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Invite Only Cabo recap: The Emily isn’t just a cheater, she’s a liar, too edition

Emily has two very different faces, and personalities, on Invite Only Cabo

Tonight we see, literally, the two different faces of Emily on Invite Only Cabo.

They’re as different as her drunk and sober personalities. And apparently, the two have never met.

And Emily is pretty much ruining the trip for everybody with her slutty, drunken antics.

“This has literally been the vacation from hell for Kamani. First, she got thrown off the ATV. And then she starts falling for Agu, then she gets let down by Agu, again. That’s a lot to deal with. That would crumble a lot of people, but Kamani is a strong woman,” Larry says.

As a result of all the stress, Kamani’s wound a little bit tight at this point.

Jermane tattles on Kamani for going off on him in the car the night before. He does an excellent impression of her for Larry.

Emily asks Agu for the details of what happened that first night when they hooked up.

He tells her they went down on each other.

Emily’s face when Agu tells her they performed oral sex on each other the first night

“It’s just that I lost a lot for a couple of minutes,” Emily says, starting to cry.

Emily, FYI, blackouts like these are a BIG sign of alcoholism. #TimeToMeetBillW

She’s going to call her boyfriend and tell him the truth. Because that’s a good idea.

“Usually I end up ending the relationship first… but this relationship is the first one I’ve truly cherished,” she says. She’s disgusted by her own behavior.

So it’s definitely the right time to call and confess her sins, right? Ugh.

Emily calls Joseph and tells him she f**ked up big time.

“What have you done?” Joseph asks. Poor guy has only been gone for like two days.

She tells him that “there was very small oral foreplay” between her and Agu.

In other words, Emily isn’t just a cheater – she’s a liar, too.

You know he’s going to see the show and know you’re lying, right? #BlondeRoots

Joseph gives her an ultimatum about cutting off her relationship with Agu, and she doesn’t like that.

“This is unacceptable for me,” he says.

She tells him this is how she is.

Emily is going to be single forever with that attitude. She screwed up, Joseph didn’t. She deserves to be dumped. Hard.

Meanwhile, Bianca decides to grill Larry about who he’s actually in love with.

He’s told them somebody else is coming to visit, but not who.

Bianca arrived in Cabo thinking she was sealing the deal on her relationship with Larry. She’s gotta be bitter.

“He’s somebody in my life that matters,” Larry says.

As in, hey everybody, I’m in love with a guy named Corey.

I totally called that, btw. Larry is gay.

“It feels freeing to know I don’t have to keep that part of my life a secret anymore,” Larry says.

That’s harsh for Bianca. She can’t compete with a man.

“I didn’t realize that they were really in a serious relationship,” Bianca says.

But girl, you knew he was doing a dude? Hmmm.

“I’m happy that Larry’s happy,” Bianca says it’s fine. #LiarLiarPantsOnFire

Jermane already knew about Corey, and although he hasn’t met him, he’s not a fan.

He compares Larry staying with Corey to his friend choosing to keep a fake Louis Vuitton when Larry hates fakes.

When she goes downstairs for breakfast, Emily tells Larry that she told Joseph, and now she wants to have fun.

B***h has zero shame.

“How’s the new room situation working out?” Larry asks.

They had to do a room swap after Kamani found out that Agu had his hand in Emily’s crotch the night before.

“If I was Emily, I would sleep with one eye open,” Jermane jokes.

“Corey is coming tomorrow,” Larry tells Emily.

“Who’s Corey?” Emily asks.

“From the moment we met each other, it was like magic,” Larry says.

Look, I don’t care who or what this guy wants to date, but he was partnered up with Bianca like five days ago, so this whole thing must make her ready to spit flames.

Kamani is still really mad at Agu, and has no interest in even talking to him. But he hasn’t given up.

She’s grossed out by the mere prospect of getting Emily’s slopping seconds. Ick!

“Let’s play, who can go to bed quicker,” Larry suggests. Good idea!

He’s still tired from the drama the night before.

Agu tries to talk to Kamani, again, the next morning.

She’s not having it.

“I truly was hurt that I hurt you,” Agu says.

You were hurt? YOU WERE HURT??? Who cares how you felt, you total douchebag!

Emily rolls by during the conversation, which doesn’t help.

“It doesn’t have to be awkward or weird,” Agu says.

“Too late for that. You f**ked me over,” Kamani says.

She tells him that he’s blown her trust.

“Everything I said to you was real…” Agu says

“Thank God I didn’t let you touch me like that,” Kamani says, again.

And Agu implies that he hooked up with Emily because Kamani wouldn’t hook up with him.

“She got sent home at the end of the shift,” Jermane tells Malaku. He says Agu screwed Kamani over completely, letting her think she was “the one” in the house, then groping Emily again.

“I’m sorry there had to be a couple of bumps. But that doesn’t mean we can’t make up for it and have fun,” Agu says.

Yes it does. OMG! What a conceited jerk!

I swear I’ll puke if Kamani gives in to this guy.

Jermane thinks Larry is too trusting – and he’s got some concerns about the new love of his life, Corey.

And he thinks Larry should be nervous about introducing Corey to six of his very opinionated friends at one time.

When Corey arrives, Jermane cannot even keep a straight face.

Corey, and his man bun, arrive at the villa in Cabo

Corey has a man bun. Bahaha! Of course he does.

“Well well well. Mr. Man Bun.,” Jermane snarks. “This young kid with a backpack – this is what you’re keeping from me?”

He’s disappointed in his bff Larry.

“How much does Corey know about what goes on between Larry and Bianca?” Kamani wonders. She thinks they’ve had enough awkward for one vacation.

