We know that pretty much everyone loves a good laugh.
So we put together a list of comedians – in order of when they died, from oldest to most recent – who made a mark in comedy and left fans and loved ones too soon.
These amazing people made us laugh over the years, and we wish we could bring them back.
1 Robin Harris
Died in 1990 at the age of 36 from a heart attack.
I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a drunk. Alcoholic got to go to them goddamn meetings.
2 Bill Hicks
Died in 1994 at age 32 of Pancreatic Cancer
I loved when Bush came out and said, “We are losing the war against drugs.” You know what that implies? There’s a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.
3 Rodney Dangerfield
– Died in 2004 at age 82 from surgical complications of heart valve replacement
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said “No, I hate myself now.”
4 Mitch Hedberg
– Died in 2005 at age 37 of a drug toxicity overdose exacerbated by a congenital heart condition
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I’ll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this.
I just can’t imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: “Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut! I got the documentation right here…oh, wait it’s at home…in the file…under “D”.
5 Richard Pryor
– Died in 2005 at age 65 of a heart attack
When I was in Africa, this voice came to me and said, “Richard, what do you see?” I said, I see all types of people.” The voice said, “But do you see any n*ggers?” I said, “No.” It said, “Do you know why? ‘Cause there aren’t any.”
6 Richard Jeni
– Died in 2007 at age 49 by suicide with a gun
On the right wing
A bunch of money-grubbin’, greenhouse-gasing, seal-clubbing, oil-drilling, Bible-thumping, missile-firing, right-to-life-ing, lethal-injecting hypocrites. People whose idea of a good time is strapping a dead panda to a Lincoln Navigator and running over everybody in the gay parade.
On the left wing
A bunch of bong-smoking, America-bashing, flag-burning, yoga-posing, incense-burning, dolphin-saving, salmon-eating hypocrites. These are the sensitive, liberal people who are always yelling about people’s freedom of speech and expression, unless you happen to say something that pisses them off.
7 Marilyn Martinez
– Died in 2007 at 52 from colon cancer
“I’m a triple minority; I’m fat, a woman and Hispanic.”
Ms. Martinez’s routines often included frank talk about sex and men.
“She was getting away with saying a lot of crazy stuff,” said the comedian Carlos Mencia, who performed alongside Ms. Martinez.
8 Bernie Mac
– Died in 2008 at age 50 from pneumonia complications
When white people go on break at their job. 15 minutes. They go to their desk. They eat their cheese sandwich. Drink their God damn tea. 15 minutes they’re back on the fucking job.
9 George Carlin
– Died in 2008 at age 71 of heart failure
Just ‘cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.
10 Greg Giraldo
– Died in 2010 at the age of 44 from a drug overdose
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard?
11 Robin Williams
– Died on 2014 at age 63 from suicide by hanging
“Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”
12 Joan Rivers
Died in 2014 at age 81 from cardiac arrest.
When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything’s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action.
I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents.
I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing ‘Mr. Lonely.’ I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag.
And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyonce’s.