Ahead of tonight’s second episode of The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart, Monsters & Critics columnist Mary Beth Ellis gets you up to speed by answering all your questions — including the ones you weren’t even asking…
What happened last week on The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart?
Four more women arrived (…four? Yeah. Pretty sure. Four.) Then four left in a rose ceremony controlled by the men. There was some overlapping in this Venn diagram.
Do we know the names of any of the women who left?
One had purple hair and was called Mel. One was named Chantilly. They seemed interesting, so out they went. No idea about the other two.
Did we meet any new men?
Apparently there’s one named Gabe, who has been around for four hours of two episodes and appeared on screen for the first time at 3:59:59. Hi Gabe! Will we ever see you again? Stay tuned.
What about dates? Were there any dates?
Some! Two people went to stand around Venice Beach with an amp and a guitar, while bypassers who wanted to be on TV pretended to hand over singles the producers absolutely did not give them.
Two others were shoved into a closed Guitar Center and told to have a good time, and the couple did an excellent job of not looking bitterly disappointed about this.
Two more walked into a studio to find they were … booked on a morning talk show to promote The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart!
The best date involved the actual expenditure of actual money.
Savannah and Brendan (Brenden? No one seems to agree on this) visited a jazz club (I’m pretty sure they were allowed to eat or at least drink something), and everyone was shocked (!) when the band asked them to join them for a little something.
So, in summary, they, like nearly the others, were asked to work.
Anything else exciting?
Turns out Charming Charlie is not, in fact, closed, and I found the cutest earrings.
No, on the show.
Okay, so the first lust pentagon has emerged.
It starts with a woman named Julia and they guy she likes, Brenden, (Brendan? anyway, the same dude who didn’t even get any singles when he had to sing during his “date”).
Then there is Sheridan, who is all in on Julia, but she started a conversation between them with “Listen, I really respect you,” so we all know where that’s going.
Next, there is Savannah, who Brenda/en likes but she’s more into her thing of being a yoga instructor, who, btw btw btw, as she makes quite clear, is also a model.
Also, Mel was in there somewhere liking Brendan but not heeding any of the very large flags which were clearly directing her to the Friendzone Exit.
Was there… drama?
YES. Between Jamie and Trevor, They of the Amps. One of the new women just happened to know Trevor’s ex and whoopsie let slip to the entire household that he cheated.
This intelligence was immediately communicated to Jamie, who, having declared five minutes previously that cheating was a dealbreaker, all of a sudden declared this particular deal as not being broken at all.
Great drama, very solid, lots of wiping of tears on a pillow.
What else do we need to know?
The room where the rose ceremonies are held take place in some terrifying alt-world living room where symphony gongs serve as lighting fixtures and also part-time satellite dishes.
Live blog?
Live blog! Tonight at 8! Bring your LED gongs!
The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.