The tears, the fights, the drama, Chris Harrison in his famous suit, and a whole lot of yelling. No, we’re not talking about night one of The Bachelor, we’re talking about The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All.
During one of the most anticipated episodes of every season, viewers finally get to see the villain they love to hate take the hot seat, the vicious fights that were always looming beneath the surface, and sometimes chicken nuggets and Halo Top ice cream.
Every season of The Bachelorette has moments that will go down in history, but The Men Tell All episode always gives us at least one or two dramatic moments for viewing pleasure.
Get that boxed wine ready! We’re ranking the most dramatic Men Tell All moments in Bachelorette history. Take a drink every time a contestant does something to get on Bachelor in Paradise.
1. Chris Harrison tries to help Yosef… and fails
It was easily one of the most uncomfortable moments in the recent Bachelorette season, and it happened way back when Clare Crawley was still the lead (something producers would clearly prefer you forget.)
Ben Stiller, I’m sorry, I mean Yosef Aborady, verbally assaulting Clare Crawley while she sat there and listened made viewers want to jump through the television screen and shove a rose down his throat.
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Angry about the group date involving strip dodgeball, Yosef told Clare she was “classless” and after storming away yelled out that he “expected more from the oldest Bachelorette.”
During the Men Tell All episode, which Clare was not present for, Chris Harrison tried to play Switzerland and give Yosef a chance to redeem himself. He swiftly declined.
Chris asked, “Just so we’re clear, you’re like, ‘That’s cool. I would never mind anyone talking to my daughter like that’?”
Yosef replied, “If my daughter did something like that, I would hope someone would call her out.”
So, that’s that. See you on Bachelor in Paradise, Yosef!
2. Noah vs Bennett.. again
Bennett Jordan, the villain from every Hallmark Christmas movie ever made, made quite a name for himself during the Clare/Taysia hybrid season of The Bachelorette. In the beginning, he came off as an interesting character who enjoyed wearing sheet masks and would have made a great boyfriend for Elle Woods.
However, later on, he became condescending and pretentious, rubbing many guys in the house the wrong way, especially Noah Erb. Gifting someone a book called “On Emotional Intelligence” is one of the more passive-aggressive things viewers have seen on the show.
The pair didn’t really settle their differences on The Men Tell All episode, but audiences were blessed with this quote from Noah that will most likely go down in Bachelor franchise infamy: “I’ll accept any genuine apology. I can’t tell if that was genuine or not, but I personally think you’re an ostentatious, Harvard d-bag and you’re a condescending prick. I really do. I don’t see us being friends after this.”
3. Luke Parker shows up again during Hannah Brown’s rose ceremony
The Men Tell All usually starts out with Chris Harrison introducing the guys over a chorus of an audience clapping and screaming at a specific volume, indicating how much they like each person. It must be pretty embarrassing to get the slow clap and no scream.
However, Hannah Brown’s Men Tell All episode started out with Luke Parker in a scene reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project. He spoke to the camera, telling viewers, “Hannah thought after sending me in the van that there’s no way I’d want to be with her anymore after the last thing she told me. She’s sadly mistaken.”
Clearly, delusion and misogyny come as a package deal. Luke, hilariously showed up to the rose ceremony and stood next to the other three contestants who didn’t realize he had been sent home.
Hannah showed up and told Luke to go home, eventually moving the podium in a now-iconic Bachelorette moment.
4. Hannah Brown apologizes for inflicting Luke Parker on Bachelor Nation
Later on, during The Men Tell All, Hannah Brown finally apologizes to Bachelor Nation for forcing us to sit through every irritating, condescending, slut-shaming moment that is Luke Parker.
The entire Men Tell All, just like Hannah’s season, was overshadowed by Luke and his judgmental personality. But, in the end, viewers were just happy that Hannah finally saw the light. (Perhaps Luke really did pray over her eventually?)
In the end, Hannah looked directly at the camera and apologized for making audiences suffer through watching Luke, and claimed she was tired of talking about him. She concluded, “The Luke P. show is canceled. We will not renew the season. Again, my apologies and God bless the United States of America. Roll Tide. ”
Perhaps she should also apologize for dumping Tyler Cameron? Our hearts are still not healed after that one. Though, the salmon suit will live on.
