Steve-O waltzes, and Taylor dobles; who will go on DWTS?

Dancing with the Stars wheeled out the tried and true lilting Waltz and the dramatic Paso Doble, the latter a tough dance that looks like someone is going to get a beating at the end of it.

These two dances are the bread and butter staples of the series. The spirited Lindy hop and the uber intense Argentine Tango were so much more fun to watch.

Last night, Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough vowed to break out of the middle of the pack with their Viennese waltz.

Julianne encourages him in rehearsals to completely exaggerate all of his movements to make him look more a pro, less a student.

The judges were positive.  Len was happy with the performance and Bruno lauded Chuck for his new found confidence.  Carrie Ann was the cold water in the face,  and nitpicks a lift mistake which sparks Bruno’s ire and the two judges go back and forth.

Their scores were  7 – 8 – 8
Total: 23

Lawrence Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska did the Paso doble.  Lawrence admits he doesn’t feel this dance whatsoever. Edyta is patient with him in rehearsals and coaches him that the paso dredges up the desire to possibly hit someone.

Lawrence finished the dance strong, so much so that the judges were pretty effusive in their praise. Bruno gesticulates while telling Lawrence that he is the Prince of Darkness.  Calling an NFL linebacker Satan is a gamble.  Carrie Ann thinks that Lawrence is “limited” in his range but does well with his motions.  Len says that he still has to work to do but it was his best dance so far.

The scores: 6 – 7 – 7
Total: 20

Tiny dancer Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas floated on air with their Viennese waltz.  Gymnast Shawn worked hard to get the athlete out of her moves and focus more on technique, and it worked.  Their moves are clean and she can really perform a lovely ballroom dance – despite her compact physique, not exactly a dancer’s build.  Carrie Ann notes that the two excelled in showing off Shawn’s improved technique.  Len’s a foot watcher and noted that Shawn didn’t step forward on her heels, but Bruno loved it with the exception of how she held her shoulders.

The scores: 9 – 8 – 9
Total: 26

Texan Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani turned out a spirited Paso doble to Lady Gaga’s hit song, Poker Face.

Melissa works hard; like DAG and Gilles, she really wants to win this thing. The two move beautifully together and Tony is responding to his adept student who is a natural dancer.

Len is the wet blanket and feels the moves of Melissa lacked the appropriate aggression but adds that she danced beautifully.  Bruno and Carrie Ann noticed the missteps but overall were positive.

The scores: 8 – 8 – 9
Total: 25

The most maligned dancer of the season, David Alan Grier and partner Kym Johnson did the Viennese waltz.  DAG is working har and is a great dancer, why the judes feel he and Kym aren’t in sync is beyond me.

David promises to gift Len some wine; but joking aside, the two did a very fine waltz, yet the judges had their “stinky shrimp under the desk” faces on.  It was the face Carrie made every time the Woz danced.

Bruno was half positive, half demeaning, with his “dog at a lamp post” crack.   Carrie Ann hammers the “you two are not in sync and do not move together” opinion.  Len -perhaps anticipating a fine gift bottle of wine in his trailer later, says David moves well and compliments his routine and efforts.

The scores: 7 – 8 – 7
Total: 22

The best dancer of the lot, actor and “papa” Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke just nailed the Paso doble.  The two went to a Martial arts place where Gilles practices to get the fierceness of the dance down.  Gilles son was adorable as he play acted with dad in the B-roll.   Cheryl is a great teacher and she is fortunate to have a natural on her hands this season. Gilles begins their dance shirtless for his paso doble as Cheryl comes up behind him and slips on his jacket. Slick.  They are seamless and move like lightning on the floor.  He has a classic dancer’s physique and works it.

Carrie Ann loves Gilles and Cheryl, as they “bring the heart and soul of the dance” and Len is the buzz kill as he critiques Gilles’ shirtless beginning and found the routine a bit “hectic”; Bruno goes full-Monty apoplectic and says “Gilles, you are going for zee kill!”

The scores:10 – 9 – 10
Total: 29

Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer did the Viennese waltz.  But before we see them dance, we get the Jackass drive-by of Johnny Knoxville, Jeff Tremaine and Jason Acuna (Wee Man) who are totally psyched to see their friend thriving and staying clean.  Lacey was digging the visit too.  Steve-O is trying to learn, and his circus training came into play last night as the mime moves added flair to the dance..

Len tells Steve-O it was his best dance.  Bruno says with a French accent that his timing is much better tonight, but the technique, mais non.  Carrie Ann reminds him to work on his posture. 

The scores:  6 – 6 – 6
Total: 18

Cowboy Ty Murray and Chelsie Hightower perform the Paso doble

Ty and Chelsie get up close with a bull, and the dance remind me of the taught body posturing that bull riders use when in action.  Chelsie and Ty dance but Ty is stiff, almost wooden. Bruno picks up on this and notes Ty was like a Transformer or  robotic, and Carrie Ann agrees with him.  Len is impressed with how far Ty has come since his horrid Cha Cha.

The scores: 7 – 7 – 7
Total: 21


Another tiny dancer, Lil’ Kim and pro Derek Hough did a beautiful Viennese waltz.  She can dance a blue streak too. Last week, Lil’ Kim got a  10 from Bruno for the Argentine tango, but this week, the waltz is her platform to shine.

The two move like liquid; Lil’ Kim is a fantastic dancer, and despite her stature, she works those legs like they were 6 feet long.  Carrie Ann raves about how she and Derek have what DAG and Kym do not.  Len loved the floaty qualities but made some foot watching remarks. Bruno says that loves watching Lil’ Kim and loves how she puts the “sassy” into the Waltz. 

The scores: 9 – 8 – 9
Total: 26

See you tonight after the results show.

Monsters and Critics will be spending the day – April 13 – in the makeup trailer (and the show later in the evening) with all the Dancing with the Stars cast and crew. Once again I will be digging into the kits and drawers inside the makeup trailer and finding out exactly what products are used to make everyone look so good.  Send in your questions for Emmy winner department head makeup artist Melanie Mills and her team!

Note the date on this article may be incorrect due to importing it from our old system.