Notes from the Living Room: Netherlands – 0 Argentina - 0

By David C. Watson Jun 24, 2006, 0:15 GMT

David Campbell Watson hails from Edinburgh in Scotland and runs a multi-media consultancy in Los Angeles. A proud supporter of the fabulous Heart of Midlothian Football Club, David is happily married to Susie who by no fault of her own is English.

Much like my fading spread predictions, I picked the wrong game to watch live.  There I was tingling with anticipation at this classic match-up only to be rendered partially comatose within the hour.   Frankly, I’m old enough now to know way better.

The whole thing was understandable of course.  Nothing at stake and reflected in the various team selections.  Unlike England, who has been tying themselves in knots about avoiding anyone with a half-decent football side in the next round, the actual first versus second was immaterial to these two.  They’re happy to meet anyone as they believe in their ability.

This particular fixture does have some serious history.  From a Cruyff-inspired drubbing in 1974, the unfortunate loss in the final of 1978 and that goal in 1998 – Bergkamp controlling a long ball, leaving his marker for dead and scoring with an arrogant curler, for me even shading the classic Van Basten strike that won them the European Championship in 1988 – the Netherlands have more than held their own.

But to paraphrase the words of Sir Winston, the Dutch football squad has always been something of a niggle wrapped in an argument inside a full-blown fistfight.  Their inability to coexist with each other at major tournaments is legendary.  As sure as one of the African sides will threaten to quit over bonuses, the Dutch squad will immediately split into a myriad of camps claiming racism, elitism or any number of isms you care to mention as a reason for completely underachieving.  This year it’s been remarkably quiet, although there has been an early handbag tiff between Arsenal’s Van Persie and Chelsea’s Robben after the first group game.  Seemingly Van Persie took exception to Robben’s match winning performance and accused him of ball hogging.  Kids – don’t you just love ‘em?

As for Argentina, the shadow of Maradona still looms large.  I can’t work out whether it’s an uplifting or slightly dispiriting sight to see the endless pictures of the notorious rotund one living it up in the stands.   Like many others, I grew up in awe of his ability to transform a simple sport into a true art form and then watched transfixed as the huge burden of carrying both his club Napoli and country to absurd heights unleashed the demons.  

After single-handedly propelling Argentina to victory in 1986, it was downhill all the way. Drugs, cartels, prostitutes, illegitimate kids and tax evasion to the tune of 40 million USD, you name it and he did it. When comically arrested for taking potshots at journalists with a BB gun from behind the iron gates of his house, it seemed that there was no way back.  I do hope Rooney’s read the book.

But never underestimate the power of public opinion.  They have a soft spot for Diego, in a similar way that England still loves watching Paul Gascoigne fall over his increasingly large behind on a monthly basis.  With the help of a dodgy talk show and a few charitable donations, he’s once again the favorite national face of football. 

This team is quite possibly worthy of his admiration.  The coach has used a barely believable 22 out of 23 of his squad so far and none of them looks remotely out of place.  They run everything through the sublime Riquelme who dictates games in a way that Gerrard should do for England if he had a manager with a remote clue.

It might have been a dull match, but you get the feeling that if Argentina had wanted to up the pace they could have done so at any given moment.  Messi and Tevez were quite scary at points and they’re not even starters.  Compare that to the England bench of…em….Theo.  To be fair, the Dutch also seemed to have something in reserve, but then we’ve seen that so many times before and it always ends in ultimate failure.

This could well be the final if the Germans don’t do their usual thing of turning up uninvited when nobody really wants them there.