Recap: Real Housewives of New Jersey, ‘Amber and Jim are Nuts’ Edition

Recap: Real Housewives of New Jersey, ‘Amber and Jim are Nuts’ Edition

So this entire episode of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” was a lead up to Joe and Teresa’s sentencing. Not that we didn’t all watch it live a couple of weeks ago, but let’s face it, anything having to do with Juicy and Tre is more interesting that what’s going on with everyone else in the entire cast.

I’m so sorry to say this because I’ve been a long-time fan, but I agree with the Twitter-sphere that it’s time to make this show go away for good. The twins are trash. Amber and Jim are nuts. Dina is a hypocritical bitch with about as much Zen as an aggressive pit bull. And Melissa, without something to whine about, is boring. Nobody really wants to see Jacqueline back, and Kathy and Rosie can’t make up a whole cast. It’s doomed. Please BravoTV, show the fans some mercy. Seriously.

Dina’s Project Ladybug event went off well, despite the twins efforts to bait Tre into an all-out battle. Sounds like they did the bulk of the work so Dina could take the credit – the house they borrowed is beautiful. But it was interesting to see the way Dina was definitely NOT on Tre’s side of things. She’s made it clear that if the twins think they are owed an apology, they should get one.

Twin Terayza showed us what a nasty piece of work she is in her interview. Some things… you just shouldn’t say.

“Victoria, Teresa – they behaved like two pigs together,” Terayza says. “I deserve an apology from Teresa for her even repeating something that disgusting.”

“Teresa, you just s**t all over my family, I would never do that to you. But that’s why yours is getting destroyed now… well, it’s true, I mean really. Karma’s a bitch, really,” Terayza proclaims. Wow, watch out kettle, the pot is calling. I wonder what Terayza did to have Karma let Rino sleep with her mom? #JustSaying

Sounds like this charity function is going to be a blast to attend with all these ladies present, right?

“I am so adamant about good energy being there. Like anybody who’s negative or nasty, stay the f**k home,” Dina says (just full of positive energy and Zen). But she’s prepared for the party.

“Prepare for the sound system not working. The food not being ready on time. You know, the twins ripping out somebody’s hair – you gotta be prepared for it all,” Dina explains.

Actually, no, in the real world, that’s not how people behave at children’s cancer fundraisers. And the new cast this season has sunk the show to a new low that has the actual residents of Colt’s Neck, New Jersey, completely mortified.

“I do always worry about bringing my children to events that may have drama,” Melissa says on the way to Abbey Farm. I don’t blame her.

Tre has every right to feel abandoned by Dina because Dina got her into this mess with the twins.

“Listen, she had two weeks to call me and to talk about things. She didn’t have to wait for tonight unless she wants an audience… this is the perfect place, there’s 200 people here,” Tre tells Dina when Dina starts making threats about how she won’t be friends anymore with anybody who starts trouble. Is that a promise? It’s certainly not a threat.

The twins are getting all worked up in the limo on the way to the event, getting their parents involved in it and being nasty about the Giudice family. How did this all become Tre’s fault? And why is Nicole dressed like a hooker again for an event that includes children? Her boys must be so embarrassed by their mom.

“I think the prayers are about to stop,” Terayza says, as if she’s been fully committed to helping out during their difficult time.

“I’m disappointed in Teresa because Teresa was my friend,” Terayza says. I call BULLS**T. You just met each other in production this season. You’re not friends, you’re cast. And you WISH you were friends with them because you’d feel all cool and notorious.

I would give a lot of money to see Terayza say the things she’s said about Victoria Gotti to her face. She really got into Tre’s face at the event.

“Nothing malicious came out of my mouth,” Tre defends herself calmly.

“So if anyone has trash to say about me, keep it to yourself. Especially when it’s coming from trash… I won’t even call her an animal because animals are too good,” Terayza says about Victoria Gotti.

“She’s my friend, and I know she’s Rino friend,” Tre starts. Terayza freaks out. Methinks it’s a little too close to the truth. Notice how Rino’s only upset people are talking about it – he’s not saying it never happened.

“NO NO, she’s not Rino’s friend anymore. We don’t hang out with people like that. She better stay the hell away from me,” Terayza threatens. Or what? Victoria Gotti took a lie detector test on this one and she passed. Could you say the same for yourself? Supposedly she’s going to pop in for the reunion and that’s probably going to be the only interesting part about it.

“Teresa, are you that stupid?” Nicole jumps in to back up her twin. Points to Tre for maintaining her cool.

“Please let me think you have a brain,” Teresa says to Tre. Everybody cringes because Tre usually pops off when somebody calls her stupid but this past year of legal nightmares has definitely toned down her temper. Or improved her impulse control. She’s surrounded and being attacked. If I were Tre, I’d leave the party.

It ends with a fake hug between the Teresas that made most viewers reach for a barf bag.

Leave it to Amber to approach Rino about it at the event. She’s basically apologizing for her husband. I bet she does a lot of that.

“Men don’t talk to women in a certain way and that’s my opinion,” Rino says that’s his only issue with Jim. And also, he doesn’t think Amber realizes how bad her husband is. He’s either dense or a very forgiving guy.

“Yes, I am a wife who stands by my husband no matter what,” Amber declares in interview. I wonder how much longer that will last.

In other matters, we got to see Amber supposedly cutting her hair to donate it to cancer victims who need wigs, but it looked to all of us viewers like she just got a little trim. And when she appeared at the fundraiser, her hair was still very long. I sincerely challenge that she actually cut off the required 10 inches for a donation – and I took a lot of heat from Jim Marchese (til I blocked him) on Twitter. Thing is, I was definitely not the only one with that opinion. Seems like if she was sincere, Amber had a LOT more hair to donate. That’s all I’m saying. She needs a new storyline.

Did anybody else says “no she didn’t” when Amber compared Tre’s sentencing to having cancer? OMG. Really? REALLY???

“I’d rather go through what I went through than what they’re going through right now,” Amber tells Jim.

It’s just not something you can compare. One can kill you, one is punishment for breaking the law. But she had to find a way to draw another comparison between herself and Teresa Giudice. Amber is desperate for attention any way she can get it. That’s something she has very much in common with her scary, probably sociopathic husband.

The whole family gathering to listen to the sentencing results was weird. I mean, it was like they were waiting for election results. Jim’s giving Amber blow-by-blows and explaining what it all means. Nicole and Bobby are monitoring and being rather holier-than-thou about it.

Kathy and Rosie together seemed real – until Jacqueline and Chris came over and when the news came down, Jac made it all about her and started reading texts with Teresa to everyone again. Can somebody please delete her texts so she has to stop that? We get that she’s not speaking to you. Leave it alone. Tre doesn’t want you in her life anymore. Wah! Are you going to send her care packages in prison?

What an ending to a ridiculously crappy season! I mean, seriously, now that we know Tre and Juicy are gone and with the threat of the others returning, does anybody want to watch this garbage? Please, BravoTV – let Jim’s 15-minutes of fame end so he’ll stop harassing bloggers on social media. I think we’ve all had enough.

And let me finish by saying that a three-part reunion is wayyy excessive and I think the only reason it’s going so long is that it’s BravoTV’s last chance to film with Tre and Juicy. Unless they’ve already signed the contract for the post-release interviews in five years.

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