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Recap: Finale of ‘Below Deck’ Summer Camp 101, The “Liar Liar, Pants on Fire” Edition

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Charter season is over on the Eros, but the crew of “Below Deck” on Bravo had to have one last blow up before the season could end. I have never had such a low opinion of a reality TV star as I currently have of Eddie.

Okay, so he regrets that he fooled around with Rocky. And he knows he’s totally busted. How could he have ever thought nobody would know about the laundry room shenanigans? But the fact that he lied and denied – that he actually confronted a mentally-unstable chick on camera and tried to make her look like a delusional liar – I AM APPALLED.

No really, I’m not a Rocky fan. I think she’s immature and trampy and not that bright. And I think she created a whole relationship in her head that didn’t actually exist with Eddie. But she did bang him. Multiple times. What he did – with that whole audience of people and cameras – was humiliating and awful. I have been an Eddie fan for three years, but no more. He is a terrible, awful, horrible, selfish, mean boy.

The whole finale episode was about this nonsense. It makes me feel sorry for the charter guests (who actually paid to be on the yacht during filming) because if the crew is THAT distracted, really, how good can the service be?

I gained a new respect for Kate Chastain this season. I was really, really hard on her last year because I thought she was mean. I’m not a fan of resting bitch face, and I don’t think it serves you well in the tourism industry. With that said, she maintained her professionalism while stupid things were happening all around her this entire season.

Did anybody else notice that Rocky basically ceased to be a productive member of the stew crew for the last few charters? She’s laundry girl, or she’s drama queen, or she’s a mermaid. But she’s not the stew she’s supposed to be and Amy and Kate are literally do all of the work.

Last season, Kate would have done anything to get out of doing a beach party because she hates them. This season, she’s leaving Rocky aboard to twiddle her thumbs because she knows the girl is a flake and cannot do the job. I admire it when somebody jumps in to fill a hole so that guests never realize there is a problem. We deal with that all the time in weddings.

But I’ve digressed… back to the “Below Deck” finale…

The episode starts with Ben cutting his finger badly while chopping onions. Looked like it hurt! He asks Rocky to help him out and she’s bitchy, but she assists. Ben gives her tips, she makes faces.

Amy notices Rocky’s shitty attitude because it’s too obvious to ignore.

“I’m so over this fucking job,” Rocky says.

“Don’t make my life harder – that’s a warning,” Ben tells Rocky, and it gets her attention. He may be the only one she actually listens to at this point.

“He’s right actually. No more negative, no more negative,” Rocky may have realized what an opportunity she’s blown. Too late to fix it now, though.

They manage to feed the charter guests a really good final dinner, and then they did something really stupid – they released those awful Asian fire lanterns that are illegal most places now.

Yes, it’s pretty (insert “ooo” and “aaahhh” here), but do you really think that any $3 item with a fuel cell, assembled by small children in China, is actually good for the environment? Those things are really bad for a number of endangered species, including turtles that live in the Bahamian waters. I’m sure it was just for the visual for production, and I hope they don’t do it on a regular basis. I was really disappointed.

The next morning, Eddie got pissy with Ben for recruiting the deck crew to help with breakfast since he’s working one-handed. But they feed everybody and get them off the boat so they can split the tip.

Anybody else notice that only the top bill on the tip stacks was Bahamian money? Bad job disguising the US dollars. Wow. Sorry, was just terribly obvious as they showed everybody fanning their wads of cash they’ve earned over the season.

Unexpectedly, Rocky makes an apology to the crew for being a lousy stew all season. Too little too late unless she’s going to start splitting up her tips amongst them, but it was a nice sentiment.

“I know how to do everything now. And I feel like I’m a way better person now than when I walked on this boat,” Rocky says. Useless skills now for her because you’d have to be crazy to hire that woman on your boat.

Captain Lee tells them the owners have arranged a farewell dinner for them that night, and you know that won’t go well. These people should not be allowed to socialize with liquor. But it’s long before they disembark that the shit hits the fan.

Good-hearted Amy decides to warn Eddie that everybody knows he’s bonking Rocky. Eddie flips out and, as I said above, lies. And lies and lies and lies.

“I just wanted to give you like a little heads up.” Amy says. “Rocky is talking about some things between you and her.”

“What? How could she say that shit?” Eddie is aghast. He’s a pretty good actor if you interpret the bright red face as rage rather than humiliation.

He storms down to confront Rocky. Her door is locked so he jimmies it with a pair of scissors. Considering the fact he outranks her, and the fact that he WAS actually bonking her, I’m pretty sure we have some HR issues here below deck. Seriously.

Rocky’s in her bunk hiding under the covers. I think this was the first time I felt sorry for her all season.

“Rocky, if you’re spreading rumors about me, at least talk to me about it,” Eddie says to his audience. Give it up, bro.

“What the fuck did I do to make you treat me like this?” Eddie asks. Seriously? SERIOUSLY??? I wanted to reach through the television screen and slap him. Hard.

