Last night’s Real Time with Bill Maher had no Hollywood celebrities, but Maher’s panel of pundits, reporters and environmentalist activists touched on major issues of substance that people are concerned about such as climate change.
Yet it was Maher’s closing argument in his New Rules segment that made a point of urging Democrats to elevate some flawed but effective candidates to compete with the “pussy grabber” currently in office.
Using some notable Democratic sexual scallywags like Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards, and Anthony Weiner, Maher lauded some of their “alpha male” qualities and urged people to overlook their scandalous personal lives.
Of the uneven playing field for the two parties, Maher said: “Trump supporters just make a different calculation they say, ‘no I don’t like cheating and pussy grabbing but hey this ain’t a friendly fight.’ ”
He continued: “[This] for the soul of the country …and since it is Democrats should be allowed to put our alpha pervs back on the board. We don’t have the luxury anymore to mess around with milquetoast Democratic politicians who don’t move people. [former Democratic vice presidential candidate] Tim Kaine is a nice guy but he’s a kind of boring beta male. This made the Democrats the designated driver party. As ridiculous as Trump is he does come off as an alpha, that’s why he paints his face the color of a baboon’s ass! It shows dominance.”
“So if Trump is indeed the new normal, if it’s now perfectly fine for the American president to be Bill Cosby with a super PAC, Then Democrats have to go all out too and that means [Eliot] Spitzer and that means [Anthony] Weiner and by the way, next time he runs… MORE Anthony Weiner… he’s Carlos Danger! F*** yeah! Own that sh**,” urged Maher.
“Carlos Danger, a Latino Jew whose tanned, rested and fully erect at all times…and restoring Weiner…I mean Danger! That would send the message. although wait…maybe there’s still someone even worse and by worse, I mean better. John Edwards that’s right John Edwards. Yes, I know left his sick wife to have an affair with Peter Frampton…We should be able to put OUR alpha pervs back on the board!”
In the opener, Maher always circles back to the sins of the Trump White House. He said: “This Russian spy novel we’ve all been reading, turns out to be a real page-turner doesn’t it?
He added: “The national security advisor has to step down because we found out he was lying about talking to the Russians. Now our attorney general this week, a thousand-year-old cracker named Jeff Sessions, he had to recuse himself from the investigation, and you know, Trump said ‘I don’t know anybody,’ does Trump know anyone who doesn’t talk to the Russians? It’s like six degrees of Kevin Putin!”
Top of the show interview and Trump supporter Jeffrey Lord charms Bill, sort of.
Maher opened noting Lord’s affable reputation. He said: “This [media] is a small circle the media I talk to, people you talk to, people the Washington people like you who come out here [and] everybody says you’re the nicest guy in the world. Genteel, polite, what do you see in Donald Trump? Because to me, he’s not just the most vulgar politician we’ve ever had right? To me he’s the most vulgar human being.”
An unlikely “star” of the evening was the academic who sounded the warning alarm about Trump’s reign of terror on the US environment.
Mid-show guest Bill McKibben, author, educator, environmentalist, and co-founder of 350.org, plainly spoke of the facts and challenges those fighting for clean water, air and fossil fuel lobbyists are facing in the hostile political environment that denies climate change.
McKibben gave a partial litany of worrisome rollbacks for those studying and trying to control man-made climate change.
He said: “The level of just complete corruption from the fossil fuel industry that marks this administration is like nothing we’ve ever seen.”
He said: “Here’s a lot of that going around earlier this afternoon the EPA under Mr. [Scott] Pruitt announced they would budget cuts, leaked out. Not only are they going to cut by 97% the amount of money they’re spending to try and improve water quality in the great lakes which finally begun to improve, same thing at San Francisco Bay Puget Sound, Chesapeake Bay…good thing that no one lives in any of these places!
McKibben was enthused about the coming marches planned in Washington D.C..
After noting the “silver lining of the resistance” which appeared in huge numbers in Los Angeles for the women’s march, he said: “On April 22nd, the Scientists March and [then] on April 29th is the Climate March in Washington D.C. ”
The recent phenomenon of Oklahoma’s frequent earthquakes was also discussed. He said of Oklahoma, a region of the USA famous for tornadoes, now more seismically unstable than California: “Oklahoma for as long as we have known, was seismically inert and as stable as it was a possible to be. Now it shakes a lot more than California, it’s the most seismically active place on the continent because we’ve done nothing but frack it for the last 10 years and force all this water back underground into wells on the faults.”
The New Rules urged Democrats to get over their “bad boys” and wake up: “We need our loudmouth kick ass New Yorker who’s up all night on social media… the Democrats need to resurrect Eliot Spitzer and Carlos Danger, aka Anthony Weiner.”
He said of the political sex scandals of yore: “All the Democrat horn dogs have to go live on a farm but the Republican hound is allowed up on the furniture in the Oval Office. Who cares if Eliot Spitzer wanted a bust a nut so what? He also wanted to bust bankers and insider traders and did!… We need balls!”
Overtime bonus: The White House correspondents’ dinner, “it’s bullshit, a dumb thing,” says Maher:
Real Time will Bill Maher airs Fridays at 10:00pm ET on HBO.