Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap: When bored housewives play Telephone, it never ends well

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Eden throwing Lisa Rinna under the bus with Lisa Vanderpump on this week’s RHOBH

Thanks to nosy new girl Eden Sassoon, Lisa Rinna is in trouble for running her mouth about Kim Richards, again. And there’s going to be hell to pay with Kyle.

Last week ended with Eden s**t-stirring about Kim, and ruining the Gatsby party for Kyle, wanting to talk to her about helping her sister. Eden is determined to insert herself into Kim’s sobriety, whether anybody wants her there or not.

Since the beginning of the season, Eden has systematically poked and prodded every single cast member to get as much information about Kim and Kyle as she can. Seeing them makes her think of her own sister who overdosed, and she wants to preach about sobriety to everybody.

Of course, if she’s truly sober, she wouldn’t be bragging about popping pills to Dorit Kemsley and Lisa Rinna, right? Dorit has had quite a time telling EVERYBODY about the sandwich baggie of random pills that Rinna carries in her purse.

“We sorta bonded over Xanax and smoothies,” Dorit says.

I’ll admit, I did a double take, too. But this doesn’t bode well for Dorit and Rinna’s second whack at a friendship.

All of the girls were smart enough not to buy into Eden’s nonsense about Kim, except, of course, Lisa Rinna. She runs her mouth and expresses opinions right after she’s finally made up with Kim for the things she said about her last time. Those big lips sure do get her into trouble.

Following her altercation with Kyle at the party, Eden calls Lisa Vanderpump and tells her she needs to see her to tell her something important.

“I don’t know why you wanted to see me,” Lisa says, frostily, when Eden arrives.

When Eden starts talking about Kim, Lisa shuts her down like the classy woman she is.

“Why do you have to be THAT involved?” Lisa calls Eden out for sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong. Then Eden claims she never doubted Kim’s sobriety. #LiarLiarPantsOnFire

Eden proceeds to completely throw Lisa Rinna under the bus, telling Lisa Vanderpump that it was Rinna who first brought the idea of Kim falling off the wagon, and being near death, to her attention.

“We were shopping and Rinna said to me, ‘I don’t think she’s sober’,” Eden says. Then we see a montage of all the stupid things Rinna did say, and we realize that it doesn’t matter that Eden started it, Lisa Rinna is going to be in a whole lot of trouble.

“Oh my God, Rinna has a big mouth,” Lisa complains in interview.

That’s true, but I wouldn’t be so quick to believe your new buddy Eden, either. She’s got an agenda.

Eden convinces Lisa that Rinna is the root of all evil, but we know that Eden was the one who started it all. Lisa tells Eden that she’s going to tell Kyle everything.

Meanwhile, Lisa Rinna goes to see Kyle at her boutique. Seems like she’s spending a lot of money there these days. #GuiltyConscience?

Kyle asks Rinna about the Eden and Kim thing, and Rinna plays dumb, but says she thinks Eden has good intentions. It’s like the worst foreshadowing of the explosion we know is yet to come.

A few days after that, Kyle and Maurizio take a group of the cast to Punta Mita, Mexico, where he’s opening up a new real estate office. Kyle flies down with Lisa, Ken, Dorit, PK, and Erika. Lisa and Eileen are due to join them the next day.

Eileen appears to be busy with her shrink. Ugh. I don’t need to see Eileen’s therapy sessions. Eileen is such a diva, I have trouble feeling any sympathy for her.

Rinna’s daughter Delilah booked her first New York fashion show, modeling for Tommy Hilfiger with Gigi Hadid, so she’ll fly from New York to Mexico to join the crew. Bad move being last to arrive.

Camille Grammer is also in New York to see her daughter in a fashion show, so they have lunch together. Camille tells Rinna to stop sticking her nose in with Kim. Rinna pushes back…she’s a glutton for punishment. Again, foreshadowing.

Meanwhile, in Mexico, the trip starts out great, and the girls have a blast jetskiing. All of the girls except Lisa, who stays on shore to watch, and laugh at them.

Kyle may look like a speed demon, but Dorit was behind her telling her to stop driving like an old lady!

“Lisa Vanderpump is worried that her lashes are going to blow off. I know her,” Kyle jokes.

Erika’s a holy terror on a jetski. But she was a trooper when she threw herself off it and had to climb back on. I like her more every episode.

“Bitch, open it up, let’s go,” Erika yells as she takes off at full speed.

But after a great day at the beach, Lisa has to go and blow it by telling Kyle what Eden told her. They go for a walk before dinner, and Lisa gives her the 411 on what Eden says Rinna said.

Lisa tells Kyle that Rinna told Eden that Kim is near death. Go ahead, take a second and read that back to yourself. This is like the worst game of upper middle-aged telephone I’ve ever seen.

“Rinna has said that she doesn’t believe your sister is truly sober, and that’s she is near death,” Lisa reports. Easily believable because Rinna has a track record with this.

“They’re making up their own f***ing story,” Kyle rages that because she leaves Rinna out of what’s really going on in her life, she makes things up as she goes along.

Kyle is pissed!

“Lisa Rinna needs to sew her f***ing lips shut,” Kyle rages.

At dinner, Kyle announces to the group that things are going to heat up because Rinna and Eileen are arriving the next day. And then she tells everybody what Lisa Vanderpump told her Eden told her that Lisa Rinna said. You still with me? Yeah, I know. It’s confusing.

“Do you think Eden’s intentions are good?” Erika asks. Hallelujah! Erika is dialed right into what’s going on while everybody else is planning Rinna’s funeral. Erika’s the only one who hasn’t convicted Rinna based on the telephone game.

“I honestly don’t believe that Eden made that up,” Kyle says. “The real culprit here is Lisa Rinna.” Boom! I called that.

Kyle is so upset that she looks like hell at breakfast the next morning, and I actually feel sorry for her.

Then Rinna arrives, yelling hello enthusiastically, and Kyle gives her an icy greeting. Suddenly, I feel much sorrier for Rinna. Kyle is going to eat her alive.

Most ridiculous line of the night:

Eileen’s therapist coaching her on her self esteem.

“Are you telling yourself how loveable you are…you’re truly loveable,” the shrink repeats over and over, like a mantra. WTF?

Inquiring minds want to know:

  • What’s with the cheesy barrettes on Kyle and Erika? The little metal push clips you buy at the drugstore. Both ladies can afford better hair adornments. Maybe that’s a look — but they’re both 20 years too old for it. Time to upgrade. I dunno…maybe it’s what works best when you have more extensions than actual hair on your head.
  • Where did Eden come from? What does she add to the show other than drama? They didn’t need her for — they have plenty. Can’t we all just leave poor Kim Richards alone, as long as she stops shoplifting?
  • How long are we going to have to wait to see Erika tear into Dorit, and call her on her bulls**t? The teasers are killing me!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs at 9/8 c on Bravo.

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