Ramsay Bolton (Iwan Rheon) famously said it during HBO’s Game of Thrones: “If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.”
And this absolutely rings true for the Season 8 finale. However, in saying that, HBO also manages to give the epic fantasy series a conclusion that is satisfying to its legion of fans.
Although, as Cosmopolitan points out, many fans actually hated the ending. But, that was to be expected, to be honest, and I totally disagree with them, so come @ me. I am ready.
So, without further ado, here’s what went down in Episode 6 of Game of Thrones.
The bells tolled in Episode 5 but now there is nothing but silence
Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) walks through the devastation of King’s Landing as the Season 8 finale episode of Game of Thrones opens as it appears that Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) has finally stopped burning sh*t to the ground.
However, the settling dust does not paint a prettier picture. The bells tolled for surrender and Daenerys ignored them in Episode 5. Innocent people are dead. Children are dead. It’s all there as plain as day.
Arya Stark (Maisie Williams) seems to have ditched her white horse as nothing more than a pretty prompt for those who like to read the Bible and Game of Thrones in general. She is now creeping around King’s Landing and noticing exactly what is going down
And what that is would be Daenerys’ armies being horrible as the Dothraki celebrate and Grey Worm (Jacob Anderson) kills Cersei’s (Lena Headey) army just because he can.
Came to this world together and left together. Best ending for Jaime and Cersei your faves could NEVER. pic.twitter.com/pgmwUE3DcC
— world ♡ princess part II (@___IDORU) May 20, 2019
The Lannisters are reunited
Tyrion has had a rough day at the office. Not only is his boss f*cking sh*t up by burning the opposition to the ground, but he is being called out for treason and having to deal with the fact his boss’ opposition is literally all of his family.
So, to make matters worse, he now locates his brother, Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) who he freed in Episode 5 of Game of Thrones Season 8, causing him even more grief in this episode.
Now, releasing Jaime may be a treasonous act but, seriously, it doesn’t matter anymore because Jaime is dead, his arms wrapped around Cersei (Lena Headey), who is also dead.
But, being the sort of Mad Queen that Daenerys is, this doesn’t sit well and Tyrion is still imprisoned for treason after Tyrion throws back his Hand pin.
Can someone give Jon Snow another line other then "She is the queen" "She's my queen" "queen" "the queen" "qin" "qen" "Q" "?" #GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/d6Bru1cwtz
— Erica Marie?✨ (@eisfabulous) May 20, 2019
Jon Snow continues to spout his Season 8 line
“She is my queen,” Jon has said repeatedly over the course of Season 8 of Game of Thrones. The Season 8 finale episode was no exception. However, Tyrion tries hard to get Jon to ‘fess up to the fact that he is actually her king and that Daenerys is batsh*t crazy.
Jon argues right back and it looks grim. After all, Jon sucks at lying and he is not about to not tell Daenerys about what just happened.
Except, for this one time.
Instead, after watching Daenerys have a quiet moment with the Iron Throne and telling him a story about how she couldn’t even imagine as a child what it looked like, Jon starts right in about how she slaughtered everyone. She counterargues and it looks like Jon comes under her spell as they kiss.
However, he stabs her instead and she dies in his arms.
Drogon didn’t kill Jon because he didn’t blame him for killing Daenerys, he blamed the iron throne. Drogon knew that the iron throne killed his mother, Drogon finished his mother’s wishes and broke the wheel! this scene was heartbreaking? #GameOfThrones pic.twitter.com/nt0g6pNPPZ
— Sohaib Shoukat (@itssohaibme) May 20, 2019
Well, that escalated quickly
Drogon knows right away that Daenerys is dead and comes into the throne room. Jon stands up, expecting to become a barbeque snack but Drogon is more p*ssed at the Iron Throne and melts that sucker down.
He then carries off Daenerys to wherever the hell dragons take their dead mothers and Jon is left to ‘fess up to killing the queen.
As to be expected, he gets arrested.
All hail Bran the Broken! #GOTFinale #gameofthrones #BranStark pic.twitter.com/c73CXUPldv
— Keith Swartwood (@kws_79) May 20, 2019
The birth of democracy
For eight seasons, the fight has been on to claim the Iron Throne, to become the ultimate ruler of the seven kingdoms. But, who knew that Game of Thrones was really about democracy?
However, it actually kind of works and for once — and because David Benioff and D. B. Weiss had a Stars Wars appointment they had to keep — the highest positioned people in the lands (who used the magical time travel option now available in Westeros) actually have a civilized conversation about handing the power to the people to vote in a ruler.
However, before they can, Westeros will get one last ruler: Brandon Stark (Isaac Hempstead Wright).
Now, before you start laughing, let me call in Tyrion’s argument here. Bran knows absolutely everything about Westeros. The past, the present, the future.
So, he is probably the absolute best to lead considering he has previously admitted that he doesn’t even “want” anymore.
And, everyone votes on that to a chorus of “Ayes.”
Except for Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner) who has been a secret contender for the Iron Throne since even before she decided to stop taking sh*t from the men in her life.
But, because everyone has their big girl panties on today, they all get along and allow Sansa to be Queen in the North and Bran is now the ruler of the Six Kingdoms.
But wait, there’s more
Jon is sentenced to live out his life at Castle Black because — as Tyrion puts it — they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t regarding killing him.
So, off Jon goes.
Except, he gives zero f*cks about what anyone says and — after a hearty reunion with Ghost, leaves with Tormund (Kristofer Hivju) and the rest of the wildlings. Which makes him the equivalent of Mance Rayder (Ciaran Hinds) now, I guess.
Sansa finally gets to wear her very own crown and the North cheer in their new queen.
Arya heads off to search the unknown world west of Westeros and becomes the Westerosi version of Christopher Columbus.
Gendry: Where’s Arya?
Sansa: Going west
— peep (@TheGeekyPeep) May 20, 2019
Bronn (Jerome Flynn) finally gets his castle and he considers his debt settled. He is also made the Master of Coin and he and Tyrion (also reinstated as the Hand) can continue to be mates once more.
Other loose ends tied up includes Grey Worm heading off to Naarth and Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie) writing a rather nice review about Jaime in the book of King’s Guards that was totally undeserved.
T*ts and Dragons Meter
0 out of 5 for t*ts. But, in a season such as the final one for Game of Thrones, nudity has been surprisingly absent. Perhaps, HBO is taking itself too seriously now?
4 out of 5 for dragons. Drogon caused so much havoc in Episode 5 of Game of Thrones Season 8, I didn’t expect much in the Season 8 finale.
However, poor Drogon had me crying as he burned the iron throne to the ground and tenderly picked up Daenerys before flying away with her limp body. I’m not crying, you are.
5 out of 5 for Ghost. I know that Ghost is neither t*ts or dragons but he finally got his hug from Jon and I think that deserves recognition!
This was the final episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones. However, a new prequel series set in the same universe as Game of Thrones is currently in production by HBO.