Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Long recaps 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way, Season 2, Episode 14, The Truth Hurts, with a little help from a glass of pinot (or two) …
Hi 90-day lovers. I hope you don’t mind, I’ve already drank about half a bottle of week-old pinot. The screen is a little blurry. But it will probably beat what I’m about to watch.
Because lo and behold, I’ve read the blurb for this week’s episode … and it looks like we’ve had about an inch-worth of progress: “Elicia doesn’t want to leave Korea without Deavan” … “Ari hits a breaking point” … and “Brittany continues to lie to Yazan.” In the words of Selena Gomez, “tell me tell me tell me something I don’t know!”
At this point, I’m wondering how good Cheesestick’s face will look on my dartboard. Too harsh? Ah, I’m already drunk, kids. So sue me.
Jenny & Sumit: More than friends
The headway we’ve made with Sumit: “parents have agreed to talk.” The end of the episode: Sumit is walking toward his parent’s house for said talk.
Oh yeah, we also learn that Jenny lived above Sumit’s parents for about four months where Sumit snuck upstairs for them to have what I presume to be sexy time …. aaaaaaaaaand that’s about enough of that.
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Except here’s an interesting little tidbit: Jenny and Sahna were actually friends! Well, until Sahna realized Jenny actually came to India for a little boom-boom action with Sumit “in the nighttime.” And, now, they don’t like her. So good luck with that talk, Sumit!
Deavan & Jihoon: The dramatics are almost over!
Guys, do we really have to see Elicia still in Korea? Oh she’s headed home today!? Okay. One more week til’ we are FREE from the dramatics!
As Elicia and Deavan drink out of their respective pee cups, Elicia finds a way to work in the drama as she goes on about some train metaphor:
“I feel like you all just got on a train, and there’s a bridge waiting to collapse. And I see it, and the train will fall off the bridge” …
Meanwhile, I’m sort of wishing I was on that train if I’m going to hear a minute more of this self-indulgent metaphor! And don’t even get me started on how Elicia is still pausing after every word. Silly me, here I thought that was reserved for Jihoon and family to better understand them rather than for dramatic flare.
Elicia is leaving in 12 minutes, I’m wondering if I can down this wine by then, and just in case we couldn’t be any more dramatic, Elicia tells Deavan to “BE BOLD.” Is that a line from Braveheart or … nope wait. I’m living in Elicia-land. Give the nana a hug, kids, and let her go on her way.
Jihoon, I didn’t know you were so funny! (I feel you, my brother.)
Ari & Bibi: I’m not “construction,” but I’m logical.
Okay, guys. I know I’m tipsy here and all and am squinting at the TV, but is that Bibi wearing a pink shower cap on his head?!?
What is going on.
Ari questions whether she should stay in Ethiopia, to which Bibi gives this mixed, blah-zeh message: “You have good hospitals there .. you want to be with your family … things will be way better there in the U.S. than it is here … but Ari, stay. It’s working.”
Call me crazy – but it feels like if Ari did decide to go home, Bibi might feel a moment’s sadness, and then he’d go right back to banging on butts in the club.
The only thing that might be keeping Ari in Ethiopia at this point is the fact that she found a new apartment that looks like the freaking Ritz in comparison to the dump Bibi has proposed. Who cares if it’s $1400 a month. It has wi-fi … a marble backsplash. And Bibi, shut your mouth. It is expensive. But by God, it has a toilet! If Ari is going to be alone while you work in da’ club, I think she needs to be in a place where she’s not going number two over a hole in the ground for petey’s sake!
Nice apartments aside, it seems as if Ari’s pregnancy hormones have gotten the best of her. She is homesick. Bibi has checked out. And the uber driver is wishing to God he didn’t pick up this last shift. (In the words of Elicia, be bold, my brother. It will all be over soon.)
Kenny & Armando: From two daughters to the next
Taylor and Cassidy are leaving and can we just give it up for these two fashionistas: they are awesome!!
As they say their goodbyes to their dad and Armando, they put aside any selfish needs most people might feel and say this beautiful statement: “Now you got a new little daughter that needs a new mother. Take what you’ve given us and give it to Hannah.” O.M.G. Bless these beautiful souls.
Please go rub some of that amazing plaid blazer and striped jumper of awesome support off on Armando’s family! Doooooon’t gooooo Taylor and Cassidy! We neeeeeeeed you!
Now we just have to get through this four-hour drive of wondering how Armando’s family will react and, yes, that is Truffles in the backseat wearing a seatbelt! Again. O.M.G. Sometimes I simply cannot take the cuteness that exists over there in Mexico.
Brittany & Yazan: Chicago-bound or bust!
Meanwhile, in Jordan, fresh-faced Brittany just received emergency news that her divorce hearing is in three days, so she’s off! Of course, she can’t tell Yazan this and instead covers it up with this half-truth: “I’m going home because sis is having a baby.” Well now that is seriously an amazingly convenient excuse for our Brittany Banks! Looks like she might just pull this lie off after all! [Just one little detail, Ms. Banks. This whole thing is being filmed, and … oh, nevermind. You do you, Brit.]
Tim & Melyza: Cheesestick sacrificed something
Last but not …. yeah, I can’t go there.
You guys know I am a fan of Melyza’s fashion sense, and tonight, she graciously color-coordinated her outfit to match the oblea-shop. I mean, we have to look at the positives here with this couple.
Afterall, Cheesestick just bombed at the unemployment office, and now Melyza is about to tell him that marrying him is the last thing on her to-do list. Realizing he’s not likely to secure that work Visa, Tim is happy he’s had one foot in Columbia and the other back in Texas. You see, he still has a job there! I suppose this is the “bomb” that Tim was to drop on Melyza tonight and color me shocked … I’m knocked over in disbelief! Ah, who are we kidding. I’m knocked over from the wine and I have no regrets. I mean, seriously, is anyone invested in this couple?
Next time, Deavan wonders if Jihoon cheated on her, Armando’s dad avoids even seeing Armando and Kenny, Yazan yells over facetime, and my God, Jenny and Sumit have one more conversation about Sumit’s family. What’s more, Ari has to deliver her baby … like immediately, and I’m immediately going to pass out.
90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way airs Monday nights at 9/8c on TLC.