Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Long recaps The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season 12, Episode 17, The Girl With the Diamond Earrings, with a little help from a glass of Pinot (or two)….
Here ye, here ye – we are gathered in this RHOBH court of public opinion to assess whether Erika Jayne should give back the $750,000 earrings.
Yes, my Housewives-lovers, our latest episode centered around Erika’s super expensive earrings that were allegedly bought with victim money and what she should do with them.
If you ask Garcelle and Crystal – she should give them back.
If you ask Diana Jenkins – anyone who has a problem should fork up their own money and jewelry to donate.
And if you ask Rinna and Sutton …. Rinna and Sutton?
Ah, heck – who gave them the edibles?
Let’s just get into the ugliness that ensued on last night’s episode, shall we?
And if you need a little liquid help, might I suggest Kathy’s tequila? Because sister Kyle sure didn’t want Kathy to have that moment, did she?
The ladies do Aspen things and actually have fun
We begin the episode with the ladies actually having a little fun.
I mean, even Garcelle and Sutton ended up enjoying themselves while being stuck with Erika the whole day for snowmobiling.
The others, including Mauricio in hot pink, went skiing, and let’s just say Dorit proved she is the worst skier out of the bunch.
But at least she was in head-to-toe Fendi – even including her snow helmet. Oy vey.
Let’s just get to what the hot button topic of the night was, aka Lawyer Erika saying she doesn’t give an “ef” about anyone but herself.
Garcelle questions Erika about “earring-gate”
The stage is set as the ladies + Mo all show up to dinner in their Aspen best.
That means that Kyle and Mo wear matching wide-brimmed hats and our Queen, Kathy, comes with a purse that might have come from the grocery check-out lane.
(Someone said he’s turning into Kyle and now I can’t unsee it.)
Garcelle previously chatted with Crystal about the news of Erika’s $750k earrings, and so Garcelle decides to just talk about it to Erika’s face.
After all, she did tell Crystal “I keep staring at her ear” wondering “are THOSE the earrings??”
Garcelle: So, Erika, do you still have the earrings and what are you going to do with them? (I paraphrase.)
Erika: Keep them. Let it play out in court. And it will be justice under the LAW. And if I’m a liar, it will be PROVEN that I’m a liar.
Fast-forward this same conversation to the dinner after-party where it gets REAL ugly.
Crystal to Erika: “Nobody is telling me to care about victims. I care. Let’s get real … there’s dead people that money was stolen from. That’s the f**king facts, dude.”
Kyle (even chiming in): I would at least do something for the victims – while the process plays out.
Erika: The POTENTIAL victims. I don’t give a f**k about anybody but me. And you should only care about me.
Sutton and Rina: The edible has kicked in. (Well-deserved for Sutton, by the way, after last week’s bully attack on her.)
Erika’s cold-heartedness is all too much for Kyle’s ears. It’s not so much what Erika is saying about the victims that is so horrifying to her.
What appears worse is how on Earth would Kyle now be able to defend Erika as her friend after what she is saying.
But this is the first time we’ve seen Kyle really try to stand up to Erika, (I’ll pretend I haven’t seen next week’s preview where Dorit keeps defending Erika to Kyle – a moment only slightly bothersome).
QUICK DORIT AND RINNA! You better get your Ice Queen out of here before she says anything else too damning!
Rinna and Dorit scramble to remove Erika from the situation (with Diana’s assistance), and Erika cusses out the others her whole way out.
Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.
Isn’t Aspen supposed to be fun?! What happened to having fun, “ladies?!”
And with that – I’m out! Kathy, you got any more of that tequila?? I’m more than happy to take it off your hands.
Til next week, my Housewives-Lovers!
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesdays at 8/7c on Bravo.