Below Deck Mediterranean recap: The cougar is after Bobby-the-cub edition

Bobby is terrified of guest cougar Tina on Below Deck Mediterranean

At the end of last week’s Below Deck Mediterranean, we saw Malia blowing any chance she ever had with Wes, who is a good guy.

“You’re running back to save that guy after what he’s done? I don’t want anything to do with you,” Wes says.

Malia goes back to the boat and has a cuddle session with poor Chef Adam who almost cost everybody the tip last charter because of his ginormous ego.

“I’m so flattered the Malia came back. I really believe Malia and I may be connecting on a level that’s surpassing yacht relationship,” Adam says.

Back at the bar, Hannah has a drunken chat with Lauren, complaining about Bugsy needing to be “put back into her box.” Ug.

Malia and Adam hit the Jacuzzi. And make plans for a real date.

“I know everyone’s going to be talking, and I don’t care,” Malia says.

“You chose dick,” Wes says.

The rest of the crew spends most of the evening dissecting Adam and Malia, but at least there’s no serious drama.

“First time, shame on you. Second time, shame on me,” Wes says when he catches himself wanting to flirt with Malia the next day. #JustSayNo

The next morning, Captain Sandy tells Adam to get in proper uniform.

Chef Adam’s face when Captain Sandy cracks down on his uniform

He’s says he’s “definitely on Sandy’s radar now.”

Duh, she told him the day before that she wanted to see him wearing proper uniforms.

Bugsy complains about Hannah to Wes. Wes tells her Hannah’s just sensitive because of Adam’s comments about how Bugsy would be a better Chief Stew.

The new primary charter guest is Jason Ziegler. He’s one of Dallas’s most eligible bachelors.

“I think this guy is going to be douchebag central. And if he’s high maintenance, I’ve not doubt his guests will be high maintenance, also,” Hannah says.

They want a seven-course dinner with each course representing a different color for their White Party dinner.

Bugsy confronts Hanna before the guests arrive.

Bugsy confronts Hannah for icing her out at the bar the night before

“I don’t think what he did was right. I didn’t like it… but last night I felt really excluded with you and Lauren,” Bugsy says.

She doesn’t think it’s fair that Hannah is taking out what Adam said on her.

Bugsy just wants Hannah to get her s*** together.

Then Adam asks Hannah if they can have a chat.

“I owe you an apology. I’m really sorry if I maybe called you something I didn’t mean,” Adams says.

How’s that for a crappy apology? If I maybe? #GetALife

Hannah tells him the bigger problem was trashing her in front of her second stew.

“Again, I’m going to keep those sort of comments to myself,” Adam says.

Hannah appreciates the apology but she doesn’t trust him.

All of the guests are pretty people.

“Damn, that photo did not do him justice,” Hannah says when she sees the primary.

“He is so hot – this is going to be a great charter,” Lauren says.

“Hands off b****, I’ll fight you for this one,” Hannah jokes.

Hanna’s trying to figure out what the romance situation is between the guests.

“If anyone was going to tempt me to go there, it would be him,” Hannah admits.

Hannah can’t help flirting with primary charter guest Jason, the most eligible bachelor in Dallas

Captain Sandy calls the crew to the bridge to tell them Malia is going to drive the boat off the pier. #Brave

Malia can’t even get the names of the lines straight. Bobby’s jealous she’s driving the boat – he hasn’t been asked to.

Malia attempting to instruct the crew to cast off, but not getting the names of the lines right

Maybe Captain Sandy is one of the dozen crew who want some Malia. Bahaha!

Captain Sandy makes Adam review all of the menus with her because she doesn’t trust him

Captain Sandy is riding Adam’s a**, and it’s hilarious to watch!

She makes him review the menu with her during dinner prep.

The guests are very interested in the crew.

“Only one of us is single,” the guests tell Bobby.

The guests just can’t leave Bobby alone, and he starts hiding from The Cougar

“I watched you tie up the boat earlier and I thought, oh he can tie me up any day,” the guest they’ve nicknamed The Cougar tells Bobby.

Meanwhile, the gentlemen are flirting with Hannah.

“I’d love a Cosmo, but only if you make it,” Jason tells Hannah.

She teases him about drinking frothy pink drinks.

The guests head down below deck to ask for a tour. Bobby hides from them.

“You guys are going to get me in trouble,” Bobby says.

“I am scared of Tina. The cougar wants the cub. The cub does not want the cougar,” Bobby says.

Hannah volunteers for the late shift, because she’s really enjoying the view.

“That man has a damn good body for 41,” Hannah says.

Bugsy is not impressed with Hannah’s infatuation.

“I’ve never heard of a Chief Stew who flirted with a charter guest. It’s completely unacceptable,” Bugsy says.

“I’m dumfounded by this,” Bugsy says.

And Captain Sandy is right there in the kitchen before the White Party, double-checking the menu with Adam to make sure he doesn’t screw it up, again.

Chef Adam getting his menu approved by Captain Sandy

“Adam, there’s two people who don’t like seafood,” Captain Sandy asks Adam if he’s going to alter the menu to accommodate them.

Lauren’s annoyed Bugsy is acting like her boss.

Hannah worked the late shift the night before, so she takes a power nap before dinner service.

Bugsy takes exception to her boss Hannah napping before dinner service

“I would never leave my girls to set up a huge event by themselves,” Bugsy just can’t stop complaining about Hannah. It’s a bad look.

The primary is pleased with the food.

Jason tells Hannah he’s pleased with the dinner

“I expected the food to be good here, but I didn’t expect it to be this good,” Jason says.

But then Adam sends up a dish with bacon on it to a guest who doesn’t eat pork.

“It’s like she’s trying to ruin my redemption meal,” Adam complains.

Turns out, that guest did not list pork on her list of things she doesn’t like.

He sends up her chicken breast, and that’s a big fail, too.

“There’s so much salt on this, I can’t even eat it,” The Cougar complains.

After dinner, Lauren goes to Hannah to complain about Bugsy bossing her around. Oh the drama! Can’t we all just get along for one freakin night?

Next week, Hannah follows the primary charter guest back to his cabin and hooks up with him – a total no-no. Bugsy tattles and Captain Sandy busts Hannah.

Captain Sandy grilling Hannah for kissing a charter guest

And Malia is kissing Wes again. She’s quite the fickle one.

Things we’re left wondering

Does Malia really not see the problem with making out with two guys on her crew who are also roommates? #BlondeRoots

Has Bugsy been trying to undermine Hannah all along, or did she just get her knickers in a twist because of the way Hannah treated her at the bar?

Why is Max continuing to encourage Bobby to go after Malia? He just won’t give it up, the little s**t stirrer.

Below Deck Mediterranean airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.

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