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Seeking Sister Wife: The Winders explain their rules for courting

The Winders of Seeking Sister Wife
With a new potential sister wife in the picture, The Winders explained their views on courting. Pic credit: TLC

The Winders, a Mormon polygamist family on Seeking Sister Wife, recently welcomed a potential sister wife, Kimberley, into their home, and thought it was a good time to explain how courting works within their relationship.

This season on Seeking Sister Wife, fans of the show have watched as Colton, Tami and Sophie have pursued a potential sister wife in Kimberley, a school teacher from North Carolina.

Kimberley traveled over 2,000 miles to meet the family in person, as they had only communicated via video chat, due to the pandemic, after meeting in an online group.

On their Instagram account, they shared several pics of their family and told their followers, “Almost two years ago, we wrote a post on our family blog about our views on courting. Given what’s currently occurring on the timeline of the show, we thought it might be good for us to share it again.”

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They continued, “To sum it up, consent is vital, and making sure your husband’s honor can’t be impugned is critical,” and included a link to their blog that explains courting.”

Sophie wrote a blog post explaining their views on courtship

On their website, they dedicated a blog post to explaining courting, written by second wife, Sophie. The first quote that they included in their post read, “You don’t date a married man…”

The first paragraph explains, “Whether you live plural marriage or not, you want your husband to stay honorable to you, honorable to your marriage vows, or covenants, or whatever applies to your relationship.”

“Marriage is a beautiful thing, and choosing to live your life with someone, and committing yourself to them, is a beautiful thing. You want to keep that relationship strong, and be faithful to what you have already established.”

“The trust that you’ve built over the years, and the foundation you’ve created together. I can’t say this enough, you don’t date a married man.”

Colton, Tami and Sophie explained becoming vulnerable in their relationship and how they accept another wife into their marriage

Each of the spouses have committed themselves to each other and say that “Seeking a sister wife is a balancing act.”

The Winders admit that although their marriage isn’t easy, they believe it’s worth it. Sophie explained that everyone has to be ready to accept a new wife into the family.

They consider courtship to be more serious than dating, with the intent of marriage as the final outcome. Once all of the spouses have agreed on a potential sister wife, the courting process can begin.

The wives make sure that Colton is “never in a compromised situation” with a potential sister wife, meaning that chaperones must be present at all times so that Colton is never alone with her.

“If there is never a situation our husband is placed in that compromises his position of honor, there can never be an ill word spoken against him,” Sophie explained of Colton not being placed in positions where he may be tempted physically with the potential sister wife.

Having such guidelines in place allows the Winders to feel confident that Colton is trustworthy: “In knowing how he acted with her throughout her courtship, she knows she can trust him in any future courtship with another woman. This process shows the full circle of an honorable man.”

Their rules are based off what each of them feel comfortable with, as far as what they allow, and if one of the wives don’t feel comfortable with something, it doesn’t happen.

“It’s daunting, but if done right, it’s also edifying and exalting for all in the marriage,” Sophie said of courting.

Colton and Kimberley haven’t exactly shown any sparks for each other

This season on the show, Colton wasn’t sure he was ready to bring in a third wife, given the dynamic of their family, having just welcomed another baby and moving into a new house together.

Fans finally got to meet Kimberley, and they weren’t very kind about her appearance on the show, which Colton addressed with followers last week in an Instagram post.

Fans of the show can catch up with the Winders tonight for an all-new episode and see how things pan out with Kimberley, after Tami and Sophie questioned whether Colton had any chemistry with her.

Seeking Sister Wife airs on Mondays at 8/7c on TLC.

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