Last week, “The Mother/Daughter Experiment” on Lifetime ended with Natalie Nunn in a tizzy because Courtney said she thought she heard somebody saying her name in another room.
She screams and yells at a bunch of people who weren’t talking about her, and then acts like a bitch to her mother instead of recording their nightly confessional. Her mother tells her to sit down and shut up.
“Nobody tells me to shut the fuck up,” Natalie yells at her mom.
I get the impression Karen is just fed up. She says her daughter has never known when to shut up. Natalie blames her mother for her shitty attitude.
“You know what, I’m tired. I just want to go to bed. She didn’t want to get out of my face,” Karen says. Natalie likes to fight.
Finally, Natalie backs off her mom, only to go out and learn that nobody was talking about her after all.
“Maybe I heard wrong,” Courtney says. Nice one.
The girls go downstairs to unwind (translation: drink), and the moms are all in bed… except Jessica Canseco. Her daughter, Josie, is in bed, and mom is out partying. Again.
“I can’t wait to black out,” Jessica says to Natalie and Heidi. What a role model!
“If that’s my mom being a fucking freak show, I’m going to snap,” Josie says when the noise invades her bedroom. She goes downstairs to see what the brouhaha is.
“She’s like totally ruining my buzz,” Heidi says.
Natalie admits she likes messing with Josie’s head.
“Don’t push it,” Josie says to Natalie. “You guys are just a bunch of fucking assholes.” And she leaves.
“Cheers to her being in bed,” Jessica is celebrating with Natalie and Heidi again, being total #MeanGirls about her own daughter. This mom is from hell. I just want to reach through the screen and slap her for Josie. Repeatedly.
The group therapy the next morning is about issues that have been swept under the rug.
“Almost every single problem no matter how big or small begins with bad communication,” Dr. Debbie Magids says.
She starts with Krista, a guaranteed shit show.
Krista says she’s swept under the rug “the real reason why I’m no longer Courtney’s manager.” Bullshit. She is now using a televised therapy session to try to prove she didn’t get fired by her daughter, she quit.
“I’m feeling like once again it’s strictly about business,” Courtney rants. She should be mad. Mom is nuts.
“Krista’s been on another planet since we started this experience,” Cassie says.
“I don’t want to be famous. I want to be successful. I feel like that’s my right,” Krista says.
Courtney says her mom never accepts responsibility – but she’s wrong about that. Krista is going to be sharing entirely too much detail, and culpability, before the episode ends. And next week, too! But I digress…
Dr. Debbie calls out Krista for not listening. And tells them she doesn’t want details about anything, anymore.
“You guys talk so much and say absolutely nothing!” she says.
Natalie and Karen were the most disturbing. It was the most dramatic view into what a completely cold-hearted, calculating, selfish bitch Natalie Nunn has become. She is every bit of BAD that her reality TV image presents, and a bunch more. She’s just a bad person. Mean, mean, mean.
Karen felt like the end of her 22-year relationship was swept under the rug because Natalie didn’t care. Karen was devastated and needed her daughter’s support. Oh, and she just buried her mother very recently and her daughter was AWOL for that, too. Karen didn’t bring that up, I just wanted to remind you.
“I’m not trying to be a selfish person, but I don’t have time for that right now… I don’t care about that situation,” Natalie is one cold-hearted bitch. And she doesn’t have to TRY to be selfish. She IS selfish, 24/7.
“Everyone is kinda just in shock,” Cassie says. It’s uncomfortable to be in proximity to such cruelty.
Natalie is screaming at her mom and her mom is crying and Dr. Debbie observes that Natalie is saying “I don’t give a shit.” And she means it.
“You shut down when it’s not about you. She’s a human being with feelings,” Dr. Debbie says. Shame on you, Natalie!
“I want to remind you that last week you were weeping over your mother’s grave,” the doctor says.
Kimberly thinks her problems with Kim stem from Kim’s relationship with her own mother. Her mom physically took care of her ailing grandmother, and Kimberly has been emotionally caretaking her mother all of her life.
Heidi’s mad about the way her mother has dealt with her husband Spencer. She won’t force him to talk through issues with her mom, but she’s willing to ask him to talk to her.
“I would absolutely choose Spencer over my mom,” she says. We know that. She has before. Normally, I’d say it’s a good thing. But Spencer Pratt is a notorious reality TV bad boy with some questionable morals and behavior.
“My daughter’s TV personality doesn’t match who she actually is,” Darlene says. She said she thinks Heidi embraced the “bad girl” image and ran with it, and changed into something she isn’t.
“I think you still feel that way… I don’t want to feel like you only accept a part of me,” Heidi says. I imagine it’s hard for any mom to accept their daughter turning herself into something most people criticize. She and Karen have a lot in common.
“I’m a reality star. This is my life!” Heidi says. Only if you choose to be that person. Totally up to you.
