Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Long recaps Married at First Sight, Atlanta, Season 12, Episode 2, Hello, Stranger, with a little help from a glass of pinot (or two) …
Well, MAFS-Lovers, after three episodes of fluff, we finally got to see our couples get married! Tonight, we saw the weddings of Clara and Ryan, Erik and Virginia, Bri and Vincent, and the beginning of Paige and Chris (Haley and Jacob are next week).
The episode was full of surprises: Erik and Virginia couldn’t stop making out, Virginia stayed sober (kidding), and Chris said “oh s**t” when he saw Paige (and not in a good way). Seriously, Chris?!
So in honor of Virginia, pour yourself a shot, glass of wine, or ten, and let’s recap.
First up! The blindfolded duo … Clara and Ryan!
Clara & Ryan’s Wedding – Meet the Oubres!
Well, I guess you could say Clara and Ryan win the award for most polite of the night. There were no real fireworks nor were there any grenades either.
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A major thing lacking was Ryan telling Clara she looked beautiful! He didn’t do it when he saw her–it took her fidgeting with her dress over their reception dinner for him to finally throw her a “you look great by the way” bone.
Over their first champagne, Ryan tells Clara he’s a “big personality,” which gets Clara excited, but I’m afraid “big personality” to outgoing Clara means “fun” while serious “calculating” Ryan means “you have to call me out on my B.S. big personality because I think I’m pretty awesome.”
Unfortunately, their conversations felt more like formal interviews, lacking in that initial chemistry we so love to see. While there was a smooch during their photos, I stand by my prediction that Clara will just be too much personality for this reserved gent. We already saw a hint of it tonight when Ryan was making a “yikes” face while Clara eagerly gabbed about her homemade wedding sneakers and how she hated her hair and makeup.
These two seem mature and polite enough that they will give this a real college try, but I’m afraid when it’s all said and done, they just ain’t each other’s types. (Ryan’s brother is more her speed, I say!)
Erik & Virginia – Meet the Lakes!
Oh where to begin with these two. Well, as I anticipated, these two were the most fun to watch!
Virginia rolled into her hotel room like it’s Spring Break 2021, ordering up shots, while Erik told his groomsmen that he didn’t sign up for this experiment for fun-he did it because he is serious about finding a wife.
This man’s a catch. I mean, he said hi to the moms, was respectful to the dad, and the first thing out of his mouth upon seeing his new bride was “you look gorgeous, absolutely.” Oh yeah, he’s a pilot who will take you flying and his last name is “Lake” making you have the coolest name ever: Virginia freaking Lake!
As Erik seems to get cuter and cuter, Virginia seems to get drunker and drunker.
I’m rooting for her though! Virginia told us she’s “been pretty PRESERVED” with her relationships and that she has abandonment issues as a child of divorce. She reasons that the guy she’s paired with must be serious about marriage, and, therefore, he won’t leave her. (There there, sweetie. Erik will definitely provide security for you. I’m just mad I didn’t sign up for this season!)
Erik learned about Virginia’s drinking habits during the wedding toasts. Pic credit: Lifetime
Traditional, homebody-type Erik is a trooper, smiling and laughing through it all, including her telling him that 1. She brought a cooler to the room to pre-game, 2. her bridesmaids are all drunk, 3. She goes out “a lot” to bars and the occasional club, 4. Her sister is a lesbian with kids that were from artificial insemination, and 5. She throws up frequently in the backseats of cars and has a lot of drinking years left in her.
Erik rolls with it but can’t help but give a side glance to his traditional parents (who I’m still not sure if Virginia ever spoke to). She was more concerned with her cocktails than meeting mom. (But what about Erik’s adorable, dad Tom?!)
Just keep it together, girl. Don’t fall on the dance floor. Stay away from da’ clubs. And, keep up the good work with all your affectionate little smooches (he seems to like those). And you being 8 years his junior doesn’t hurt either.
Briana & Vincent’s Wedding – A promising start.
Giving Erik and Virginia a run for their money in the chemistry department, we have Bri and Vincent, dressed in “green like a dolla bill.”
As Erik wins for cutest dad, Bri wins for cutest mom. Not only was her wedding makeup amazing, but her advice to Bri wasn’t too shabby either. She is well aware of Bri’s “I want it my way” tendencies and basically tells her to just chill and then welcomes Vincent with open arms, calling him “Sweetie.” (I suspect mom might be “Team Vincent” when a little argument arises.)
We learned tonight that Bri is “bossy, bossy, bossy,” which worried me at first (and still sort of does). However, Bri’s ability to come down to Vincent’s more laid back level during their post-ceremony champagne was comforting.
Vincent thinks his wifey is “gorgeous with a nice face and features,” while Bri is jazzed over his “really nice bald head.”
She also thought it sexy that Vincent is the kind of guy who “takes care of business first and then tells you about it later.” He is a car broker (meaning he negotiates a car deal for you), and Engineer Bri’s reaction seemed skeptical of this job, but her words said something else: “Well look at you! Impressive. I think the experts matched us well.”
And, by almost all initial impressions, I have to agree. So cheers to that.
Paige & Chris’s Wedding – This doesn’t look good.
Oh Chris and Paige. I’m scared, you guys. We only saw the beginning of this wedding, and I’m afraid this is the couple the teaser was talking about when it said one picky groom is not happy with his wife. Eeks.
Even worse, Paige is so at peace with the fact that she is about to marry the man God has destined for her. The Holy Spirit is with her. She’s not nervous. She is about to fulfill God’s plan and promise for her!
Paige, you might want to get to praying some more here, sister.
Chris is so over-the-top about women wanting him for his “money” and not having an “ugly” wife that I’m afraid you’re doomed!
What’s more, the moment he saw her step onto the aisle, he mumbled under his breath “oh s**t.”
Of course, the producers might just be toying with our emotions and the “oh s**t” could mean “oh s**t she’s gorgeous!” but I’m not too optimistic here. We shall see!
Next week, we’ll see what happens when Paige and Chris meet as well as see Haley and Jacob’s wedding. Virginia also chats with Erik’s brother who tells her, yeah, uh, no … Erik is NOT the clubbing guy.
But I’m standing by my prediction: Virginia is going to bring out Erik’s inner freak and he will be down to entertain it! Perhaps this might even happen in none other than their honeymoon destination, Sin City itself?! (Here’s hoping!)
Til’ next week, MAFS-Lovers!
Married at First Sight airs on Wednesdays at 8/7c on Lifetime.
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