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RHOBH Red Wine Recap: Delusional Diana strikes again

Diana and Sutton meet up to clear the air on last night's RHOBH, Episode 10, So You Say. Pic credit: Bravo
Diana and Sutton meet up to clear the air on last night’s RHOBH, Episode 10, So You Say. Pic credit: Bravo

Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Long recaps The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season 12, Episode 10, So You Say, with a little help from a glass of Champs (or two)…

Hello friends. Was it just me, or was last night’s RHOBH episode rather blah?

Sure, we had Kyle out there with her snow-blower and all… but it was just, rather uneventful overall.

Probably the most excitement I got from these ladies was seeing them all talk to Sutton’s Bumble match, Sanjit.

Now THAT was hilarious.

Pour yourself two extra glasses of champagne (Garcelle, I see you counting), and let’s recap.

We need more Sheree, please

Hey, Bravo. I got a question for you.

Why did you give us Diana when you could have given us Sheree?

This “friend of” Garcelle’s is something, isn’t she?

Let’s backtrack one second.

So after Erika had three glasses of champagne at Sutton’s housewarming party, when she said she’d only have one, Garcelle brings up her concerns.

Garcelle is a concerned friend who begins a rationale conversation with a receptive Erika Jayne. Pic credit: Bravo
Garcelle is a concerned friend who begins a rationale conversation with a receptive Erika Jayne. Pic credit: Bravo

“Being that you cussed out my child and proposed a threesome with my other son, maybe you shouldn’t be mixing the meds with the alcohol, Erika? Just a thought.” (I paraphrase.)

Erika seems very receptive of the level-headed Garcelle, but before Erika can even speak, we have peanut gallery Kyle and Dorit over there, chomping at the bit to defend Erika.

Kyle resorts to making faces (see above) when Garcelle brings up the meds and alcohol, prompting Garcelle to ask, “Why the face, Kyle?”

Instead of the old “it’s great to see Erika let her hair down” argument, Kyle instead hits us with this one:

Garcelle politely tells Kyle, this is an A and B conversation I’m having with Erika, Kyle, so please kindly C your way out of it.

By the time Kyle does her third dramatic face of the night, our Angel Sheree descends down from the Heavens and blesses the group with her words of wisdom.

We love a woman who speaks logic! Pic credit: Bravo
We love a woman who speaks logic! Pic credit: Bravo

Sheree explains to Kyle, “In this moment, Garcelle’s just needing you to be neutral.” Boy that silenced the room.

But Sheree proves she’s no prude and backs it up with a little, “I’d have a threesome with Oliver too, B**CH!”

Why again, Andy, is she only a “friend of?” I’ll wait.

Erika not only finally apologizes to Garcelle, but she (genuinely) compliments Garcelle’s parenting skills and scores a point with the proud mamma.

Diana and Sutton make no headway – try as Sutton might

So now that Garcelle and Erika have seemed to mend ways, it’s Sutton’s turn to try and fix things with Dirty Diana!

And she gets a pep talk from Garcelle before entering the lion’s den, aka Toscana.

Garcelle gives Sutton a pep talk before Sutton meets up with Diana. Pic credit: Bravo
Garcelle gives Sutton a pep talk before Sutton meets up with Diana. Pic credit: Bravo

The ladies hug and comment on how they brought the same bags (of all the bags in the world), and Diana opens it up with, “So, what are we doing.”

Sutton: Well, we’re going to have lunch. And talk.

Diana: *lip-lick* – We can start at the beginning. *lip-lick*

Sutton: Sure, let’s start with when you said I was clumsy with my words.

Diana: Well now I think you’re not clumsy. You’re intentional with your words.

And speaking of words, a lot of words were said, but nothing was really accomplished.

In fact, anytime Sutton tried to stick to the subject of the conversation, Diana would just throw out weird generalizations like, “I feel like I need a professional to help speak with you.”

She also said a lot of, “do you know how you sound,” after Sutton would simply say something.

What I WAS able to extract from the conversation was Diana told Sutton she is not a loyal friend and she is not genuine.

Sutton: I am genuine.

Diana: So you say. (Times that phrase by five, and you have the title for our episode.)

Sutton: I think you are delusional.

Diana: So you say. (No Diana – so WE say.)

What’s more, Diana was the one to admit she was fake with her hugs with Sutton, and are these really the words coming out of my mouth right now?!

Where’s the champagne.

I still cannot for the life of me figure out what Sutton did to Diana that was so reprehensible.

Regardless, the ladies decide to part ways and decide they will be civil when they see each other the next time around.

It will be at Kyle’s charity event where I think Diana will be giving away all of her hand-me-down designer duds to her Make A Wish kid, Erika Jayne.

‘Til next week my Housewives-Lovers!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on Bravo.

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