Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Long recaps Married at First Sight, New Orleans, Season 11, Episode 1104, What Happened Last Night, with a little help from a glass of pinot (or two) …
Greetings my MAFS-Lovers! And welcome to your weekly recap of Married at First Sight, Season 11, where we drink wine but don’t have to because this season is that entertaining on its own!
Now that all five couples of ours are married (thank the Lord we all made it!), it’s time to brunch with the in-laws! Once that is over with, we’ll have a little debriefing sesh, and then it’s off to Mexico, baby! Because it’s honeymoon time!
Got the itinerary? Good. Let’s recap.
Though we are only in episode 4, the potential strengths and weaknesses of our couples are really starting to shine through!
So I’m just gonna go ahead and take the liberty of ranking our couples from strongest to weakest thus far. And I stress … THUS FAR. Also, if you don’t agree, please blame this Mezcal I’m drinking. Or is it a Moscow mule? Oh where’s Christina when you need her.
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Bennett & Amelia: Two puzzle pieces in a pod
As Amelia’s mom told Bennett, these two really seem like two puzzle pieces in a pod. Like, it’s weird how connected they are. Now I don’t use the word “soulmates” too often–or, at least, I abandoned it long ago–but if I did, these two are it.
From their impromptu singing while removing wedding dresses and packing, to being a “carrot” in a golden nightgown, to bonding over the word “pinnacle,” these two are an absolute joy to watch.
Not surprising, brunch with the in-laws seemed like just another casual Sunday for them.
Of course, there were a few hiccups. Like when Bennett’s sister said Bennett doesn’t believe in having biological children because it’s unethical. And when Amelia’s mom pressed Bennett about his comfort level of moving if Amelia’s residency ends up in a “random place.”
But the pair handled it with ease. Yes, Bennett wants to control the people population, but if having a little bambino of his own would make wifey happy, then he’s “open” to it. Likewise, if adopting a child is in the cards, Amelia is open to that. And, speaking of children, can we just take a moment for their awesome joke before take-off?
Openness, musicality, carrot nightgowns, and humor? Do we need anything more? I think not!
And speaking of openness, do I spy one little “Ms. Reservations” Karen starting to let down some of her walls … why, I do believe I do …
Karen & Miles: A Slow Burn
Now I can’t believe I’m putting Karen and Miles ahead of Woody and Amani tonight–what with all their crazy chemistry on their wedding night and all–but Karen and Miles stepped it up tonight.
Is it possible that Woody and Amani are the ones who start with a bang and fizzle while Karen and Miles are the tiny spark that ignites? (Suddenly Brett’s dad is springing to mind.)
Of course, I started this episode wanting to shake Karen, telling her to either lighten up or at least, wake up! For the love, even when Woody and Amani came knocking on their hotel door, broomstick and diary cam in hand, Karen still couldn’t get up out of that bed.
But God love Miles. First of all, he fell asleep rubbing her feet. Second, he didn’t forget to give her a Ricola, per sister’s instructions. Finally, we learn that he took out all her bobby pins before bedtime. This patience and attention is just what Karen needs.
Thank goodness these actions did not fall on deaf ears for Clair Huxtable, I mean, Karen’s mom. (Kudos to the person who pointed out the strong similarities in their voices and demeanors!)
By the end of brunch, Karen’s mom went from “I don’t believe in this process” and “this is insanity, Karen” to being Miles’s biggest fan: “Miles, if Karen doesn’t like you, I think I’m gonna have a talk with her.” Did I even hear her call him “Sweetie”!?! Thank God mamma has finally seen the light! She is all we need in our back corner.
And speaking of moms, Karen’s meeting with Miles’s mom went something like this: *Karen pouring creamer into her coffee*, Miles’s mom: “How do you feel about submission?”
Get your minds out of the gutter, guys. We aren’t talking S&M here. And, for the record, Karen prefers Miles be the head of household … just as long as she’s the neck. (Something both mamma bear and Karen could agree on!) So we have that going for us too.
