Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Long recaps 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, Season 2, Episode 6 with a little help from a glass of pinot (or two) …
Jenny wants THE PAPERS, Ari wants the dreads back, and Hannah just wants her two dads already. Let’s dive right in to the 90 Day The Other Way, Red Wine Recap, shall we?
That’s right my friends. My name’s Liz. And I’ll be your residential recapper for 90 Day here. And while I first felt a little out of my element, having only lived in Bachelor Nation and American Idol for past recaps, I gotta say, I’m happy to be here. I hope you’ll welcome me to this foreign land, just like Hannah is welcoming of her beloved Kenny. (My Heart = Officially Melted.)
Oh, and one other thing you should know: I like wine with my viewings. Copious amounts of it, in fact. So let’s do this.
This Very Sucks: Jihoon and Deavan
Oh, Jihoon. You should have spent less time on those feathered locks of yours and more time on investigating that there apartment Deavan picked out for you. It’s not pretty my friends. In fact, it’s downright … oh how do you say … let me consult the egg real quick.
Hey, cool little egg translator thing. What’s the word for S**t hole? Oh. It’s S**t hole? Okay. Glad we’re on the same page.
Seriously, guys. How about that conversation through the egg. Were you glued to your TV too just wondering if it was going to translate right? Ah-mazing.
When it’s all “said” and done, Deavan threatens to leave Jihoon and his multitude of salmon-colored shirts if he doesn’t start manning up financially.
Jihoon is left bewildered. Deavan is left befuddled. And I, Lizzie, am left downright entertained. By the way, can someone grab a bar of soap for Deavan’s mom, already?! Crikey.
Let’s get some sweetness up in here already! Armando!! Calling Armando!!!
My Two Dads: Armando, Hannah, and Kenny
DISCLAIMER: After binge-watching this season for the past two days, I have to share … I have been silently weeping in my bedroom every time Armando and Kenny have come across my screen and interacted with their families. And I mean, Every. Single. Time.
In fact, my little yorkie, Mojo, lifts an eyebrow each time I weep and walks over to me for comfort, but it’s really no use. This couple is going to get me every time, I just know it.
So let’s go ahead and feature little Hannah and her perfectly placed sparkly bows this episode, shall we? Because I really needed to see how Hannah is (like for real) so excited for Kenny to come live with her.
Cue this comment:
Aaaaaaaand I’m done.
But dangit if little Coop doesn’t creep into my mind every time I find myself dripping with excited anticipation at the thought of Kenny and Armando finally uniting in Mexico. As much as I dream of this day, I can’t help but think of Kenny’s farewell with his blonde-headed crew and sis saying “because we won’t see Grampy anymore.” Ummmmm, couldn’t we have softened that blow a little, sis? It felt so … so … final.
I’ll just keep in step with Hannah … one more week girl until your room is ready and you can go live with your two dads and Truffles the chihuahua. Kenny and Truffles are almost through Texas and will be there soon!
By the way, guys, room for one Lizzie?
(It was worth a shot.)
SHOW ME THE PAPERS!: Jenny and Sumit
Jenny and Sumit awaken in their new place (which is actually lookin’ quite good in comparison to the others), and our dirty thoughts are immediately answered: No magic happened the first night in India.
That’s okay. Let’s go roam the streets and explore our new home!
After sauntering past a casual morning street brawl and some random cows, Jenny and Sumit settle down on a nice little park bench, covered in “bleeding” or tobacco (you pick!) to enjoy a quaint little cup of chai.
And when I say little. I mean little. Like seriously, guys. The cups were the kind you get in doctor’s offices to pee.
Nevermind, because there are more pressing issues at hand-the papers. THE PAPERS! The gosh-darn divorce papers. But are they living? Do they exist? We, and Jenny, are left wondering.
Sumit calms Jenny’s mind with a half-a** promise that went something like this: You can accompany me to the courthouse and you will see how long it takes to get the papers. Jenny interpreted that to mean that she will actually be seeing the alleged papers and, once again, we are lost in translation. Oh, where is that darn egg when you need it.
The Others: BB & Ari / Tim and … Tim
BB, is it? Biniyam isn’t flowing with me so can I call him BB? I can’t do the whole “Baby” thing. However we decide to knight him, one thing I know for sure – the dude has a soothing voice. Perhaps even more so than Kenneth’s!
But Ari isn’t feeling BB’s “new look”, i.e., his lack of dreads and loss of weight. And she definitely ain’t feeling the “new” apartment that’s straight out of the movie Saw.
Guys. I wish I could say that comparison was a stretch … but that bathroom. Yowzas.
Let’s just say Janice, Ari’s mom, is NOT going to be happy.
Tim also appeared in this episode, but we have yet to see Melyza (or MAY-lee-ZAH), other than through her Skype cameos. Just go to KOH-lombia already, Tim, so we can punch up your storyline a bit.
So that was it, guys. What did you think of this episode? Who is your favorite couple? I gotta say, I am brimming with excitement over this show and might just go binge-watch all other seasons.
Next week, Jenny learns it could take four years for Sumit’s divorce, Brittany is called a prostitute, and we FINALLY get to see Kenneth and Armando together in Mexico!!! My goodness, where has this show been all my life?! Til’ next week my 90-day lovers!
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way airs on Monday nights at 9 pm.