Oh, man. Poachers have raised their reptilian heads again on Swamp People.
Mr. Daniel and Big Tee ain’t got no time for that as they spot pink ribbons and foreign lines on their property.
That’s how the show opens and you know the stakes are high and in the swamp, that means guns may be a blazin’.
Out of the gate, Tee shoots a big bull and he and Daniel go to investigate the poaching situation.
Also on the show tonight, bait bandits are explained by Troy Landry, who says hanging fetid chicken is like ringing a dinner bell, heck he needed to get the marshmallow memo from Don who used the fluff to lure bulls with Troy’s son Jacob. Raccoons, possums and chicken hawks eat chicken.
Troy has an old-timer out with him, Mr. Sterling. He swears by using Styrofoam you can avoid the chicken thieves. Floating the bait is a winner he swears.
Ronnie and Ashley are in uncharted territory with an airboat, Ronnie is gung-ho but Ashley… not so much. “Get on in there and tell me what you think,” says Ronnie. Ashley is a fast learner but she says “it’s intimidating…scary but exciting.”
“You got this girl!” says Ronnie who is her biggest cheerleader. He sends her off by herself to snipe at bulls in the honey hole but not before warning her to stay away from the land. Does she listen? Hell no! There’s a prize walking away and she hasn’t got a kill to show for her efforts yet.
The 600-pound problem
Ashley sees why Ronnie warned her. She has landed the airboat in gatorpaloozaville. All over the damned place are huge gators. Gun at the ready, she starts picking them off like flies. But she’s alone, how she gonna get them gators in the boat? “I know that Ronnie is starting to look for me,” she frets. Problem is the gators are so big it will require all her strategy to get them in the boat. Remember, she is on land, not water where there’s some play.
Somehow that momma gets a 600 pounder up into the boat and lawd y’all it looks like she went to the mud spa and got the river treatment.
She realizes time is against her and races back to find Ronnie who will pitch a fit about her getting on land.
Back with Mr. Sterling, his bait trick is working and we learn that Troy is just 58 years-old. Chew on that.
“Old Buddy” Mr. Sterling is on to something and Troy swears he has a trick up his sleeve for every conceivable gator situation.
They are cleaning up with Mr. Sterling’s crafty gator hacks. “Big Buddy” Terral has the week off. Then, Mr. Sterling has to go off to his real day job, crabbing.
“I can only hope at 82 I can work like him,” says Troy.
I’m on Swamp Strike
Yes, Brock and Aaron are also on the show tonight but I am on strike writing about them until I see Frenchy, Gee, Bruce, and Glenn show up.
Back over to Tee and Mr. Daniel, they are sending gators to “alligator heaven” according to Tee.
Then, trouble raises its head. “Somebody is fishing on top of us,” says Mr. Daniel. He says: “They gotta ‘lotta nerve they fishin’ on our property! Enough of this I’m telling you.”
A plan is hatched. “I am 99% sure I’m gonna catch em,” he says to Tee. Daniel is now whispering. “They will have to get out of the boat to see if they have a gator on the line..I’m gonna approach a man who has a gun, this could get real ugly.”
Oh yeah, dey git outta boat alright…
It’s those f***ing nitwits Brock and Aaron! They are the poachers! They argue with Mr. Daniel and he tells them in no uncertain terms they are on his property. These two morons can’t read a map and they admit they aren’t from around there and apologize profusely as Tee glares at them the whole time. You know Tee wanted to pistol-whip them.
“These are two really young guys just starting out…” says Mr. Daniel who chewed them out Edgar style. Joey is laughing his a** off somewhere.
We close with Ronnie in a panic, Mr. Daniel all hopped up from his poacher sting and Mr. Sterling shaming men half his age as he works from sun up to sundown.
We see that Mr. Daniel is magnanimous y’all, as he be serving up fried frog legs to Brock and Aaron as a peace offering. Joey is cooking, and Tee is eating. Life is back to normal in the swamp. Brock says, “At the end of the day I got a life-long friendship with Mr. Daniel and Tee.”
Heh. Maybe Mr. Daniel, Tee I am not so sure.
See y’all next week.
Swamp People airs Thursdays at 9/8c on History Channel.
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