Back in the late 1980s and early 1990s, I had a subscription to Spy magazine, a short-lived and much-loved New York City-centric magazine that wasn’t afraid to take on 800 pound gorillas like how junk food icon Twinkies could survive a nuclear winter.
Then there was writer Joe Eszterhas who publicly and hilariously warred with Rudy Giuliani and then head of the Creative Artists Agency Mike Ovitz.
But it was Spy’s withering descriptions of frequent target Donald Trump, calling him a “short-fingered vulgarian,” that delighted the most.
Trump actually fell for their “Checks to Cheapskates” scheme, as Spy sent checks for 13 cents to Adnan Koshoggi and Donald Trump, who then cashed them.
There was also the wonderful “Separated at Birth” and “Post-Modern” guide that helped me weather the tedium of motherhood between my first and second sons’ toddler years.
Trump hated Spy. Just like he hates the bad Mexicans.
In honor of his bid to be the GOP nominee and to celebrate just how bizarro the American political landscape is right now, we have compiled a tight short list of Mr. Trump’s most notable truths.
1 Trump Sued Bill Maher For Insinuating He Had Orangutan DNA
In 2013, Donald Trump sued television host Bill Maher for $5million over a joke the comedian made on TV.
It saw Maher speculate over Trump’s actual parentage and challenge the billionaire to prove he was not the son of an orangutan.
Maher offered a $5million donation to the charity of Trump’s choice – suggesting the Hair Club for Men – if Trump produced a birth certificate that proved he was not half ape.
This was a comedic turn of play on Trump’s actual offer to give $5million to charity if Democratic President Barack Obama would release his college records after questioning Obama’s citizenship and the authenticity of his birth certificate.
In a letter to Maher before filing the lawsuit, Trump’s lawyer wrote, “Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump’s birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan.”
Thankfully, Trump finally had enough of the monkey business and dropped his lawsuit eight weeks later.
2 Donald And Ivana Trump’s Nasty Divorce
Their marriage lit up the 1980s with its excess and drama. However, the following decade saw the fallout of their lavish lifestyles and The Donald’s wandering eye.
Actress Marla Maples may have been the most obvious reason for Donald and Ivana’s divorce of the 1990s, but those who observed the unraveling of this marriage wrote extensively about Ivana’ plastic surgeries, Donald’s disparaging remarks and the face-off between Ivana and Marla one skiing trip.
The “OG” poster child for movie The First Wives Club, Ivana walked with ten million plus two major properties and the rights to palatial Florida manse Mar-a-Lago one month a year.
She also received $350,000 a year in alimony plus $300,000 for child support.
3 When Trump Filed For Corporate Bankruptcy Four Times
In the USA, there are differences between chapters 7, 11, (12) and 13 of the Bankruptcy Code, which is how so many wealthy people have kept their fortunes after going bankrupt.
Donald Trump filed for corporate bankruptcy four times (in 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009) mostly over reported over-leveraged casino/hotel properties in Atlantic City, all of which are now operated under the banner of Trump Entertainment Resorts.
Donald Trump joins other millionaire presidential candidates (Mitt Romney) who got rich running corporations into bankruptcy.
Now Trump wants to put the same methods into practice to “Make America Great” by running the country into bankruptcy building a cockamamie wall to keep out Mexicans while making sure his downside is limited, as he always has.
4 The Debacle Of Trump’s Mexican Condo Community Going Bust
It wasn’t just orangutans that troubled Trump in 2013, it really was a heck of a year for The Donald.
Trump’s luxury condo development in Baja also went belly up and he had to settle with many unhappy investors.
The details are sealed but the Trump Ocean Resort Baja Mexico debacle made enough news prior to fill in the gaps, as the New York Times wrote in detail about the fleecing:
5 When Trump’s Sexist Brain Showed It Was Only Trumped By His Bigoted Brain
There was the fat-shaming Rosie O’Donnell tirade, and remember the Celebrity Apprentice: All Stars when rocker Bret Michaels took the win?
Brande Roderick, who had got down on her knees saying ‘I want to do this’, had an exchange with Trump after Michaels had his say.
Trump said: “Excuse me, you DROPPED to your knees?”
“Yes,” Brande responded.
Pregnant pause, before Trump replied, “It must be a pretty picture. You dropping to your knees.”
But he even outdid that when, during his presidential campaign launch in June, he said Mexico was bringing “drugs, crime and rapists” to the US.
As if that wasn’t enough he then reiterated his presidential bid remarks with a written statement that included, “the worst elements in Mexico are being pushed into the United States by the Mexican government.
“The largest suppliers of heroin, cocaine and other illicit drugs are Mexican cartels that arrange to have Mexican immigrants trying to cross the borders and smuggle in the drugs. The Border Patrol knows this.”