This week on The Real Housewives of Potomac, Charrisse throws an absolutely ridiculous, over-the-top Sweet Sixteen party for her daughter, and then ruins it by letting Ashley cater the event.
Hard to believe Charrisse would spend money on a party planner, but let Ashley serve food that most kids won’t touch. Most adults either.
Estranged husband Eddie will be attending.
“He’s paying for it so he might as well get invited,” Charrisse says, as she discusses the event with Ashley and Monique in her backyard.
Ashley spills the tea to Charrisse and Monique about Gizelle talking smack about Monique at the Preakness last week.
As predicted, Ashley’s food tanks at Skylar’s party.
She thinks she misread her customers.
“If they don’t like bacon, there’s no way they’re eating the kangaroo sliders I sent over,” Ashley says. OMG.
Eddie arrives and Ashley wants an introduction.
Charrisse wants her to just chill out.
“Now they won’t even make eye contact with each other,” Ashley is horrified.
“I have no idea why Ashley’s obsessed with my marriage. The little girl definitely needs to stay in her lane,” Charrisse says.
Charrisse gives a nice toast for her daughter, then gifts her a trip to Tahiti, in front of the crowd.
What’s with this need to get public validation for your gifts to your children?
Meanwhile, Monique and Chris are house hunting. And it appears they’ve found something they like in Potomac.
“Potomac is the best of both worlds,” Monique says.
The kitchen has two of everything.
“I think this is home sweet home,” Chris tells their realtor.
Gizelle’s mother is in town. It’s interesting to see what spawned her.
Her mom and Kevin are tight.
Gizelle and her mom go visit Kevin at his home in Bowie, Maryland.
He’s way happier to see mom than Gizelle.
Kevin has made lunch for them – salmon and lobster mac’n cheese – and he has gifts for them.
Mom asks them if they’ve considered becoming more than friends now that they’ve been friends for half of their lives, and Kevin spouts a witticism about needing to know her life before he makes her a wife.
Karen and her husband Ray go out to dinner alone.
She says they’re reconnecting now that the kids are gone.
Ray raised her son Brandon as if he were his own.
Now she wants a five-year plan with her husband. They get up and start dancing in the middle of the restaurant.
No, this isn’t something you usually see in Potomac.
Later, we see Karen having lunch with her son Brandon.
She orders his food for him, and she constantly refers to herself in the third person as “Mommy.”
Her son gives her a hard time for calling Ray “the black Bill Gates,” and she admits that Ray hates it, too.
So stop it already!
Her son doesn’t tolerate her whiny nonsense.
“You can call me too, you have my number,” Brandon says.
Then she threatens to fire Siri because she struggles with her phone.
Her son doesn’t take her seriously. Who could?
Robyn takes her kids to visit her parents’ house and they behave like monsters there, too.
Her parents grill her about her non-marriage. She says Juan would jump at getting married again.
Her parents remind her about Juan’s cheating.
“Nobody’s perfect, it can happen again,” Robyn says.
Her mother tells her at some point she has to be over it. #Foreshadowing
The girls all meet up for a gathering at a hookah bar, hosted by Ashley, of course.
Apparently, it’s BYOB.
Monique brings her aerator with her, along with some expensive wine.
Robyn shows up with a half bottle of liquor. That is kinda tacky.
“As a general rule, I don’t take anything from Ashley,” Karen jokes that she “just says no” and won’t eat candy or sweets offered by the youngster of the group.
Gizelle brings her own cigars, and totally blows off Monique upon arrival, greeting everybody else and going around the new girl.
Monique talks about meeting the Obamas, and the women all start giving her looks.
Ashley tells everybody about Eddie being at Skylar’s Sweet Sixteen. And complaining she didn’t get to meet Eddie.
“Wasn’t about you that night, Ashley. Wasn’t about you,” Gizelle says.
“You do not want to get on my bad side,” Charrisse warns.
“I don’t understand why Ashley won’t just shut her mouth,” Gizelle says.
Charrisse says she hasn’t had sex in two years, and then tells a bizarre story about how she had everybody convinced her vagina was sewn shut in high school.
That’s two minutes of my life I can’t get back. Sigh.
“So me and Ashley were chatting…” Monique calls out the girls for talking about her at Preakness, specifically Gizelle who has only met her once.
“Since I’ve been coming around, you’re the only person who has been standoffish,” Monique says.
She and Gizelle get into an argument.
Karen gets Gizelle’s back, which surprises me.
“We all have to earn our way to trust and dysfunction,” Karen says.
They sling some fake smiles back and forth after Ashley asks everybody to play nice and “puff puff pass.”
They may have called a truce, but this battle isn’t over.
Next week, Ashley tells Robyn that Juan is “seeing someone,” and sets off a whole new drama.
Things we’re left wondering
How did Karen raise a son who appears to be so incredibly normal? It seems like her affectations on the show are all nonsense.
Why would Charrisse let Ashley’s Australian restaurant cater a 16th birthday party? Did she really think teenagers would eat kangaroo and emu?
What’s up with Gizelle’s man Kevin? Does anybody else pick up something “off” about him?
The Real Housewives of Potomac airs Sundays at 9/8 c on Bravo.