In a scary/stupid move, the doctor tells them to stop holding back their feelings and sweeping things under the rug. That’s like a free pass to tear the hell out of each other later that night.
Heidi’s on a rant about Kim being late to everything. Heidi always does this – she did it on “Marriage Boot Camp” – she picks on another couple to make herself feel better.
“If the Kims make me late again, it’s going to be a problem,” Natalie says.
Dr. Debbie told them to be “who I am” so Heidi takes that as permission to go lecture Kim for being late to sessions. Kim basically shuts the door in her face. Kim has been late. But Heidi outdid Kim’s rudeness by dressing her down for it.
Kimberly is worried about what her mom is going to do, but Kim is actually pretty classy when she confronts Heidi and makes Heidi look pretty stupid.
Natalie switches teams and backs up Kim, busting Heidi for having been late the first day. Heidi gets pissed. But not too pissed to drink with her.
Again, isn’t there a little too much alcohol in this house for the program to be therapeutic? Just saying.
Heidi was late to the first day of filming because she was completely shitfaced. We all saw the condition she was in when she arrived on the first episode. Kind of ironic that she’s beating up Kim for her own issues.
“Sharlock Holmes” sets out to find out what’s up with Krista and Courtney during the break.
“Sometimes Krista seems to me like she’s home, but she didn’t turn the lights on,” is Shar’s assessment of the explanation of how her daughter ended up marrying a guy in his 50s at age 16.
Krista basically spills the beans and admits she did everything Courtney has accused her of doing, she just phrases it in an icky way that is supposed to make her look blameless. Impossible.
“I get that Krista wants to tell her story,” Shar says. “But I don’t think she realizes she’s telling everybody I basically just cheated with my daughter’s husband.”
Shar’s facial expressions are priceless!!! And she’s doing them to Krista’s face and Krista just keeps talking, and talking, and talking.
Shar schools Krista after her confession.
“She needs you to take ownership of that moment,” Shar says.
Their next therapy exercise is supposed to put communication skills to the test. They have to build a piece of furniture together – with one building and the other reading directions.
Oh wait, are we watching WEtv’s “Marriage Boot Camp” again? C’mon guys, try coming up with some new challenges. Same shit, different show.
With that said, it’s obvious none of these women have ever assembled IKEA furniture before – they’re all looking for the words.
“I mean, can’t we just go to the store and buy a vanity?” Courtney asks.
Krista actually breaks the mirror.
“We are doomed,” Courtney says.
There was so much beeping out of the obscenities that I can’t even tell what they’re saying, but most of the mother/daughter pairs don’t do very well.
“Karen’s about to get thrown over the hill,” Natalie threatens.
Shar and Cassie did the least arguing and successfully completed their vanity.
“Literally record time”, Dr. Debbie says. This is a new show, so I’m guessing she’s comparing their time to the couples in previous seasons of “Marriage Boot Camp.” Bahaha! Sorry, that’s not nice. But I couldn’t help it.
So after the exercise is over, things get really interesting because Courtney starts sharing all the gory details of what happened with her mother and her husband with the other girls.
Apparently, her husband told Courtney what her mom was up to, and had her spy to see it happen. And it did.
“Yes, I fucking saw it, Natalie… I saw it with my own eyes,” she tells the girls she watched her mother making the moves on her husband.
“She’s say ‘My garden isn’t being watered by my husband,’ Courtney tells the girls how her mother tried to get into her son-in-law’s pants. Ew. #Ick!
Shortly thereafter (production timelines are always a little fuzzy), Courtney and Krista get into a screaming match while filming interviews, and everybody else runs to listen.
Heidi is more entertained than concerned. She also looks shitfaced, btw.
“Why don’t you ask your husband what his fantasy was about you AND me?” Krista screams and Courtney walks out. OMG, did she really go there? This lady keeps making herself look worse and worse.
“If my mom leaves, I fear that it will be the end of our relationship forever,” Courtney says.
If I were Courtney, I’d be like “don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.” That woman is absolutely cray-cray. Start hoping you were found in a cabbage patch.
Next week, apparently, it gets even grosser with Krista telling Karen the details of how her son-in-law wanted her to teach her daughter, Courtney, how to please him… OMG! I cannot believe she said that on a reality TV show. She just wants fame – she doesn’t care about getting her daughter back, at all.
There’s some other stuff happening next week, too. But c’mon, nothing is going to be as lurid, and revolting, and totally train-wreck can’t-look-away-fascinating as Courtney and Krista.
Sandy Malone is the star of TLC’s reality show “Wedding Island” and a regular blogger for the Huffington Post and Monsters and Critics. Sandy is the owner of Weddings in Vieques, a successful Caribbean destination wedding planning company based on Vieques Island just off the coast of Puerto Rico. She also owns Weddings in Culebra, Flowers on Vieques and Boutiques in Vieques. Please follow her on Twitter!