The next day, and possibly in one of my favorite moments of the episode for some reason, Karen pulls out this look:
And I freaking love it. Not only does she look drop-dead gorgeous in these braids, but she is subtly showing Miles a whole new side to her. And, I’m sorry, but was she also flirting a little and having fun under that big floppy hat at the airport?
I see you, Karen. Don’t think I don’t.
Then, in Mexico, Karen recounts all the food she ate: I had potatoes, shrimp, baby potatoes, potatoes with the herbs on it, Bubba Gump shrimp … and Miles loves this. She is retaining just enough mystery and staying feminine but is giving him just enough, which, thank GOD, included her phone number. If she didn’t do that, these two wouldn’t have been at this number two slot.
Because though I spy a few cracks, Woody and Amani are still riding high!
Woody & Amani: The Randall Way
Olivia & Brett: It’s fine. Just fine.
And now for the rest. You guys, nothing is particularly wrong about Olivia and Brett. It’s just that there’s nothing too exciting either. Olivia seems like she got straight A’s in school, and this marriage is no different for her. She is going to get an “A” in marriage too if it’s the last thing she does! God love her.
To my dismay, she continues to lead the conversation, but Brett continues to appreciate her “femininity” and let us not forget … GRACE(!). So who am I to criticize as I sip this Mezcal … the two genuinely seem to be getting along just fine… as in, fine. Like mediocre. Fine.
One puzzling thing though: Brett’s parents have yet to make an appearance since the premiere. For the brunch, Olivia was stuck with the basic dude crew again. No mention of his parents since he told her they don’t like being on camera.
Yet during their little post-brunch chat, Olivia and Brett marveled at how “well it’s going with their parents.” Just an observation, but could this foreshadow a potential inability of Brett to go deep? Man, I’m either a genius or this Mezcal is messing with my head!
In Cancun, the vanilla wafers are looking forward to laying in their comfy bed and might even do a “cheesy dinner” on the beach while Brett wears his “cheesy” Hawaiian shirt.
To each their own, but it’s times like these I am so grateful we have clever characters such as Amelia and Bennett to deliver us from mediocrity. Well that, and this Mezcal I’m starting to grow very fond of.
Christina & Henry: A new passport stamp can’t save you now
Okay, you guys, I’m really trying here to go with Henry, but … yeah … um, yeah …
I honestly think Christina is trying here! She’s jovial with the folks. She looks forward to breaking Henry out of his shell and showing him foreign countries. In fact, best thing about Henry so far? That his friends like her!
Misguided though she may be, I think Christina so desperately wants a husband–she’s willing to believe anything right now! How long can she watch Henry awkwardly pick at rose petals on the bed or endure one-word answers?
Sadly, Henry’s awkwardness might be a byproduct of dad (which don’t get me started), but we are going to need more here if this relationship has a fighting chance.
Even with her family, Henry continued the awkward silence …
Christina’s Aunt: “Christina’s love language is communication.”
Mom: “Yes, you need to be transparent.”
Drunk Me: “Hang on there, mom. We are on step 1. Communication. As in, you actually have to have words coming out your dang mouth.”
I mean, what am I missing here? How does Henry have a gaggle of loud female friends and shake it off at T. Swiftie concerts when this is all we’re getting here? It seems as though Christina is just going to resign herself to making Henry her little project and will corrupt him with culture.
But his “first meal in Mexico” and “first stamp on his passport” is going to lose its luster quick. Like real quick. As in, it already died the minute he took a second bite of his taco.
We shall see, but I can’t say I’m optimistic about this pair. For the rest, I remain hopeful! I’m now off to become a cocoon in the largest sized nightgown I can find. After all this Mezcal, it just sounds like a good time. Til next week, my MAFS-Lovers!
Married at First Sight airs on Wednesdays at 8/7c on Lifetime.
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