After partying the night away in Croatia, the crew of Below Deck Mediterranean heads back to the Sirocco.
And after seeing Wes make time with Malia, Chef Adam corners her below deck, and plants a kiss on her.
Meanwhile, Bugsy is telling Wes to go for it with Malia.
“It’s going to be your loss if you don’t go for it,” Bugsy tells Adam.
Lauren’s gossiping about Malia, and she gets caught.
“No, Hannah, if you have something to say, say it to my face,” Malia gets salty when she hears the stews talking about her.
She basically tells them it’s none of their business.
“If you have anything to say, say it to me. Not anybody else. Or you and I will be on the wrong side of the bed,” Malia tells her roommate, Lauren.
“If you don’t want anyone to know, take off your lipstick in the room,” Lauren snarks, and she and Malia exchange jabs.
“I just saw Adam with red lipstick all over his face,” Lauren says.
“You’re going to see Wes and Adam with red lipstick all over their faces,” Malia says. Girl has no shame!
“Everyone wants to know who you made out with but it happens to be both… so now that’s your problem and not mine,” Lauren says.
“It’s not really a problem,” Malia says.
“It’s kind of an issue. Because you’ve got to pick one, or there’s going to be drama,” Lauren says.
They come into the salon where Hannah and Wes are meeting and make a scene.
“For the first time, I actually broke my rule, don’t mix business with pleasure,” Wes says. He’s hurt she hooked up with his roommate.
“I’ve worked on yachts before… maybe you don’t know standards… it’s just not a good look,” Malia says.
The next morning, reality has set in. Adam and Wes wake up as roommates who are after the same girl on the same boat.
“I didn’t do anything wrong and now my roommate hates me,” Lauren complains. Actually, you were a nosy b***h.
There’s a lot of that going on below deck this week.
“I’m kind of wishing now I hadn’t told him to go for it,” Bugsy says, when she finds out Malia gave Adam sloppy seconds.
“I feel like I made out with my boss at an office Christmas party. And his roommate,” Malia says.
Yeah, that’s about right.
“Group hug real quick!” Adam grabs Malia and Wes and gives them both a hug when he sees them. #Awkward
Malia thinks their attitudes mean there’s not going to be any weirdness, but we know that’s wrong.
“I was just wondering who’s the next in line?” Bobby asks Malia.
“I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was a little bit jealous,” Bobby says.
“I guess I just didn’t expect Malia to be with two guys in one night,” Wes tells Bugsy.
Hannah says something to Adam about swooping in on Malia.
“I’m sorry, what do you want me to do? Rub his back, and find him another chick?” Adam asks.
Adam thinks he’s in a better position because Wes is Malia’s boss.
Wes has never broken the sh** where you eat rule before, and he’s not happy with himself.
I don’t think Malia has to worry about which guy wants her anymore. Wes is done.
The new charter guests are returning guests from last season – from the famous threesome episode.
“I’m really hoping they step up their game this year and have an orgy,” Hannah jokes.
“They are rednecks with a sh**load of money,” Bobby says.
Hannah says the group has, impressively, upped their drinking game.
Four of the guests don’t eat onions, but other than that, they’re not picky. But the onions seem to be a major challenge for Adam.
The day just keep getting better as Captain Sandy announces the owner has decided to add a slide and a trampoline to the boat.
I call bulls**t.
Production added the slide because it’s always a clusterf**k and they know it will create drama.
Max says a slide is the thing that usually makes him leave a boat.
“This is the worst thing for any yachtie in the world,” Max says.
Max compares setting up the slide to building IKEA furniture – but with the furniture, you get meatballs. Bahahaha!
It’s a three-day charter and these guests are high maintenance.
The no onions request becomes a problem from the first meal.
“The chef knows best. If you build it, they will come,” Adam says, as he completely ignores their preferences and puts onions in everything.
And guess what? The primary charter guest won’t touch his dinner.
“Hey Hannah, it’s got onions all in it,” the primary charter guest complains.
“The only thing he has on his preference sheet is ‘no onions’ and you put out onions. Why? Why why why???” Hannah asks after the main charter guests sends his dinner back.
So Adam remakes his dinner, and sends it back with chives in it.
Chives are in the onion family, so the primary guest can’t eat that either.
“It’s embarrassing to be pulled aside by the person who’s paying for the charter,” Hannah says, mortified.
“New money – they think that it’s an opportunity to put somebody down,” Adam has an attitude problem.
He’s nasty to Hannah.
“I’m not sending the food back, Adam,” Hannah says, when he takes out his frustration on her
“I’ve got you, you little slut,” Adam says, chopping away.
Did he call Hannah a slut?
“They can f**k off because I don’t care,” Adam snarks. I think he just topped the worst attitude of any Below Deck chef.
Ken, the primary guest, is really polite about the onion debacle.
“I just don’t like when the primary sends food back twice,” Hannah says.
“It’s normal,” Adam says.
Seriously? On what planet is that normal?
“I really don’t care if you’re joking or not, but please don’t’ call me a slut,” Hannah says.
“The fact of the matter is I use that term all the time when I’m disappointed about what’s happening in my life,” Adam says.
“I don’t really think he’s calling the rosemary and the sage sluts,” Hannah says.
The late night hot tub scene isn’t as raunchy as it could be, but the some of the guests are running around the boat without pants.
“I might need to pop off to a liquor store. I thought 20 bottles of vodka would be enough,” Hannah says they went through 14 bottles on day one. OMG.
Late night, Malia relieves Wes for anchor watch.
He’s serious about not going there again with is employee because it was a perfect opportunity, and he just rolled out.
The guests wake up and start sucking down Bloody Marys.
Hannah tells Lauren she’s going ashore ashore to handle a picnic at the waterfalls.
Lauren ask Bugsy to go to the waterfalls with her. She’s overwhelmed. She was all excited to be given the assignment, but she’s a hot mess.
Bugsy tells Hannah. And Hannah gets all touchy about Bugsy overstepping.
But she agrees to send Bugsy along to help make sure it goes smoothly.
“Maybe Bugsy should be the chief stew,” Adam says, trying to start problems.
“Maybe we should get a chef who can read a preference sheet,” Hannah replies.
Next week, Chef Adam serves onion soup to the same guests. Is he trying to get fired?
Things we’re left wondering
Does Adam really think he’s THAT GOOD? Who ignores a food preference like NO ONIONS from the primary charter guest, and thinks sending back dinner TWICE is normal?
Why is Lauren such a whiner? She can’t seem to just suck it up and do her job. There’s always something.
What game is Malia playing? She’s young, but is she really stupid enough to believe that playing two guys on the same yacht is a good idea? This won’t end well.
Below Deck Mediterranean airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.
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