“Oh my God. Is he really doing this right now? Is he really trying to make me look like a liar?” Rocky says. She hides under the covers, but what else can she do? He broke into her room. She’s sorta cornered and this time, she’s not the craziest one in the cabin.

“I think this guy is a coward – no balls,” Emile says. I think he’s right.

“Nothing ever happened so I don’t know why you would say it,” Eddie says. Wow, his pants had to be on fire by then. Good lord.

“Why are you in here? Just leave me alone. Just get away from me,” Rocky yells from under the covers. Somebody needs to call Human Resources… just sayin.

“Why would she make that up?” Emile asks. He hates Eddie.

“We hooked up multiple times,” Rocky says.

“I don’t know why she’s trying to bury me. Nothing happened. Nothing happened,” Eddie tells Emile. Ya know, I don’t know why she blew the secret to everybody either, but now that she did, you can’t lie about it without looking like a total asshole. And that’s what Eddie looks like now.

“Maybe she’s trying to make you angry,” Eddie suggests to Emile, pointing out that Emile has had a thing for Rocky all charter season.

“What a complete douchebag,” Emile says. I agree. I just don’t use that particular word.

Connie doesn’t believe Emile when he tells her about Rocky and Eddie.

“Who told you this… who told you that??? I think Rocky is making this up…” Connie has just been offered a full-time position on the Eros (wonder how that works because this is a production yacht crew for one season – guess they hired her on in real life).

“I don’t believe it at all,” Connie says. She has too much respect for Eddie. Hate to say it but she’s in for a big disappointment.

Kate goes to find out what’s going on because it’s impossible to miss the chaos. I LOVED her reaction. She just stays above the bullshit when Eddie tells her. Doesn’t even pretend she believes he didn’t do it. Hysterical.

“Well, good for you, it happens on boats. No big deal. I just wanna make sure you guys aren’t waiting on me, and clearly you’re not,” Kate says and goes back to getting ready.

“First of all, when did you have time to do this??? I don’t care,” Kate says. She’s gotta figure they were doing it when Kate and Amy were doing Rocky’s job for her. “This is my last day and I want to celebrate and think about me, not you.”

“Whatever you did Eddie, I’m proud of you,” Ben says. Of course he is.

“We’ve got this sad little love triangle ruining it all,” Kate says about the final dinner, and she’s right. There’s a weird vibe. But then it gets weirder.

This is like watching Summer Camp 101. Let’s sit around the bonfire the last night and sing songs and forgive each other and promise to keep in touch. Barf.

Rocky confronts Eddie at the bar with the captain. Lee wisely leaves to let them talk.

“You know, I fucked up. I never should have done what I did and I’m sorry for that,” Eddie says before he chews her out for telling people.

He says he feels bad he “treated her poorly.”

And then they hug it out. Seriously??? No way. She was hiding in her bunk while he screamed at her an hour or so before. This is unreal.

“Yes guys, we fucked,” Eddie announces when they return to the group. It’s insane. Rocky is all smiley like it’s great news, and all that earlier drama never happened. It’s like she’s still into Eddie.

“And it was awesome. It was great! Laundry room!” Rocky screams, fist pumping.

Rocky says that now that everybody knows, Eddie might get a blow job. OMG – has she no self-esteem whatsoever?

“It’s like Eddie has been invaded by a body snatcher!” Kate says. I agree.

The captain is not pleased.

“Well Edward, you got your dirty laundry aired but good. I don’t mind telling you that I’m disappointed. It was just a colossal fuck up. And I’m not even gonna sugar coat it for your ass,” Lee says.

“This is probably one of the biggest fuckups of my life,” Eddie agrees.

“Now you need to own it. And realize it’s what you do moving forward that counts,” Lee tells him. Paternal moment. Awww. But again, back to that HR issue with him breaking into Rocky’s room after he slept with her. Would you hire him back in a supervisory capacity for your boat? I would not. Dude is a liability.

“The captain’s very disappointed in me,” Eddie tells the crew when he returns from their little chat. And Rocky gets upset.

“Why did you come up here and talk about a mistake?” Rocky asks. “You’re just doing this to be malicious now.” She doesn’t get it. He’s done irreparable damage to his reputation and his career with the whole stupid stunt. Not to mention that girlfriend back home who just got to listen to the laundry room activities with the rest of us.

“I’m not the one who was going and like, breaking up relationships and fucking people over. I’m not the one going out there trying to destroy reputations,” Eddie says. Did he really think he was going to get away with it? It’s his third season. He knows better.

It’s an inauspicious ending to what was a pretty interesting season. I’m looking forward to fireworks on the reunion next week. Rocky’s going to accuse Kate of being drunk during the entire season. If that’s true, I’m impressed. I’ve been on a reality show, and I know it would take a lot of effort to get away with that in quarters as small as a boat.

Emile says he’s going back to California with Rocky, as friends. Connie’s just glad he’s leaving, and she’s not. Eddie has to go face the music with his girlfriend. Kate and Amy have become best friends. And Kate and Ben have agreed their relationship has no future beyond friendship because they want different things.

But we get to watch all of them scream at each other two more times on reunion shows, so it’s not over yet!

Sandy Malone


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