crew. Dude is thinking with his little head.

Then, Malia tells Bobby about Wes rating the deck crew. This just shows her immaturity. You never talk with your colleagues about potential promotions or raises. Jeez.

But before Bobby can flip his lid about that, Max tells Bobby and Wes that Hannah kissed Jason, and that’s why Bugsy is on lates.

Max is such a little s**t-stirrer.

Next week, Captain Sandy actually makes Wes choose the best deckhand to promote.

And something blows up with the charter guests.

“It’s such a bizarre scenario for a guest to walk out mid-charter,” Hannah says.

And Adam’s had enough of Malia swapping spit with every guy who will hold still.

“How do you sleep at night?” Adam asks.

Things we’re left wondering

Is Wes really dumb enough to promote Malia when everybody on his crew knows that he wants a relationship with her?

Does Bugsy realize what a two-faced hypocrite she looks like on this show? She keeps tweeting that she doesn’t believe in apologizing for the things she does. That must make for an interesting life.

Why would Chef Adam continue to break the uniform rules when he knows he’s already in trouble?

Below Deck Mediterranean airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.

Sandy Malone is a reality TV star, expert wedding planner, and internationally-syndicated columnist for Conde Nast's BRIDES and The Huffington Post, in addition to Monsters... read more
Sandy Malone


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