Berlin - Loud, sleep-depriving fan celebrations in the street. Croaking frogs outside the team's hotel. And, oh yes, those sun-dried football pitches in the stadiums.
When it comes to excuses for miserable playing, the world's 32 best football teams are often more creative than on the field.
Laying the groundwork for future excuses is especially tricky, as Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin found out. He forecast a dull game for his side's World Cup debut against Spain because 'it's impossible to run for 90 minutes' in an unexpectedly hot, dry German summer.
Too bad the Spaniards ran and sparkled, humiliating Ukraine 4-0.
Even Blokhin acknowledged there was no excuse. But Vladislav Vashchuk, a defender who was sent off in the 47th-minute, reportedly found one: Loud frogs near the team hotel that kept the players awake the night before the match.
Some Ukraine players were so upset they threatened to chase down the nuisances with their bare hands, the Ukrainian daily Donbas reported Thursday.
Pity the Swedish team, which was under pressure to beat Paraguay in Berlin on Thursday after a disappointing goalless draw against Trinidad and Tobago.
Whoever booked them into a hotel on the capital's party-prone Kurfuerstendamm boulevard may have speculated that Germany would lose their game against Poland the night before.
The home team won, sending raucous, beer-fuelled German fans into the streets. In the morning, the Swedes told reporters the racket had kept them from sleeping.
Crisis side Togo lapsed into nasty squabbling after their opening 2-1 loss to South Korea.
After the match, Togo federation general-secretary Assogbavi Komlam accused embattled coach Otto Pfister of being an alcoholic.
The German coach issued an outraged denial, saying he was a teetotaller and would bring the 'defamation' before FIFA, the sport's governing body.
France, fielding several veterans of their 1998 world champion side, looked blunt in their goalless opener with Switzerland at Stuttgart. But French coach Raymond Domenech found the bright side.
'At least we cost our opponent two points,' he said.
He also criticized organisers for presenting an arid pitch that slowed down the ball and stymied attacking play. Meanwhile, Swiss player Ludovic Magnin blamed the setting sun that 'shone smack in our faces.'
The Dutch also complained about Sahara-like grass in Leipzig, even after Arjen Robben scored the lone goal against Serbia-Montenegro with a speedy run down the allegedly slow field.
German organisers - who first blamed players' 'subjective' ideas about an ideal pitch - reversed themselves Thursday. They eased a rule restricting watering of the field to six hours before kick-off. Now, watering will be allowed until 90 minutes before the match.
But the World Cup also bares deeper problems in many countries' football organisations that may offer plausible excuses.
Janusz Tomaszewski, Poland's goalkeeping hero at the 1974 and 1978 championships, said a nation where football has mostly made headlines with corruption scandals can hardly expect to conquer the world.
'This mess is just another episode in the long funeral of Polish football,' Tomaszewski said even before Poland lost 1-0 to Germany on Wednesday, in effect sealing their early exit.
© 2006 dpa - Deutsche Presse-Agentur 
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