Corey tells Emily she looks like Marilyn Monroe – guaranteeing him a place in the heart of at least one of the other houseguests. Nobody else thinks she’s anything but garbage.

Corey explains to the group that he’s been hesitant to enter Larry’s social circle.

He does some a**-kissing with Larry’s friends, talking about how important they are to his relationship.

If he’d been there all week, he wouldn’t be interested in getting to know half of them.

Jermane thinks Larry has kept Corey on the down-low because he doesn’t think Corey is the best thing for Larry.

“Your application is being looked at,” Jermane jokes. But he’s not kidding.

They go out to dinner. And Emily has a rant about Kamani in the car on the way.

She blames Kamani for everything. Totally unfair because Emily has been the hot mess causing all the drama. She’s just always too drunk to remember that.

Meanwhile, Corey and Larry are getting sexy in the backseat of the car. Bianca says Corey was drunk when he arrived.

He does one of those stupid drunken proclamations that everybody always regrets the next day.

“I have honestly fell in love with Larry. I’ve just been wanting someone to be with who I can believe in. I know I haven’t expressed it to you. I really, really love you,” Corey cries. Actual tears.

A drunken Corey professes his love to Larry in the car on the way to dinner

Larry starts crying, too. The girls ooo and ah, but you know Bianca is grinding her teeth behind her smile.

If Jermane were in that car, he’d bust out laughing.

Agu makes yet another run on Kamani in the club, while Emily glares across the room.

Emily tells Bianca she’s about to go off.

“There’s only one person who brings the drama, and that’s her,” she says.

Bahaha! You are a walking drama queen, Emily.

Bianca runs and tattles to Larry that Emily is complaining about Kamani.

How old is Bianca? Because she reminds me of every girl I didn’t like in 8th grade. #JustSaying

Nobody likes a tattletale in the long run. Cuz you know she’d tattle on you if she got something on you. #ByeGirl

Emily’s acting like Agu owes her something now that she’d been dumped by Joseph for blowing him.

Emily is determined to make Kamani as miserable as she is

Emily announces her intent to “f**k over” Kamani.

This can’t end well.

Emily and Agu get into a fight in the car on the way home, while Jermane and Malaku watch like it’s a tennis match.

“I kinda knew Emily was jealous of the whole Agu/Kamani situation anyway. And now her true feelings are coming out,” Malaku says.

Malaku’s face as he watches Emily and Agu scream at each other in the car

Emily basically accuses Agu of using her. Because he basically did.

“She’s been talking s**t about me since I f**king got here,” Emily says.

Kamani is not your enemy, Emily. YOU are your own worst enemy.

She points out that Kamani is looking for a relationship with Agu. Like that’s a bad thing, and every woman should just sleep around.

Agu has heard enough. He actually likes Kamani. He just enjoys sex with Emily.

“Do you not realize the s**t you f**king do?” Agu asks.

“Do you not realize you put yourself in the f**king situation?” Agu accuses Emily of c**k-blocking him. As if his behavior is her fault.

She has every right to be pissed.

But nobody is buying what Agu is selling.

“It’s really amazing to me that Agu is kinda not accepted that he’s Emily’s tango partner,” Jermane is holding Agu partially responsible for this mess.

“Like y’all are do-si-doing together – you don’t have a leg to stand on,” Jermane says.

Emily ends up declaring she’ll never speak to Agu again. Too bad she didn’t do that last night.

Corey is so sloppy drunk when they get home that it’s painful to watch. Larry puts him to bed and goes down to the pool.

Jermane gets with Kamani and Bianca on the pool deck, and gives the report on the argument between Agu and Emily in the car.

Such gossipy little girls! And that includes ALL the men in this group, too.

Larry is sick of it all.

“I’m done. I’m not doing this with nobody anymore,” Larry says. He’s getting louder with each word.

“It’s just like I have had enough with everybody,” Larry rants.

“It’s not everybody, Larry. It’s Emily…” Kamani starts, but Larry shuts her down.

He tells her it’s all of them.

“I’m done. I’m done. I can’t take this,” Larry storms around the backyard screaming and yelling, and threatening to leave. Nice temper tantrum.

I wish this entire crew would grow the f**k up.

“I want to be left alone,” Larry yells, when his besties try to calm him down.

Next week is the season finale – and Kamani confronts Emily over the things she said in the car about her family (I’m assuming the remarks she made about wanting Agu to take her kid to Chuck E Cheese).

And Corey gets told that he professed his love to Larry – but he doesn’t remember it. And he doesn’t seem happy about it.

Poor Larry. Next year, he should go on vacation ALONE.

Things we’re left wondering

Has anybody else noticed the hilarious advertising in the commercial breaks for this show? Condoms??? Bahaha!

Agu just can’t keep himself from getting naked when he’s already in trouble with Kamani and Emily

Why does Agu get naked when he’s already in so much trouble with everybody? Dude is wayyy too in love with himself. That ego is getting him in BIG trouble.

And finally, why won’t Kamani wear a d**ned bra? They’re droopy honey. Floppy, even. I mean natural boobs are good, but tie them down. Or prop them up. Too much side boob is not a good thing in her case. I’m tired of looking at lopsided nipples through a cut-up tank top. What is her aversion to actual bikini tops? Nobody needs to see that.

What does Kamani have against bras and bikini tops? Braless is a bad look for her

Invite Only Cabo airs Sundays at 9/8c on Bravo.

Sandy Malone is a reality TV star, expert wedding planner, and internationally-syndicated columnist for Conde Nast's BRIDES and The Huffington Post, in addition to Monsters... read more
Sandy Malone

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