My Big Fat Fabulous Life: Whitney has a hot (and sweaty) date and plans revenge

Whitney meets Nathan, her internet date, on My Big Fat Fabulous Life Photo/TLC
Whitney discovers she was robbed during the dance-off with Jiya on My Big Fat Fabulous Life

Whitney was raging on My Big Fat Fabulous Life this week, and I can’t really blame her.

Though she’s been trying to forge ahead with a new and improved big, fat, fabulous life, she can’t seem to catch a break — and only some of it is Jiya’s fault.

Why exactly does Whitney spend so much time listening to her mom insult her?

Whitney’s mom Babs complains about everything, but this ain’t no sitcom

I understand that she’s supposed to be comic relief, but I’m not sure how funny it is on a reality TV show to watch an old woman tell her daughter to get married as soon as possible, forget any standards she might have, and consider an escort service for reasons I still don’t understand.

This may work on a sitcom with skilled actors who actually understand comedic timing, but watching Whitney roll her eyes as her mom fluffs her hair isn’t exactly a laugh riot.

Once Whitney has been sufficiently insulted for the week, it’s time to get a tattoo done chosen by her friend Tal, and choose one for him in return.

Whitney gets a tattoo on her back chosen by her friend Tal

While I didn’t think Whitney’s was all that (the diamond in the middle of the arrow made it look like a traffic sign), Tal chose amazingly well for her.

Poetry and lightning bolts? Well played, Tal! Really, I’m just happy no one picked a cat, a cat souffle, or Piano Cat. It would have been on-theme for the episode.

The big drama for the episode was that Whitney got online to find a date — and hooked a guy seemingly in minutes while every single woman watching the show stabbed herself with a fork.

Nathan actually seems like kind of a catch, shockingly enough.

Whitney meets Nathan, her internet date, and he gives her a bunch of roses

Nathan actually makes an effort to learn what Whitney likes before they’ve even met (he wants to take her salsa dancing!).

He texts politely and brings flowers to their date. He doesn’t hunt for sport. He’s perfect! What could possibly be wrong?

Oh, let’s get to that.

Whitney has her suspicions that he might be too country for her — he grew up on a farm, after all.

It’s only once they start talking that he admits, well, he grew up in a very strict, religious household. Whitney’s eyes grow wide.

Could he be Pentecostal? This seems to be a bridge too far for her, but wait! Um, his people speak in tongues, you know.

I wonder if he’s saving the part about handling venomous snakes for the second date.

Nathan also reveals he has two teenage kids, loves country music (Whitney hates it, natch) and, oh yeah, the dealbreaker — he hates cats.

I’m thinking this would be a good time for Whitney to grab her purse and go, but nope. It’s time to salsa!

Whitney and Nathan try salsa dancing, and it’s as awkward as she expected

She was worried this might be an awkward first date, and it is.

She sweats, they step on each other’s feet, there’s a lot more touching than I think either of the was prepared for. Still, Nathan is a perfect gentleman.

He concedes he could get used to cats, and Whitney admits the two kids are a bit of a surprise.

They have a pretty nice evening, if you don’t count the sweating. While she has reservations, Whitney is going to give Nathan a chance, which seems entirely fair.

He doesn’t seem to speak in tongues anymore, so there’s that.

Meanwhile, Whitney and Buddy suffer through a hellish Barbell for Boobs fundraising workout for a whole 13 minutes, but that isn’t Whitney’s biggest challenge of the week.

After being trounced by Jiya at the dance battle, she walks into the radio station to discover her producer has the scores from the battle.

Two of the three judges voted for Whitney’s team to win — and the third judge, who is clearly a jerk, gave her team such low marks he pulled down her overall score.

Whitney is furious. Whitney wants to rage about this — and Maney and Roy tell her to get out of the studio, because they hate lively discussions on the air. What?

Anyway, Whitney wants a rematch — the problem will be getting Jiya to do it.

I suspect Jiya will, of course, because television and that enormous ego, but I hope Whitney figures out a way to dump that third judge or find out why he was such a jerk.

If it’s because kids can’t go home without trophies, I think Whitney should find her dancing sticks and hit him with them.

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