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MAFS: Why Jose’s request for a ‘perfect wife and marriage’ is a red flag

MAFS Jose San Miguel looks nervous waiting for his new bride
MAFS Jose looks nervous waiting for his new bride at the altar Pic credit: Lifetime

Perfect wife, perfect life? While we are pretty sure the saying is actually “happy wife, happy life,” don’t try explaining that to MAFS Season 13’s Jose San Miguel, because he has made it clear, he wants perfection.

Jose won’t settle for less than the best

Jose and Rachel are one of the hot new Season 13 couples, and on paper, the couple definitely has it going on.

While the two may seem picture perfect on paper, there is just one thing that continues to give us pause as to the couple’s chance of success.

Jose requested a “perfect wife” from the matchmakers, as he pulled out his two-page laundry list of requirements and attributes he had for his future bride. This caused fans and experts alike to wonder…is he ready for this? Because while the Married At First Sight process is magical, it is far from perfect.

Life is messy, marriage is messy, and getting married to a complete stranger sight unseen in front of a camera for a show that is going to broadcast worldwide–well that’s about as messy as it gets.

Although Jose does seem pleased with his new wife, Rachel, fans are still wondering, what happens when she doesn’t meet Jose’s expectation of perfection? Will he be understanding or will his quest for the best, end this couple?

Why an expectation of perfection is a red flag

Most married couples will agree, marriage is far from a perfect situation. Marriage takes work, compromise, and an acceptance of the other’s flaws.

Yes, flaws. Because we all have them. Including Jose and his inability to accept the flaws in anyone else is probably more a reflection of his inability to accept the flaws about himself. It’s some real Freudian stuff.

It makes sense though, from his savage savings plan to his strict adherence to routine, structure is the name of Jose’s game. Generally speaking, when someone holds themselves to such high standards, it is because they don’t feel they are good enough on their own.

Another clue we get that this might be the case is on the wedding day when Jose immediately assumes that Rachel doesn’t find him attractive. It is especially odd since Rachel never does or says anything that would give off that impression; she kisses him and seems immediately comfortable with physical intimacy with him.

The fact that Jose immediately assumes someone won’t find him physically attractive, probably means, he doesn’t find himself physically attractive. Funny how that works right?

But it’s true. Relationships are a mirror, so Jose projecting the belief that he is unattractive onto Rachel when she hasn’t done or said anything that should make him think that, gives us a little insight into Jose’s inner thoughts.

High Standards usually equal low satisfaction

Jose has the highest of standards for his new wife and married life, but here’s the problem with high expectations. They set people up for disappointment. Why? Because others can rarely attain them, nor do they always want to. So when Jose expects Rachel to be the “perfect wife” he sets the entire marriage up for failure. There is just no such thing as the perfect wife or the perfect marriage. So Jose is bound to be disappointed.

Expecting perfection out of others or a situation is usually a sign not only of insecurity but also of immaturity. Two qualities that do not make for a good marriage candidate. So while it is important to be clear on what someone wants out of a partner and marriage, taking it to the extreme that Jose has, is not only a red flag about what he might have going on internally but sadly a red flag that he is probably not ready for marriage.

This is why as much as we may like Jose and Rachel, we have them pegged next to last on our Season 13 Most Likely to Succeed List.

However, as we have seen in Married At First Sight history, the process can work wonders on individuals and couples working through their issues. So maybe Jose’s red flags will stay just that, flags, and not the final call on their relationship at play.

Married at First Sight airs on Wednesdays at 8/7c on Lifetime.

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