5. Emily goes off on Kalon McMahon
Kalon McMahon will forever be remembered as the guy who called Emily Maynard’s daughter “baggage.” Don’t mess with the baby bear if you aren’t willing to fight the mama bear waiting in the wings.
Kalon didn’t do himself any favors on The Men Tell All either, though most season villains never do. Somehow he didn’t see anything wrong with what he said, and claimed “everybody in America likes things to be sugar-coated.” Well, he’s not wrong, seeing as we have one of the highest rates of obesity in the world.
Kalon wasn’t exactly apologetic, and Emily wasn’t feeling very forgiving anyway. She hit him with some iconic zingers, like,” I just hope that you find faith in something bigger than your Prada shoes and your rented helicopter.”
6. Colton Underwood vs everyone
The Men Tell All episodes have basically become one long, extended audition for Bachelor in Paradise. Contestants try their hardest to get in on all the action, hoping to be one more ingredient in the giant mixing bowl that is Bachelor franchise spin-off shows.
Most of the time it comes off looking extremely desperate and is just one step below all the vitamins, hair products and Hello Fresh sponsorships past contestants post on Instagram.
Alas, one of the producers must have had a crystal ball and foresaw that infamous preview in which Colton Underwood jumped a fence and ran off into the night.
During Becca Kufrin’s Men Tell All episode, Colton jumped into just about every argument there was, despite none of the drama actually involving him. Colton called out just about everyone who seemingly deserved it.
Jean Blanc (can someone get this guy his own watch or chocolate company with a name like that?) was pretty irate that Colton wouldn’t even let him get a word in and threw out this line about his virginity: “Colton, you’re acting like a p**y but you’ve never been f**ked.” Do with that what you will.
Jordan, who’s a model in case you forgot, also wasn’t happy with Colton calling him out and threw his relationship with Tia in his face.
Colton clearly came out with guns blazing, but he took on quite a lot of return fire.
7. Bad Chad takes the hot seat with security in the wings
Chad Johnson is easily the most hated villain in The Bachelor franchise. Yelling out “f**k you, Chris Harrison, ” easily sealed his fate on that one. He would be better off kicking a stray puppy on the beach over yelling at Bachelor Nation’s favorite host.
The producers milked Chad for all he was worth, even starting out the Men Tell All episode with the villain stepping out of a fake trailer that had his name on the door. In case we weren’t aware that Chad is very, very bad, he was wearing sunglasses and flanked by a supposed security guard (most likely a lowly intern forced to dress up and play the part.)
It felt like WWF wrestling when the lights would go out and The Undertaker would suddenly appear on stage with theatrics and white eyeballs. Scary, but also extremely fake.
Viewers are shown Chad throughout Jojo’s Bachelorette season, storming around, punching walls, and horror of horrors, ripping Evan’s shirt! Gasp!
Though it was manufactured drama (as most of the drama in The Bachelor franchise is), Chad Johnson brought it to The Men Tell All. Legend says he’s still trying to fit his ego in the door though.
8. Cruel tweets about Kaitlyn Bristowe
Twitter is a great place to share thoughts, and interesting news articles, however, it has also become a place full of anonymous trolls and hateful comments.
During Kaitlyn Bristowe’s Men Tell All episode, the elephant in the room decided to show itself and trample everything in its path. During The Bachelorette, it was revealed that Kaitlyn and Nick had sex, leading to criticism and slut-shaming, a major double standard.
By the time The Men Tell All episode aired, Twitter was full of hateful vitriol directed at Kaitlyn, so of course, Chris Harrison had to read some of the comments out loud.
For example, “Kaitlyn, you need to unspread your w***e legs and shut your…filthy diseased mouth and f**k off.”
It made for extremely uncomfortable viewing, and members of the live studio audience made sure to put on their most shocked and disgusted faces. Producers smiled to themselves, satisfied with ratings gold.
The Bachelorette finale airs Monday, December 21 and Tuesday, December 22 at 8/7c on ABC.