The troops have aligned in Game of Thrones as the alliances were cemented, and the cards revealed. The women of Westeros, Lady Greyjoy, Ellaria Sands of Dorn, and Lady Olenna Tyrell are totally Team Daenerys.
Queen Cersei, however, has a crazy bastard named Euron up her sleeve. Do not read further if you have not seen Season 7 Episode 2 of Game of Thrones.
We began our journey at storm swept Dragonstone, as the Stormborn nickname Daenerys Targaryen has now made sense after Tyrion’s story.
It appears that Dany is tired of humoring Varys based on his loyalty switcheroo track record, but he gives the speech of his life and saved it, playing the “I’m of the people” card.
We end the episode with Theon Greyjoy abandoning ship as his sister is captured by Uncle Euron and the Iron Island fleet is decimated.
Here are our seven top moments from Season 7 Episode 2, Stormborn:
1 Nymaria and Arya reunion
Arya got great news in a pub, as her affable old pal Hot Pie revealed that Jon has retaken Winterfell from the Boltons. She immediately changed her plans and headed North.
Do you remember several seasons back when Arya was forced to send her direwolf away because of the actions of Joffrey Lannister?
Poor loyal direwolf Nymaria, she was papa Ned Stark’s gift to Arya (all Stark kids got one of their own) yet during a fateful journey to King’s Landing, Arya tussled with Joffrey who had killed her friend Mycah.
In a bid to protect Arya, Nymeria bit into his arm. The direwolf had to be turned away for fear of being slaughtered by the vengeful Lannisters.
Cut to tonight’s most dramatic of reunions as Arya learned Jon Snow was, in fact, alive and had defeated the Boltons. This news ended her revenge trek to King’s Landing. Now encamped for the night, and alone in the woods, Arya was set upon by a pack of snarling wolves.
In dramatic fashion, enter wolf pack leader Nymaria who recognized Arya, and in a powerful silent exchange, refused Arya’s wish to rejoin her, yet allowed her to pass safely through the bitter cold woods.
It was a breathtaking and highly emotional moment.
2 Cersei’s a planner
Meanwhile, at the Red Keep, Qyburn showed Cersei how to defeat Daenerys’ dragons. Qyburn debuted the crossbow on steroids that can pierce a dragon’s skin easily.
Previous to this moment she delivered a pep talk to Lord Tarly and all the King’s Landing noble class who worried if their properties are to be swamped by “foreign savages and eunuchs,” according to Jaime Lannister’s description of what was coming.
Tarly was sold by Jaime on the importance of their alliance as Tarly told him he was not a “schemer” like you-know-who, as the forces surrounding Cersei were shored up and have promised to fight hard against Dany and anyone from the North.
3 Dany calls the bad b*tches of the Westeros to order
Over at Dragonstone, Tyrion arranged the badass ladies of the Westeros, Lady Olenna of House Tyrell, Ellaria Sands of Dorn, and Iron Islands’ Yara Greyjoy to meet and swear allegiance to Dany.
Awkward at first, they relented and agreed to his plan to use the Dornish and Tyrell armies to sack King’s Landing, while the Unsullied army secured Casterly Rock.
Daenerys pulls Lady Olenna aside afterward, with Olenna giving the best speech ever. Olenna tells Dany she has lived through many “clever men” and she ignored them, in an obvious dig against Tyrion. She tells Dany she is a dragon and to please start acting like one.
4 Grey Worm finds a way!
Our fated lovers finally get it on! Grey Worm says goodbye to Missandei before his Casterly Rock assignment.
After his little story about being brave, Grey Worm busted a move on her and they undressed each other, as he allowed Missandei to view him without clothing.
This potent trust bond is now secured, and the two made love as only a cleverly motivated eunuch could possibly perform.
5 Dany’s Raven to Jon Snow works
At Winterfell, Jon Snow is in receipt of Dany’s raven mail and discussed it at length with Sansa and Ser Davos. Sansa was not keen about his departure and despite her fondness for Tyrion, she thought it to be a trap.
Davos was game, however, and pointed out that Dragonfyre and all fire will kill the White Walker hoards. Daenerys’ dragons could solidify their very slim chances. Jon pleaded his case to the Lords of the North and told them he was going and Sansa would be in charge while he was gone.
This session was punctuated by an oleaginous Baelish run-in with Snow prior to his departure, down in the dead Stark hall of fame crypt.
To which Snow pummeled him and warned Littlefinger that if he ever touched Sansa it would be lights out for Baelish permanently.
6 Ser Jorah’s medieval dermatology session
Gross-out scene award goes to Ser Jorah’s eleventh-hour skin treatment by Samwell Tarly, who researched how to fix that nasty greyscale disease.
At the Citadel, Jorah is essentially written off by Archmaester Ebrose as having six months to live. This ignited Samwell to buck his orders as he put it together that Jorah’s dad was with him in the Knight’s Watch.
Ser Jorah seemed to be at peace accepting his fate… but no, Sam went to Jorah that night and told the afflicted knight to “keep quiet, [as] this will hurt.” Sam used a sharp knife to excise the diseased tissue from his body as Jorah bit down on a strap to keep his screams of pain from being heard.
7 Euron (literally) crashes Yara Greyjoy’s almost sex romp
Leave it to Euron to crash bang into Yara Greyjoy’s almost excellent evening of sex with Ellaria Sands.
The Greyjoy fleet had set off from Dragonstone and suddenly was under attack. Euron boarded their ship like a mad pirate, killing the Sand Snakes, Ellaria, and eventually capturing Yara, but not until Theon was given an opportunity to save her.
He did not. Theon bailed and jumped into the sea.
Will Jon Snow’s prior rejection of Melisandre, who has Dany’s ear bigtime, affect her counsel or his attempts to forge a real alliance with Dany?
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO.