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Recap: Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars, The ‘Warriosity’ Edition

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When WEtv’s “Marriage Boot Camp” ended last week, Benzino had packed and was going to leave the mansion. Why was he leaving? Because Judge Lynn Toler from “Divorce Court” was a mean, nasty judgmental bitch during the first boot camp evaluations, and Benzino felt utterly attacked.

“I don’t honestly think we’re going to work,” Althea says.

We watch a conversation where Judge Toler seems to be explaining to Marriage Boot Camp Directors Jim and Elizabeth Carroll why she was so nasty to Benzino. As I said last week, there was nothing therapeutic about her approach, and I don’t think she adds ANYTHING to the show. They should have kept her as a one-episode wonder each season.

“The way she talked to me was disrespectful. It was uncalled for. So I can’t stay,” Benzino says. I have NEVER heard a participant in Marriage Boot Camp want to leave because of the administrators disrespecting them before. The judge was awful, and totally out of line.

“In order to be a warrior, you have to battle test,” Cedric tries to convince Benzino to stay.

Of course, Cedric doesn’t know that Sundy used to bang Benzino, or maybe he wouldn’t be so encouraging. With that said, Cedric seems to have zero jealousy issues so maybe it won’t matter when he does find out.

I won’t even comment on his pep talk to Benzino about his “warriosity” because I struggled just to figure out how to spell that non-word. But his heart was in the right place.

Cedric succeeds in convincing him to stay. Benzino says he needs to learn to accept other people’s opinions. And Ink tells him that he’s not trying to be mean to him and that if Benzino feels picked on, he should tell Ink and he’ll stop.

“Sometimes your opinion, you got to keep it to yourself until the right time to give it to somebody. Sometimes, the timing ain’t right,” Benzino says.

I actually find this sorta hysterical. This big bad hip hop celebrity who has an ongoing battle with Eminem and got shot by his nephew was going to leave because Judge Toler hurt his feelings.

But the next morning, Althea isn’t being nice and they start out the next day fighting AGAIN.

“Some relationships are toxic. Looking at Althea and Benzino, that relationship is toxic,” Sean says. I totally agree.

“With Althea and Benzino going at each other’s throats, it just should be enough is enough,” Sundy says. Everybody is sick of the “Benzino and Althea Show.”

The drill of the day involves learning how to tango. First with their partners, and then with the partners that are assigned to them by Jim and Elizabeth.

“You will all be learning the tango,” Elizabeth announces. “Nothing is more sexy than the tango, the dance of love.”

“Oh hell no, what is this?” Cedric says. Not everybody wants to be dancing in public, but he’s actually a good sport.

“Dancing the tango is all about communication between you and your partner,” Elizabeth says.

Benzino exchanges nasty words with Althea before the dance lesson even begins and walks out. Jim sends the boot camp co-directors after him because now their behavior is affecting everybody else too.

“They need to send them bitches home,” Ink says when Benzino walks out. That’s direct. And right.

“This drill, in particular, speaks to Benzino and Althea’s issues. If they miss it, they’ll be missing a very valuable lesson,” Jim says.

“To do this exercise means we’d have to come together, and we’re not ready,” Althea tells Co-Director Ilsa Norman. I say too damned bad! Jim always says you have to give 100 percent at Marriage Boot Camp or go home. Time for Althea and Benzino to head to the airport.

David and Ilsa make Benzino and Althea sit down and talk in the kitchen. They play cooperative, but that only happens when they’re getting direct attention from the directors.

“She’s well aware of what she does, and she likes it. Negative attention is better than no attention at all,” Jim says of Althea’s behavior.

“She’s impossible. It’s impossible. What’s the use? I’m not going to last,” Benzino says in an interview.

“She’s not going to take accountability for nothing,” Benzino says. They start arguing about each other’s tone of voice.

“I’m going to give you one minute to join the group or you can leave the house,” Jim tells Benzino. He and Althea return to the group without arguing.

Most of the campers aren’t miserable with the assignment, although some are clearly more talented than others.

“We’re going to watch y’all go first, and then we’ll feel better about ours,” Sarah tells June and Sugar Bear when they start dancing as if that’s not mean. I have a feeling she didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but she’s not bright enough to know she’s offensive.

Jim and Elizabeth invite in a psychologist to help them analyze the couples.

“She’s very invested in being the perfect wife, the perfect everything,” Dr. Judy Ho says about Catherine.

Elizabeth and Jim pair each camper up with a different partner. It’s a pretty funny mix.
Althea and Cedric, Sarah and Sean, Catherine and Sugar Bear, Mama June and Benzino, and Sundy with Ink.

Sarah’s not upset to be paired with Sean. She thinks he’s yummy, for a white guy.

“You don’t even like white guys,” Ink says, making fun of her.

It’s hilarious. Initially, they’re all a lot harder on their new partners than they were on their own real partners. But there’s some jealousy going on.

Catherine stomps off upstairs when Sarah and Sean start practicing. Like she has anything to worry about there.

“Baby, I’m trying to be sweet and comforting,” Sean says, following her. Catherine tells Sean to go away. He says that she has issues because of female fans from “The Bachelor” not respecting boundaries. Well duh, why are you on another reality show then?

Sarah’s not thrilled to find out that Sundy doesn’t have any underwear and she’s going to be grinding on Ink. Sarah and Ink start snarking at each other because Sarah calls Sundy Ink’s “new girlfriend” – and he can’t stand Sundy. It gets nasty fast.

“Ink said some things that were below the belt and I think will stick with Sarah for a long time,” Sean says.

Meanwhile, it’s clear Sean’s own relationship is far from perfect.

“If Catherine told me how she felt, it would make life so much easier. Rather than me guessing why she’s upset,” Sean says.

I can’t quite figure Catherine out. She offers to ask Sundy to put on panties for Sarah. Sarah tells her what to say, and she’s more than happy to get in the middle of it. But since Sundy was classy about it (as classy as you can be when you’re being asked not to rub your bare parts on somebody else’s man), it worked out well.

“Can I ask you something? Would it be okay if I got you some panties?” Catherine asks.

Sundy agrees – if they’re new. Bahahaha!

“There was a panty situation going on,” Catherine says. Well put.

“I don’t wear underwear unless it’s that time of the month for me,” Sundy declares in an interview. Definitely #TMI.

“Learn something different about somebody every day,” Mama June says. I really didn’t expect the star of TLC’s “Here Comes Honey Booboo” to be as sharp as she is. Certainly not the same lady depicted on that show. She has great one-liners.

The formal exercise ends with a cocktail party and dance contest between the pairs.

Sean and Sarah are first, and she forgets the dance. They were paired in hopes Sean might open up, and Sarah might find boundaries.

“I like that we talk back and forth and help each other,” Sarah says.

They show us a view of Judge Toler in the control room watching everybody. Ugh. I really did hope last week was a cameo.

“Sugar Bear and I have it in the bag, but there is some competition here,” Catherine says, feeling confident.

“I needed somebody to kinda teach me and pull me along the way,” Sugar Bear says.

“We really didn’t understand the tango, so we had to put a little tang in the go,” Benzino jokes. But actually, he and Mama June did a pretty good job. And they had fun.

“You were paired together because Mama June is high on self-reliance and low on apprehension, and very much in connection with what she wants. Benzino needs more attention to be able to get his needs met but can be very insightful once he is emotionally regulated,” Elizabeth explains.

“He was able to give me that leadership that I was wasn’t getting from Sugar Bear, and I like that,” June says.

“I feel like Benzino is going through his own trials and tribulations,” Sundy observes.

Not a surprise, Althea did better with Cedric than she did with Benzino during lessons (the part they actually participated in).

“Dancing with Cedric, I was able to get along with someone,” Althea says. I have a feeling she has trouble “getting along” with a lot of people.

“I should have never fucking came here,” Benzino says, watching Althea with Cedric.

On a more positive note, Sundy abandons her plan to go commando.

“Regardless of whether I have underwear on or not, Ink and I are going to win this challenge,” Sundy says.

“Ink and Sundy were amazing on the dance floor… they learned to co-exist,” Catherine says. And she’s right – they were definitely the best dancers.

“I think maybe I prejudged him,” Sundy says. She and Ink have been at each other’s throats since the first day of Marriage Boot Camp.

“I can put differences aside… to get something accomplished,” Ink says.

Catherine and Sugar Bear won the exercise, as Catherine predicted.

“You all have things you require to be happy, and if you’re not getting them inside your relationship, you’re going to go looking elsewhere,” Jim warns. That was the main point of the whole exercise – working with your mate so your mate doesn’t find somebody else to work better with.

Just when I thought things would end on a high note, Judge Toler takes her shoes off to walk across the lawn and join the group on the dance floor. Why was that necessary? I mean, most of the women were wearing heels. I wish this lady would, at least, pretend she went to Ivy League schools.

It’s obvious the judge got told to tone down her nasty, lecturing attitude after the first episode when she upset Benzino so badly that he almost left the house. She has an almost apologetic tone to her still extremely aggressive style of approaching the campers.

“Benzino, the baddest thing I saw tonight was from you,” Judge Toler commends him for not getting angry when Althea was dancing with Cedric. Really? “The baddest thing?”

Maybe she’s dumbing it down for the reality starts she’s working with, but most of them seem able to understand plain English. I just find this judge offensive. I used to like her, but not after last week. I suspect she’s going to be with us all season. Ugh.

Judge Toler says she would put money on all of them to make it through the Marriage
Boot Camp. I don’t really care what she thinks – she shot her credibility in the ass last week. Just get rid of her and let us hear what Jim and Elizabeth think.

Despite what appears to be some sort of peace between Althea and Benzino, it’s not really much better. And that become obvious in the interview.

“Yeah that’s the problem. You don’t like me,” Althea says.

“Hate you. Hate your guts… I got sucked in, you used me,” Benzino says.

Oh wow. If my husband said that to me… if any man or woman said that to their significant other, it should be a clear sign that they definitely do not belong together. I really hope this couple doesn’t hog the spotlight for the entire season because, to be perfectly honest, they may be dramatic but they’re not that interesting.

Looking forward to next week’s episode, and hoping it’s about somebody other than the usual suspects.


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