Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Long recaps the premiere of Married at First Sight, New Orleans, Season 11, Episode 1101 with a little help from a glass of pinot (or two) …
Welcome to the premiere episode recap of Married at First Sight, my MAFS-lovers! This episode is called “The Story Begins” and indeed it did! You guys, I haven’t been this excited for a MAFS season in quite some time. The two hours were jam-packed with such colorful characters at every turn, and we haven’t even gotten to the weddins’ yet! I mean even the friends were dynamic and exciting! Oh so much to recap.
Let’s begin with the cast of delicious characters, shall we?
But first, allow me to introduce myself. My name’s Liz. I’m your resident MAFS recapper, and normally I like wine with my recaps. But tonight, it’s hurricanes! We are in New Orleans, after all!
So let’s go, baby!
ROLL CALL FOR MAFS, SEASON 11: Meet the Five New Couples
Up first, we meet a couple unlike any we have ever seen on this show. They are:
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Bennett “The Romantic Thespian” and Amelia “The Driven Dreamer”
Okay, you guys. I admit that, at first, I wasn’t so sure about these two.
We have Bennett, who can go from nerd in a mustard ball cap and glasses to a strange sort of handsome real quick. He drives a pedicab bike thing, moonlights as a thespian, and is a self-proclaimed “weirdo.” But, I gotta say, by the end of this episode, when he showed that he can hang with Miles and Woody (I’ll get to them in a second) and dance with strippers (in the most innocent way possible), he had my heart.
Bennett’s future wife is Amelia. She rides unicycles, walks on tight-ropes in her backyard, plays harmonicas, drinks what I presume is craft beer, and uses words like “ethos.” But she, like Bennett, showed that she can hang at bachelorette parties with her new group of “sister wives” and not take herself too seriously. And because she’s Bennett’s match, that’s nothing but a plus.
All in for Bennett and Amelia? Say Ay! Ay.
Next up, we have:
Karen “Ms. Reservations” and Miles “Mr. Young and Ready”
For pretty much the whole episode, I kept thinking, “this is a great match.” They’re both grounded and seem to be taking this experiment seriously.
But dang it if this isn’t the couple who also is about to face trouble before Karen even walks down the aisle. Apparently, as we learn at the very end of the episode, someone “accidentally” sent Karen a text message leaking Miles’s identity! His name, his job, everything. She even watched “ALL his IG stories.”
Of course, I question the “accidental” nature of this text, but, regardless, this is where we are. In the first time in MAFS history, a bride knows who her husband is before she meets him! (The insanity!)
What’s worse, Karen doesn’t like what she saw! (The insanity!) She found him “too emotional!”
Karen, repeat after me: MILES IS A CATCH. He is a MAN in every sense of the word. He works with kids, facetimes his “granddaddy and mimi”, and is cute to boot! Did I mention athletic and has two degrees? Oh, yeah, he is also the missing member of Boys II Men. So you slap on that veil and smile girl. You WILL do this.
If Auntie Liz here needs to shove you down the aisle. You. Will. Do. This.
Lawd, that took a lot out of me. I need another hurricane.
Moving on …
Amani “Ms. Calm, Cool & Collected” and Woody “Mr. Life of the Party”
I have to talk about Woody next because, get this, Miles and Woody are BFFs. (Another MAFS first, I believe.) Normally, something like this would bug me for no good reason. But being that Miles and Woody really liven up the show (and the party), I’ll take them. They are a double dose of fun, not to mention, extremely likable.
However, I’m not sure if Amani and Woody are a good match. Woody is definitely the life of the party. He wears wide-brimmed hats and embroidered blazers without an undershirt, after all. But Amani sews. And she sews. And sews some more. Okay, so she likes to slap on a pair of heels and hit the town every so often, but, yeah. I can’t say I’m feelin’ this couple.
Honestly, I think Woody might have been better suited for Amani’s friend who made a couple cameos!
But we shall see what lies in store for this Omar Epps look-a-like and Ms. Calm, Cool and Collected. Regardless, it’s nice having Mr. Life of the Party on the show.
Okay, let’s just get to the one who we are all going to love to hate …. It’s:
Brett “The Serial Dater” and Olivia “Ms. Sugar and Spice”!
I seriously sighed as I typed his name, you guys. Last year, we had Zach Justice. This year, we have Brett.
Let’s just count how many women the soon-to-be-GROOM hit on this episode:
There was the waitress. There was the sister Bennett simply talked about. And, of course, there was Henry’s attractive female friend. That’s three in ONE episode. Like seriously, I’m surprised he didn’t hit on the bridal shop lady. You know, the one who helped out like almost every single bride and groom?
Yeah. That one.
Oh, Brett. Where to begin. I suppose we could start with his introduction of himself. How did it go, again, Brett?
“I’m a jack of all trades. I’m into self-enrichment. I just started ‘stackin’ em up’ after my failed engagement.”
What was he stackin’ up, you ask? What else. Women. And now we are supposed to believe he is ready for marriage because he doesn’t want to hang with brother Rory at family functions anymore. (Three cheers for Rory, by the way.) (And, yeah, two cheers for Brett’s joke about Rory’s intervention. Sorry. But it was funny.)
Come ON, experts! Now I love me some Pastor Cal, Dr. Pepper, and Dr. Bibiana, but WHY are we putting this guy on the show? Did we not learn anything from Luke and Kate? Or even Zatch and Mindy from our MAFS seasons’ pasts?!
Poor Olivia. She does not deserve this. By the way, Olivia is the “lucky” girl the experts chose for Brett. She is not the most dynamic character on the show, but she does like to karaoke to Lil’ Wayne, so I guess that counts for something? She’s totally sweet and “normal” and definitely doesn’t deserve to be married at first sight to this jack-hole. I mean, jack of all trades.
And, finally, we have …
Christina “The Princess Bride” and Henry “The Reserved Gentleman”
Okay, so Henry is shy and reserved and has no confidence, but he seems like such a good dude. He also proved he can have a little fun (strippers with Woody, anyone?!). I gotta say, though, I don’t see it (right now) with his match Christina.
Not just because she didn’t have fun at the bachelorette party, but, well … okay. It was because she was the only one not having fun at the bachelorette party.
It’s a total premature judgment of mine, so I’ll give it time. I’m just a little worried she might be a little too much for Henry to handle.
On the other hand, opposites can attract and she could use a nice guy in her life. I’m not going to fault her emotional-ness (it’s a word) or even moodiness. I’m just worried she might not give nice-guy Henry a chance. But I’m rootin’ for her–for them–and am hoping she’ll allow him to be her knight in shining armor.
So make that eye contact, Henry, and don’t be afraid to challenge her or buy her exotic flowers!
I don’t know why that turned into a pep talk, guys, but it did. I blame the hurricanes.
What can I say, New Orleans can do crazy things to a person. Right, Bennett’s amazing friend?
One thing is for sure: This season is so not boring, and I love it!
So let’s go, guys! Next week, we say “I do.” Or “I don’t” as might be the case with Karen and Miles. Oh, who are we kidding? You know they’ll all be saying “I do.” And I do too. To Season 11!
So that does it, folks! Who is your favorite couple? Who do you think has the best chance of going the distance? What about Miles’s and Bennett’s potential bromance? And should Olivia run for the hills? Til next week, my MAFS-lovers!
Married at First Sight airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. on Lifetime.