Can you Adam and Eve it? Cockney Rhyming slang is without doubt one of the most beautiful and hilarious expressions of the English language anywhere in the world.
Both poetic and utterly bizarre, it sees a combination of odd phrases used to replace simple every-day words.
Used since the mid-19th century by tough working class types in the East End of London – the Cockneys after which it is named — it is a treasure to behold.
Here are some of the best phrases to practice on your friends…
1 Khyber Pass (arse/ass)
As in: “He’s really annoyed me, I’m going to kick him up the Kyber Pass.”
2 Brahms and Liszt (pissed..as in drunk)
As in: “I’ve had five pints of lager and am totally Brahms and Liszt.”
3 Gregory Peck (Cheque)
As in: “You haven’t been paid yet? The Gregory Peck’s in the mail old chap.”
4 Richard the 3rd (turd)
As in: “That dog just laid a great big Richard the 3rd right in the middle of our garden.”
5 Bread and honey (money)
As in: “I bloody hate horse racing, I can’t believe I just lost so much Bread and honey.”
6 Aristotle (bottle)
As in (while expressing fury at someone who got one over on you): “That guy’s got some Aristotle.”
7 Oily rag (fag..as in cigarette)
As in: “I can’t believe I’ve run out of oily rags.”
8 Rub-a-dub (pub)
As in: “I’m going down the rub-a-dub to drown my sorrows.”
9 Plates of Meat (feet)
As in: “I’ve just walked 20 miles, and my plates of meat are totally beat.”
10 Mince Pies (eyes)
As in: “That blonde girl has got gorgeous Mince Pies.”
11 Brown Bread (dead)
As in: “He got shot in the head, now he’s brown bread.”
12 Jimmy Riddle (piddle..as in a pee)
As in: “I’ve been drinking pints of lager all afternoon and am bursting for a Jimmy Riddle.”
13 Round the Houses (trousers)
As in: “Round the houses? I prefer shorts.”
Why it’s genius: Because it’s a much more long-winded way of saying something simple…but why not, eh?
14 Bubble and Squeak (greek)
As in: “She’s started dating a bubble and squeak.”
You what? Bubble and squeak is a traditional English dish made out of leftover vegetables.
15 Vera Lynn (gin)
As in: “I’ll have a Vera Lynn and juice please, barman.”
Where does it come from? Vera Lynn was an English singer whose songs helped keep the morale high among British troops in World War II.
16 Bristol City (titty)
As in: “He bit me right on the Bristol City.”
17 Baked Bean (Queen)
As in: “I’m off to see the Baked Bean.”
Why it’s genius: Because you can’t help thinking of the Queen as a baked bean when you say it.
18 Boracic Lint (skint..as in broke/run out of money)
As in: “It’s not payday until next week and I’m Boracic Lint”.
Say what? Boracic Lint was a type of medical dressing used in the late 19th century and much of the 20th century.
19 Butcher’s Hook (look)
As in: “I’m just having a little Butcher’s Hook”.
20 Pony and Trap (crap)
As in: “This music’s Pony and Trap.”
21 Adam and Eve (believe)
As in: “She’s left me. I can’t Adam and Eve it.”