Verne Troyer’s sex technique revealed by girlfriend

Warning, this article is NSFW – or life in general for that matter. 

Verne Troyer, of “Mini Me” fame apparently has some mad skills in the sack.

He met his lover Ranae one fateful New Year’s Eve at a Hugh Hefner Playboy mansion soiree according to the UK’s News of the World.

Ranae claims the “chemistry was instant.”

“He asked for my phone number. I didn’t have anything else to do so I thought why not?”

Subsequently, after the fireworks between the two were established, their first date was reportedly “a romantic dinner overlooking the Pacific in Santa Monica.”

Then sexy times were afoot between the two.

Ranae cops to NOTW in her interview that she nearly drowned Verne the infamous sex tape making weekend at L’Ermitage in Beverly Hills.  Wonder which room that was?  Visitors note: Stay at Shutters on the Beach instead.

Ranae tells NOTW: “I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub. Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in.

But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn’t see him. Verne’s voice is just like it is in the films and as he disappeared under the water, I heard this tiny yelp for help. I could just hear him crying, ‘Ranae, I can’t see! Get me out, I’m drowning!’

I was frantic and started to scoop the bubbles out so I could find him. The bath was only about 3ft deep but for someone of Verne’s size it was like he’d fallen into the deep end of a swimming pool—and he CAN’T swim. I put my hand under and eventually felt his bald head and hauled him out. I couldn’t believe I’d tried to do something sexy and ended up almost killing him. He looked like a drowned rat.”

Ranae blames the idea of a sex tape squarely on Verne.

“Without a doubt there’s nothing Verne enjoys more than seeing himself on screen. Watching his own films is his favourite hobby. So it was no surprise when he asked if he could film us having sex. He said we could use it to get ourselves turned on.”

Verne did the business allegedly three times in 20 minutes the first time he and Ranae were together.

“For a small guy he’s quite well endowed. I had no complaints. But the whole thing was over in three minutes. It was strange having sex with someone who couldn’t reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over. But minutes later Verne was ready to go again. That night we made love three times in 20 minutes, which most bigger men only dream about doing.”


Note the date on this article may be incorrect due to importing it from our old system.