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The 10 worst Eurovision songs ever

Czech Republic's Gypsy.cz singing Aven Romale in 2009
Czech Republic’s Gypsy.cz singing Aven Romale in 2009

The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual spectacle that fascinates and bamboozles in equal measure. Every year, the bizarre spectacle is watched by millions around the world and, every year, millions say they will never watch it again. But they always do.

Why? Because of the endless array of weird and wonderful acts it attracts!

Here are probably the ten worst Eurovision songs ever, in order of the year they appeared.

10 Norway’s Jahn Teigan singing Mil Etter Mil in 1978

Jan Teigan is a big star in Norway and the country had high hopes for this song. There was a large backing orchestra in evening dress and Teigan came on in bright red trousers with braces which he twanged at various points in the song,a striped shirt and a large gold rose. His over the top singing made it almost comical but it was his weird antics on stage in between singing that sealed his fate and he achieved nul points.

9 Israel’s Lazy Bums singing Shir Habatlanim in 1987

This was more like watching a comedy duo like Morecambe and Wise than watching the Eurovision Song Contest. The two men who called themselves Lazy Bums looked the part and never took their hands out of their pockets, they hummed the first few lines and added a strange couple of dance steps when they began the song. Then as each did a solo on the microphone the other did a mad,distracting dance so you forgot the song and watched him. It was funny and obviously some people liked the act as Shir Habat got 73 points and finished in 8th place.

8 Yugoslavia’s Baby Doll singing Brazil in 1991

This was when Yugoslavia was still a country in its own right and no-one could quite understand why the blonde beauty from Belgrade was singing a song about Brazil. Her backing dancers were over the top and Baby doll wore turquoise from her hair band down to her shoes. Her frilly top was very short and she had contrasting tights to go with it. The song was very repetitive and her efforts in the final only earned her one point.

7 Germany’s Guildo Horn singing Guildo Hat Euch Lieb in 1998

This extraordinary performance certainly appealed to some viewers as Guildo finished in 7th place with 84 points. His backing band was called The Orthopaedic Stockings and he flounced on stage wearing a long turquoise velvet cloak. When he shed the cloak he was wearing an even brighter turquoise
velvet suit and large frilly cuffs. His strange antics completely distracted you from the song as during his performance he played cowbells and climbed up scaffolding at the side of the stage.

6 Israel’s Ping Pong singing Sameach in 2000

This mismatched group was a bit like a combination of the Spice Girls and the Pet Shop Boys without the glamor. It was like watching a group of youngsters singing karaoke at a birthday party. Although it was a poppy tune what destroyed it as a disco dance number were the constant breaks to hum and then shout “Be Happy” as loud as they could. They were a nice bunch and you could not help feel sorry for them when they scored just seven points.

5 Iceland’s Sylvia Knight singing Congratulations in 2006

A popular comedienne in Iceland this is not the Cliff Richard song. Sylvia Knight arrived on stage by coming down a pink slide and she was dressed like a dancer in the Moulin Rouge. She had a magnificent headdress, a basque which revealed her black g-string and over the knee white boots.
She tried to be funny throughout her song but viewers obviously did not understand her acerbic sense of humor and the 62 points she received from her fans in the semi-final were not enough to get her through to the 2006 Final.

4 Ireland’s Dustin the Turkey singing Irelande Douze Points in 2008

Ireland have won the Eurovision Song Contest three times, first with Dana singing All Kinds of Everything and twice with Johnny Logan but in 2008 they completely lost the plot and never got further than the semi-final. For some reason known only to themselves they decided to enter a puppet to sing their song which referred to the other countries in the contest. Combine the puppet
singer with a mish-mash of distracting backing dancers and singers and it was no surprise they failed to make the final.

3 Czech Republic’s Gypsy.cz singing Aven Romale in 2009

This was the last time the Czech Republic entered the Eurovision Song Contest which was not surprising as they had the humiliation of scoring nul points in the semi-final. With a name like Gipsy the audience and viewers were expecting some toe-tapping gypsy music, what they got was a man dressed as a bright orange superhero who did not seem to know what style he should be singing in. It was neither funny or novel and so it appealed to neither the viewers or the audience.

2 United Kingdom’s Josh Dubovie singing That Sounds Good To Me in 2010

There was a time when the UK did well in the Eurovision Song Contest but they seem to have lost their touch. Despite entering the biggest stars to sing them the songs just have not been good enough. UK do not have to qualify, they go straight into the final as they invest so much in the competition and their below par songs stand out a mile compared to the best songs in the contest.
Even Pete Waterman who wrote this song said he did not think it was good enough to win but no-one could have predicted Josh Dubovie would come last with just ten points.

1 San Marino’s Valentina Monetta singing The Social Network Song in 2012

You cannot help feeling sorry for San Marino. They have been entering the Eurovision Song Contest since 2008 and to finish 14th in the semi-final with 31 points which was not enough to qualify for the final is the best they have done. They definitely deserve a prize for trying.Valentina Monetta has a nice voice and they thought by entering a satirical song Facebook Uh-Oh-Oh might stand them a chance. But the organizers made them change the name to the Social Network Song because of the commercial name. Viewers did not appreciate the satire and there were too many Uh and Oh Ohs to get them through.

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