My Big Fat Fabulous Life: Whitney shakes her thing then gets shaken…by dating her cousin!

Whitney tackles belly dancing on this week’s My Big Fat Fabulous Life

This week on My Big Fat Fabulous Life, Whitney tackles new challenges but it turns out even our mostly fearless heroine has bridges she damn well won’t cross. Let’s get to that in a minute. First, there’s kickball!

Well, Whitney isn’t playing kickball, but Todd is. He’s part of a gay men’s league, and is apparently devoted to it because all the other guys are hot. Hey, there are worse reasons for playing kickball.

Whitney talks with Todd, who’s part of a new kickball gay men’s league

But the real reason for Whitney to stop by the kickball game (because let’s face it, most people who watch kickball being played are the parents of five-year-olds) is for some plot exposition.

Todd has gotten Whitney and himself passes to an exercise class being held by the Fitness Marshall in New York. Whitney loves the Fitness Marshall! She loves New York!

Plus, she and Todd haven’t really “done” New York together, so it’s a win-win-win! Yay!

Really wish I hadn’t seen the promo for next week, because it seems like it’s going to be a sad teacher voice from a Charlie Brown special instead of a yay.

We can cross that bridge when we get to it, though, because for one brief, shining moment everything is right in the world.

Whitney then has to challenge Jiya to a rematch, which seemingly ends up in Jiya instituting new rules (no pro choreographers, Whitney!) instead of Whitney screaming, LEAVE THOSE DAMN KIDS AT HOME!

I think Whitney is in a world of hurt if she doesn’t make it very, very clear to Jiya she can’t trot out the kids again, but hopefully that just didn’t make it onto the screen.

The deciding factor for Jiya accepting the challenge was that all funds raised from ticket sales go to the charity of the winner’s choice, so maybe Jiya isn’t entirely evil, even if she does cheat.

They did have a pretty fabulous frenemy “Hi, sweetie! Hate you but making nicey nice for the cameras!” hello, though, and that was something.

Jiya and Whitney say hello and give each other a big hug

Whitney may have a secret weapon for the dance battle, though, and that comes courtesy of one of the last battle’s judges, Daliana.

She teaches belly dancing, and recruits Whitney to shake her groove thing in class. For her first class, Whitney seems less carefree and funloving than grimly determined to get through the experience.

She may say she’s excited about the class, but she seems more self-conscious about the fact that everyone else knows what they’re doing.

It probably doesn’t help that Daliana has to let everyone know Whitney has moves. Whitney does, but she also has neuroses. Daliana will discover this soon enough, though.

Whitney soldiers through her first belly dancing class

Whitney can’t belly dance through the entire episode (even if it starts to feel that way) because Nathan wants to see her again — and he has something to tell her.

Really, there couldn’t be a more ominous warning, could there? They’ve only been on one date, so I’m not sure why he can’t just give her this news over the phone, but okay.

Whitney could just blow off Nathan, but she wants to be open minded. Her new motto is #EmpoweredLady, so why not meet Nathan again, even under this creepy shadow of doubt he’s cast?

I hope it wasn’t a long trip to the aquarium, because Nathan lowers the boom the moment they sit down in front of a tank.

He wants her to know… they’re RELATED. Yes, they’re second cousins, which isn’t all that close and is probably not that big a deal, but Whitney’s reaction makes it clear that this is no bueno for her.

Whitney reacts to Nathan’s news that he’s her second cousin “or something”

It’s not a terrible sacrifice, really, given that she wasn’t all that into Nathan. What’s funny is that when she reveals this shocking news to her friends, they’re momentarily unnerved..

Whitney’s friends react to her news about online date Nathan

… and then they suggest Whitney shouldn’t throw Nathan back in the pond just yet. He’s nice! He’s cute! Sure, he has kids and you’re not into him, but this might be your best offer!

Whitney finds this “support” incredible depressing, but they have a point. If Whitney had been really taken with Nathan, this shouldn’t have been the dealbreaker. However, she didn’t really dig him anyway, so I think it’s just fine to let this fish go.

Then, it’s back to belly dancing (seriously, this episode was chock full of belly dancing), because Daliana has convinced Whitney to shake her groove thing at a restaurant for complete strangers and some of Whitney’s family and friends.

I’m not sure why Whitney, who becomes a nervous, neurotic, type-A disaster before the performance, felt the need to have her family come out to support her.

I was inclined to think her dad would demand she put on more clothing and her mother would swipe the sword Whitney balanced on her head in order to make it all about her, but they were surprisingly nice about it. Possibly because Whitney did have that sword.

Whitney performs some belly dancing, which included a wardrobe malfunction

Despite a wardrobe malfunction (which her parents were less enthusiastic about), it all ends well — and Whitney is pretty sure she can teach her students to incorporate some belly dancing into the big battle.

There’s a lot of work to be done, but first, New York!

My Big Fat Fabulous Life airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on TLC.

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