In news that is unlikely to shock athletic associations around the world, Britney Spears has clarified that she is NOT faster than Usain Bolt.
The need to clarify arose after she made a somewhat confusing boast online about her personal best.
In a since-deleted post on her Instagram, the Oops!… I did it Again singer stated that she usually manages to run 100 meters in six or seven seconds.
She then claimed that she once did it in under five seconds.
According to NME, she wrote, “Ran my first 5 !!!! Getting over your fear of pushing it, in the beginning, is key …. once I did that, I hit 5 !!!!! Usually, I run 6 or 7 …. my first try was 9 …. and now I did it whoop !!!!! 100-meter dash.”
Many intelligent folks were quick to point out to the 38-year-old singer that the current world record holder for the fastest person to run 100 meters is Usain Bolt, and he can only run the distance in a paltry 9.58 seconds.
Bolt achieved the record at the 2009 IAAF World Championships in Athletics in Berlin.
If and when the Tokyo summer Olympics ever takes place, Bolt will clearly have to up his game if he hopes to defeat Spears of Team USA.
Alas, as already stated above, Team USA may have to look elsewhere if they want a record holder.
Britney Spears says she was joking about being faster than Usain Bolt
Britney returned to Instagram to tell us it was all a joke. She wrote, “obviously, I was joking about running the 100-meter dash in 5.97 seconds.”
She then acknowledged Usain Bolt’s lightning speed but also gave the athlete a stark warning, “the world record is held by Usain Bolt, which is 9.58 seconds, but you better believe I’m coming for the world record.”
Britney Spears is bored in quarantine
She added the comments as a postscript to a post about how she’s tried to relieve the boredom of quarantine by creating a cute video of herself modeling a selection of dresses and outfits.
Britney Spears was clearly taking a break from leading the socialist revolution in the last few days after she appeared to call for a general strike and redistribution of wealth with a post she shared on Monday.
If Comrade Britney is still bored of quarantine, she might want to consider taking up guitar lessons to compliment her beautiful singing voice with Fender Play, who are reportedly offering free online lessons, during these trying times, to the first 100,000 to sign up.
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