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Dance Moms recap: The Abby Lee goes out with a BANG edition

Abby Lee hugging her team goodbye after they win Nationals.

The way everybody’s talking during this season’s finale, you’d think Abby Lee’s incarceration was a foregone conclusion. Everything was about it being “the last time.” Maybe it was.

The originals are nostalgic being back in Pittsburgh at the old dance studio. Abby’s weepy.

She skips doing a pyramid, and doesn’t flip when Jill tells her about Kendall’s video launch party on Saturday evening before the big competition.

Abby starts boohooing, and the OG moms give her a pep talk, but in interview, all the moms are speculating about whether Abby’s going to jail. Most of them seem to think she is.

Abby Lee was in tears for most of the two-part finale.

The Nationals are in Asbury Park, New Jersey. And the Candy Apples, who beat them last year, will be there led by the evil Cathy, a troll if I’ve ever seen one. I just cannot stand that woman.

“If she goes to jail, what would be a better send-off to jail, than if she lost two years in a row,” Cathy says. She’s a witch.

Abby announces who’ll be dancing at Nationals, and there’s the weekly screaming fit by the moms about how unfair it is.

The minis, Kalani and Brynn get solos. All five older girls will be dancing the group dance. Maesi isn’t dancing, and as usual, her mom’s a lot more upset than her daughter.

Jill and Holly go ballistic because their daughters aren’t dancing and Abby turns it around on them.

“Kendall, you have a song coming out. Do you need a big social media blast about being second? About being third?” Abby asks.

“It would have been nice, for closure,” Nia says.

“I agree. But maybe this isn’t the end for the two of us,” Abby says. She isn’t dying. And Martha Stewart was popular in jail. Abby will be, too.

“Probably not,” Nia agrees, looking embarrassed.

So the group dance is a hot mess because Abby planned around a cancer theme, forgetting she’d done that one before. After the moms point it out, she sorta freaks.

“She has just thrown in the towel,” Holly says. Always so fatalistic.

“Abby has had months to plan for nationals, and here her big idea is another dance about cancer,” Jill snarks.

Rehearsal starts and Abby reveals that Lili will be dancing to a song her father recorded for her.

Yolanda and Jaime complain it’s an unfair advantage, which is weird because Maesi isn’t even competing at nationals. Jaime has no skin in the game. She just likes to stir the pot.

Abby gets it together and choreographs a number called “Is there still hope?” for the group dance. The girls are playing druggies and hoes. Perfect.

“Let’s go out with a bang,” Abby says. See, there’s that finality again.

Kendall’s video premiere goes really well. Jill sure has a lot of facetime in it. Interesting.

Abby’s turns Kendall’s big moment into a merchandizing opportunity by selling ALDC t-shirts at the venue. Kinda tacky.

After watching the video and the happy crowd cheering Kendall on, Abby’s sad.

“Every great star that I have made leaves. That’s what they do,” Abby complains to Jaime.

Abby does a lot of reminiscing, and regretting in her interviews for this episode.

“These last five years have been fun, exciting, victorious. It’s a very passionate vocation to go into. You would think after all these years I could take it easy. I could just go lie on a beach somewhere. But nope,” Abby wants a team that will go down in history.

“It seems fitting that if I end up in prison, it’s where it might end,” Abby says.

Predictably, all the warm feelings get blown right out of the window when the Candy Apples moms crash ALDC’s rehearsal at the competition venue.

Cathy stalks through ALDC’s rehearsal and knocks over the big ALDC sign. A typical screaming match ensues.

“Get used to that smack talk cuz you’re going to have a lot of that in jail,” Cathy yells at Abby.

Despite the pre-competition chaos (they’re use to it), the girls kick butt on the stage.

Brynn’s solo was gorgeous. Kalani’s costume looked like naughty lingerie, but her solo was mind-blowing. The minis were both cute. I think Lili was better (and the judges agreed with me).

We didn’t see any Candy Apple solos. But their group routine about human trafficking was really, really good. Just not good enough.

Abby Lee Dance Company wins first place in the junior group routine at Nationals. Candy Apples take fourth. #Ouch!

Kalani and Brynn took first and third, respectively, for their solos.

Lili took first and Elliana took second, with only 1/10th of a point between them.

“They take that rivalry, and turn it into a positive for themselves,” Abby says.

After their loss, predictably, the Candy Apples pick a fight with the ALDC moms, again. But ALDC just won, and ain’t nobody gonna bring them down.

Abby gets in Cathy’s face, making fun of her.

“Get your fat ass out of my face,” Cathy screeches.

And Abby turns and wiggles her butt in Cathy’s face. Hilarious.

Two minutes later, the Candy Apples dance troupe implodes when Jeannette challenges Cathy for attacking some of the ALDC kids, and Cathy tells Jeannette she and Ava aren’t wanted there anyway. WTF?

Back with the winners, it’s all love and emotion for Abby with the girls. She doesn’t even mention Brynn’s fourth place.

Abby thanks the girls, profusely, for their hard work. It’s a weepy goodbye. There’s a big group hug.

“I’ve never been so in love with my team before,” Kalani says. Everybody’s crying.

In interview, Abby talks about how she’s an only child with no family, and the girls are her family. Her future is “scary.”

“They’re my kids. And sometimes it feels like that’s all I’ve got,” Abby says.

After Abby leaves, a blast-from-the-past pops in to congratulate the team.

Former teammate Chloe Lukasiak announces she may want to return to the team.

Former teammate Chloe Lukasiak and her mom Christi surprise everybody by having come to watch them compete. Everybody is thrilled to see them.

Chloe announces that she wants to start competing again. And they’re considering ALDC. That means somebody’s assuming Abby won’t be there.

Supposedly, they’re already filming a Season 7B. After this Friday, we’ll know whether Abby will be appearing on future seasons.

Talk about limbo!

Things we’re left wondering

Why was Stacey being so snarky about the minis being the future of ALDC, when we don’t know if Abby will be out of jail anytime in the near future?

Why are the Candy Apples allowed to crash the ALDC dressing room so often? Don’t competitions have any guidelines? Or do they ignore them for production’s sake?

Will Abby Lee be sentenced to prison time at her hearing this Friday, February 24th?

Dance Moms airs on Tuesdays at 9/8 c on Lifetime.

Sandy Malone is a reality TV star, expert wedding planner, and internationally-syndicated columnist for Conde Nast's BRIDES and The Huffington Post, in addition to Monsters... read more
Sandy Malone

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