A Time to Make Friends

By Andy Goldberg Jun 9, 2006, 14:23 GMT

Young German women pose for photographers prior the opening group A match of 2006 FIFA World Cup between Germany and Costa Rica in Munich, on Friday, 9 June, 2006. EPA/Peter Kneffel

Berlin - Think of Germany and the traits that usually come to mind are dour efficiency, impeccable order, extreme thoroughness and of course that little bit of trouble they caused for everyone about 65 years ago.

But if you believe the organisers of this year's World Cup that is all long in the past. Today's Germany, they would have you believe is a Land of Ideas - a country welcomes the world with open arms and whose innovations are less the result of rigid discipline that frequent flashes of creative genius.

Everywhere around the World Cup venues you see the slogan 'Germany: Land of Ideas' even more than the official motto of the tournament: 'A Time to Make Friends.'

'We can show the world that we are a cosmopolitan, happy, innovative and friendly country,' German Justice Minister Brigitte Zypries merrily told Deutsche Presse-Agentur dpa Friday morning, just a day after the country demonstrated this commitment by greeting the Swiss team with a cacophony of Alpenhorns.

Calf injury causes national crisis

As the hours ticked down Friday towards the kick-off of the tournament's first game few people in this country were concerned with the high minded tournament ideals. As they feverishly set up their big screen TVs in restaurants, bars and living rooms around the country their attention was focused more than ever on the right calf muscle of the talismanic German captain Michael Ballack.

The Chelsea-bound player is the country's best hope of performing credibly in the tournament. His injury has been a focus of media concern for days and already caused a minor furore when it emerged that he had been visiting a faith-healing guru who among other unusual techniques was plying the German superhero with 'oscillating water' meant to counteract the negative energy caused by the niggling injury.

The German tabloid Bild predictably called the substance 'Wunderwasser' or 'Wonder Water' and barely 24 hours after its existence was exposed to the German public it appeared to be having an effect. Contrary to all accepted medical wisdom, and not less important, to the express decision of his national manager Jurgen Klinsmann, Ballack pronounced himself fit for the Costa Rica game - sparking off a national debate into the existential questions of reality. 'Is he fit or is he not fit?' wondered a clearly bemused host on German morning television. 'It's all so confusing.'

The alternative: Holiday to Mallorca

Ingo, the taxi driver who drove me to central Berlin, was disgusted with the whole World Cup hullabaloo. Firstly he was one of only four Germans in a nation of 82 million who actually can't stand the sport. Secondly he spends hours each day waiting in an interminable line of taxis at the airport because no tourists are coming to watch the haloed games. 'It's a waste of time and money,' he said. 'I wish I would have listened to my wife and gone on holiday to Mallorca.'

'Where are the fans?'

Brawny Timm Leutzen has spent the past two weeks supervising the construction of the fan camp - a vast array of tents on a East-German era athletics field surrounded by the typical boxlike apartment buildings that were constructed with socialist glee during the time that half the country was ruled by the Communists.

The sprawling tent city would remind visitors of a well-appointed refugee camp - except for one thing. There are no visitors.

Replete with showers and toilets in shipping containers, a couple of bars and canteens, a games room and its own soccer field for friendly matches between the fans, the camp boasts a total of 152 tents each with a 12 person capacity. The place can accommodate 2,000 fans but with the tournament set to begin Leutzen had only 9 paying guests, plus a few volunteers like Harvan Garva Valderama from Peru, who had flown in from Lima at his own expense to help out and gain experience for his chosen profession of sports event management.

The conditions were certainly not salubrious - visitors paying 12 euros (15 dollars) a night have to sleep on the wooden floors - but the important things are all taken care of, Leutzen noted proudly.

'This is our LED big screen,' he said as he gestured to the giant monitor. 'You can even throw beer bottles at it and nothing will happen. We thought this would be important. Especially if England lose.'

Leutzen hoped that he would still be overwhelmed by a sudden influx of fans once the tournament progressed to the later stages. But in a bitter rant he complained that despite the friendly slogans the inbred traits of Germanic efficiency had kept foreign fans away. 'It was very hard to get tickets and so nobody comes,' he complained.

'It's a real problem of Germany. Too many rules. Too many things to look out for. My God. I wish we could change.'

I pointed out to him that the strict rules on ticket allocation had been imposed by FIFA, but this just set him off on another tantrum. 'Aach FIFA,' he said, spitting out the word as though it was the symbol of all evil. 'All they want is money.'