Opinion

The Valley: Why the Vanderpump Rules spinoff is already a disaster

Trouble brews on Bravo's The Valley.
The Valley is one of the worst reality shows. Pic credit: Bravo

Vanderpump Rules hasn’t been good in years, so launching The Valley out of the latest episode of the Bravo series was always going to come with some caveats.

The transition between the two shows was seamless, and VPR having one of its best episodes of the season should have helped keep viewers invested.

Sadly, The Valley’s series premiere was a convoluted mess, complete with forced storylines that would give The Hills a run for its money.

We were hastily introduced to the plethora of cast members without much context. There are far too many people on the cast to form much of a connection within one episode.

It’s bad times when the only people bringing it to the premiere are Jax Taylor, Brittany Cartwright, and Kristen Doute. In hindsight, maybe getting those three back was actually a good idea.

They’re seasoned reality TV veterans and came armed with storylines for this new spinoff, so there’s that.

The Valley premiere tried too hard to find compelling storylines

The premiere felt more about throwing a million storylines and situations at the wall to see what would stick. Unless the drama kicks up a few notches quickly, The Valley is destined to be a stain on Vanderpump Rules’ legacy.

The episode showed that there are indeed cracks in Taylor and Cartwright’s relationship, as they have parted ways since filming, but it’s hard not to question how much I care about these personalities nowadays.

Cartwright knew the man she was getting involved with after various cheating scandals, so it’s difficult to feel bad for someone who has let so much slide over the years.

If the reports are accurate and Cartwright is the one to end the relationship, those would be scenes worth watching.

Kristen Doute is still making terrible decisions

Doute was a part of some of VPR’s most iconic storylines, but the only storyline she has going for her is her want to have a child with boyfriend Luke Broderick, but the dude doesn’t even live in Los Angeles.

It reeks of a half-baked storyline, and she should probably thank Taylor’s observations about their relationship because her return to the small screen would have been a dud without those moments of conflict.

Out of the new cast members, Jesse and Michelle Lally seem to have the most to lose from doing the show, but the footage of them raises red flags because they don’t seem to have a functioning relationship.

Two now-defunct relationships providing all the drama is thirsty

Like Taylor and Cartwright, they have separated since filming, and if the teaser for the rest of the season is to be believed, the two couples have a lot of insanity coming up.

If the rest of the cast doesn’t develop storylines in the coming weeks, two relationships imploding as the source of all drama sets a worrying precedent for future seasons.

The Valley airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo. Stream Season 1 on Peacock.

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Lee
Lee
1 month ago

Agreed. I could not figure out what I was watching. Then I could not figure out why I was watching the show. The returning cast from VPR haven’t changed. Wasn’t Kristen let go because of her racist comments. What is she doing back?
The new cast especially the two who have already separated, please give them the boot. Less cast members gives more time to develop characters.

Sue
Sue
30 days ago

Who CARES what some dumbass “critic” thinks??

Sue Sibbert
Sue Sibbert
29 days ago
Reply to  Sue

Not Me.

Sue Sibbert
Sue Sibbert
29 days ago
Reply to  Sue

I didn’t say that I Meant

Kelly fuller
Kelly fuller
30 days ago

I loved it. It reminded me of my life at that age

Britt
Britt
20 days ago

Boaring tedious and uninteresting new cast members….